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He has been cheating on me for a year with his ex gf. She had no clue I ever existed. She works with a friend of mine and my friend overheard her talking about how her ex had been texting her and how they had hooked up about 2 months ago but got into an arguement, so my friend asked which ex ( the ex gf didnt know she worked with a friend of mine) and she replied " Trevor" , my fiance. I didnt believe it , he denies it. My friend took a picture of the text messages back and forth from the ex gf. Shes madly in love with him, told him she loved him and wanted to marry him one day. Theyve only have sex once in a year but they have done everything but sex since then for a whole year. The ex is completely devastated because she had no clue about me. He would come over late on the weekends to go to parties with her and get drunk. I am a total wreck. I have given him every ounce of me for 2 and a half years. I dont understand how someone could be so mean and not care about the other person enough to realize what their doing is wrong. He fucking proposed to me while he was cheating. He keeps denying it, he told me he lied about texting her and he was sorry but that he knew I would be upset. But he refuses to admit to cheating, he says its all a lie but yet he isnt crying, he isnt driving as fast as he can to my house to beg for me back. He isnt doing a damn thing to prove to me he is not guilty. He hasnt told me he loved me and never would do that and yadda yadda yadda... NOTHING. Hes just living his life day to day as he always does without even flinching. He wont talk to me, he wont call me or reply to text, he hangs up on me if we do talk. Im just so empty. I hurt so bad and cant stop crying randomly and cant even believe this is my life. If I have ever doubted there was a god, I do for sure now. He doesnt care at all and I hurt so bad because I care too much. I just want my life to start over, I dont want to feel this pain anymore , Its so hard to breath. I left him of course, but I hurt so insainly bad. Hes always been so overprotective and I guess its because hes been cheating on me and seen how easy it was to get by with it. I dont even know what to do with my life anymore. I sound like a desperate little bitch but really I am desperate and so hurt. He has been all of me and everything to me for so long. I couldnt imagine ever being with someone other then him, or dating someone other then him. How can he hurt me so badly and not even care? How is this possible? How did this happen? Why wasnt I enough? What did I do wrong? What did i not do right? What did she have that I didnt? I did everything he ever wanted . I just dont know what is so wrong with me that he had to cheat and lie to me. Bee's I need you more then ever now.
There's nothing "wrong with you" that made him cheat. He's an asshole, that's why he cheated. *hugs*
*Hugs* I am so sorry :(
I can tell that you are really in so much pain right now. You do not deserve that. You did NOTHING wrong here. He is fully in the wrong and never thing otherwise.
I am really so sorry that you are going through this.
Do you have any family you can stay with for a while to help you out?
Do not feel ashamed about your feelings.
We are here for you
you didn't do anything. Let it go. if he's being that much of an a**, he's not worth having you. He obviously doesn't care enough about the relationship to even come clean and talk to you about it.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
TONS AND TONS OF HUGS!!!
Sorry. Don't beat yourself up. He is a jerk and he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than him.
HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT. NOT YOU. I am so, so, so sorry, but SO thankful you did not end up marrying that scumbag. Don't even give him the time of day, I guarantee he'll come sniffing back around and when he does, tell him to kiss your beautiful ass.
BIG HUGS TO YOU.
That is awful. I am so sorry you have to go through this!
No woman deserves to be treated that way. Thank goodness this came out before the two of you were married. What a douche bag.
First, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Second, stop. Breathe. It is incredibly difficult for you right now but it will get better. It gets better. Know that his actions are not your fault and not a result of anything you did or are lacking. He made those choices not you. I know it's hard to imagine now but you will be OK someday. Don't beat yourself up.
What do you mean he won't talk to YOU? He won't reply to you? Thats messed up. It should be the other way around.
Did you guys live together? Do you have a safe place to be right now?
I'm so sorry. This is just awful! You totally don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve you! He's the one who's wrong, not you. You did nothing wrong at all!
Just be glad you found out now, then later. It will take alot of time, but you will heal.
PLEASE don't blame yourself! He sounds like a douche, plain and simple, and you definitely deserve better! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. 
I'm so sorry. This is just awful! You totally don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve you! He's the one who's wrong, not you. You did nothing wrong at all!
Just be glad you found out now, then later. It will take alot of time, but you will heal.
