(Closed) My FI went to the ER in the middle of the night without telling me.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah, that’s a bit cheeky. Obv it was bad if he went to the ER instead of just lookin for an all night drugstore? I’d be willing to bet he’d be annoyed if you did that. Have you been together long? I mean, is he having trouble adjusting to sharing  & caring etc?!

Post # 6
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well maybe you have to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. Silly men and their silly behaviour! I guess I’d react kinda bad to it cos here you only really go to the hosp if your leg is hanging off or something, lol.! Does he at least realise how pissed you are? Today is prob your only window to thrash this one out without making it a silly recurring ‘nagging’ row.

Post # 7
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

That would be so annoying! It’s not worth being mad over, but it is worth giving him a guilt trip 🙂 I could see my FH doing that (we don’t live together), but once we live together, that would be a no-go.

Btw – who drives himself to the ER?! If you have to go to the ER, you shouldn’t be driving!

Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee

I can imagine I would be very annoyed if that happened to me too! What if you had woken up in the middle of the night and not known where he was!?

HOWEVER I can also see that from his point of view he probably thought he was being nice by letting you sleep and not waking you so I would just let him know how it made you feel but not make it a big issue because I’m sure that he didn’t do it to hurt you.

Post # 11
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ah, if you’ve been going through stuff it makes more sense. Not total sense and I would be just as upset as you, but I can see his logic. Guys don’t always have the “best” logic… to us girls. 😉

I was going to say, a friend of mine dislocated her knee one night and went to the ER and didn’t tell her Fiance until morning. Granted, they weren’t living together and she didn’t want to worry him or wake him up. This was also about 9 weeks before the wedding and she had to wear a brace from her hip to ankle on her wedding day. Good thing she got a ball gown! In my friends case, I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I’m too much of a wuss and would have called my Fiance. He has a lot of experience with injuries from Hockey. My friend and her Fiance are both accident prone, so I guess to them it’s nothing to add another set of crutches to the closet….

I can see his reasoning, but I would suggest talking about it. Maybe set some ground rules… “If anyone needs to go to the ER or leave the house, like one of us or a future possible child, we have to at least wake the other up and tell them what’s happening. If you really don’t want company I’ll trust you, but I at least want to know you have to leave no matter how minor.”

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