That is horrible and I am so sorry you're going through this. I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say this: your in a lot of pain right now but at least you found out before you got married. YOU did absolutely nothing wrong. We are all going to tell you that but you're going to feel like it was you for a little while. Rest assured it was not. But if that's how you feel, feel it for a while. We're here to support you.
Big hugs to you, dear! I'm so sorry. It will get better and time heals all wounds. Now you're free to find the one you're meant to be with who won't cheat on you and will treat you like the awesome woman that you are! Hugs! (And a b*tch slap to him!)
Yikes, this is awful of him :( And like PPs have said, it is what HE has done - not you - and you deserve someone better than that.
I'm really sorry. When I was 18 and went away to college, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me on my second day away at school. Then 9/11 happened and I went back to my hometown and went to his house to talk and pretty much caught him red-handed (another girl was in the shower). He actually tried to deny that anything was going on at first, if you can believe that.
So, while it wasn't technically cheating, I know how you feel. I felt like I was literally going to die. I don't know if I have felt that upset and lost since. I don't know if you are like this, but it was compounded by the fact that I didn't really have an identity outside of him. I ditched a lot of my friends in high school to be with him, and I was so used to him being around all the time... it was like I didn't know who I was. We got back together, and I think he continued to cheat while I was in college, but I didn't care very much b/c we grew apart and broke up about a year later. Like your SO, my ex was always very jealous and protective... I think it was b/c he assumed I was or would mess around b/c he was doing it.
I'm really sorry :( I told you about my experience, b/c it does get better! Really lean on your friends for support, and make some changes. Maybe try to branch out from your hometown a bit, throw yourself into extra-curriculars, meet new people. Try to stay as positive as you can. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve better. You definitely dodged the bullet on this one.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Don't let him turn it around and make you feel like you have done something wrong. Bottom line if he cheated he is the one who has done wrong! We got your back girl!
my heart hurts for you, and i am so sorry that you are going through this.
everyday, look in the mirror and be proud of the woman that you see - you are a strong, beautiful woman, and he didn't deserve you - you were strong enough to leave even though it hurt so much, and thats incredible by itself
lean on your family, lean on your friends, and let yourself hate him if it helps you heal - and love yourself. there is NOTHING that you did/didn't do/could have done to change what he did - you are not the person who was wrong here, it was 100% him
all kinds of hugs and love to you - be strong.
I know its hard to see, but he's the one who lost something. You dodged a bullet by not marrying a lying, cheating, heartless a**hole.
I've been with my husband for 9 years and we were long distance through college before we were engaged or married, and I used to worry about him cheating, and then i realized that I needed to Stop worrying because if he DOES cheat, he wasnt worth my time or tears.
I know it hurts but chin up and realize that you couldve ended up with him! This is so much better- you are going to meet a man who will never make you feel like this!
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/life-after-a-broken-engagement
I just saw this and thought of you. Take a look.
I am so sorry. I can't believe he isn't even apologizing. I even feel sorry for his ex -- he totally used both of you. You deserve so much better, and it's better that you found out now before the wedding. You're going to be a stronger, better person in the end. Don't let him ring you down! ***hugs***
This won't help right now, but the possible is that you found out now, not AFTER you married him. You were able to learn what he's capable of, and see his true colors. I knwo its HURTS alot, and it will for a while. Just realize you will heal in time, and that you now have the opportunity to find someone SO much better.
This is nothing YOU DID. HE is the POS to do this! I am so sorry you are going through this! but you have to take a step back and breath, and concentrate on next steps to rebuiliding your life, You can clearly DO so much better then this character! he's out there some where! Think of this as a blessing to know now...not after you are married!
((Hugs))
@Chiotilidieo: oh honey! you didnt do anything wrong and i know you dont want to hear it but this is for the best - could you imagine if you hadnt found out? he is not worth even an ounce of your time, you do not want to enter into a marriage with someone who doesnt hold the values of marriage very high and clearly he doesnt.
i know it hurts and only time will erase that hurt but know you are much better off without this guy - and the best revenge is to move on and for him to see you happy again one day.
He's acting like an ASS and I would advise that you stop trying to contacting him. He's doing a power play, playing the victim. I would take a trip somewhere thsi weekend with your girlfriends and get away from it all.
I"m so sorry this happenl, but as the PP stated, you def dodge a bullet! It will get better.
HUGS!!!
Im so sorry, thats terrible. But please dont think that it was somthing you did. It is not you at all. I wish you nothing but the very best. (hugs)
I am so sorry you are going through this and are in so much pain. It's not your fault and you truly deserve better. *Big hugs*
I am so sorry you are going through this. (((hug))) you did nothing wrong. This is ALL on him. Consider yourself lucky to find out this early. I know it's hard, but you're better off without him.
My personal reaction: This is where you take his shit and throw it on the lawn. (I would most likely gas and burn it). I would also change the locks. Leave him a message to come and get his shit and rot in hell.
He's an ass-hat and you deserve way better. Also, big hugs and virtual cookies from me. It's totally not your fault, by the way!
Oh honey! No amt of "I'm sorry's" from us will make you feel better right now. But, we are all sorry that you are dealing with this. You didn't do anything wrong, HE is the one that cheated and is showing no remorse for doing so.
Please try to breathe and keep telling yourself that you are perfect and you did NOTHING wrong. ((((HUGS))))
@Chiotilidieo: Why wasnt I enough? What did I do wrong? What did i not do right? What did she have that I didnt?
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I can tell you right now, there is nothing that you did wrong, and there is nothing that she had that you don't have. Think about it. He didn't even tell her he was engaged. HE WAS CHEATING ON HER TOO! He disrespected her as much as he disrespected you. He is just a scumbag who thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it, but then gets insanely jealous at the idea of the women he's using doing the same thing he is!
You made the right choice, and don't ever forget that. He was not worth it to you, and I can promise you that you will look back on your relationship and see all the warning signs that you sadly overlooked before. There will be pain now, and lots of it, but just always remember that this will be a learning experience. And when you finally manage to get through this you will be all the stronger for it!
HUGS!
I was reading through some of OPs posts. I believe they live apart, which is really good in this case.
What a dufus
This is a very mean thing that he did, Honestly if he cant be man enough to admit it, you should just try and cut him off for a while and see him or deal with him, so you can clear your head
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you left him. I know it's going to be hard the next few weeks/months. You're strong and can get through this. Hugs!!
My heart aches for you!!
Do you have friends or family you can stay with?
I can't belive the actions of some people - I know it hurts now & will hurt for a long time, but stay strong & come on here to scream & vent!! We'll all be thinking of you!
I'm soo sorry you're going through this :( How awful. Every ounce of me wants to walk up to your ex-FI and kick him in the balls.
I am soooo sorry you are going through this!!! I can't begin to imagine the pain you are going through.... but you did nothing wrong!! This IS NOT your fault. As hard as it is to realize now, its better that you found out before you got married. You will find someone better who loves everything about you and would never hurt you!! Take time to heal and then get excited about your future because the man of your dreams is out there!!
@Chiotilidieo: oh honey, I was hoping when I saw the title of this thread and that you created it, that it would be one of those catchy titles and inside it would say something about him cheating on you with an xbox or something.
I am so sad for you, I can tell that you are upset by this (and rightfully so). I mirror so many others in saying that you are so much better off without him and in no way is this your fault!
I know it doesn't seem like it now. I know right now everything is just a mess. Take the next few days, hours, heck minutes and breathe. Slow down. Take a moment to collect yourself, if you need to, get mad.
I want to echo what @EleanorRigby: said. I'm sure a lot of this hurt and some of the upcoming struggles are going to be be finding an identity outside of him. I was also in this same situation with my ex husband. When we split, I couldn't even tell you what cereal I liked, but I knew what he liked. I literally had a meltdown right there in the grocery aisle when I was on my own again. I had no idea who I was... and what the heck I liked... my world revolved around him, and now that he was no longer I didnt know what to do!
I am hear to tell you, that you don't see it now, because it's all so fresh. But I promise you that you will rediscover yourself, you will learn to love yourself and learn that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for at the moment. You will find someone who loves you right and who would never let you down like this.
I promise, you will heal, you will be stronger, and you will find love again... and it will be better than you can even imagine.
xoxo-
Oh dear! [[HUGS]]
I am sorry that you are in agony and despair. You are NOT the cause of this issue. It was HIS CHOICE to cheat; and he paid for it by losing a wonderful woman like you. You are empowered by gaining your life back. Yes, it will take a while to heal the emotional wounds, but you are still the warrior who won the battle.
Rest assured that you will meet a gentleman who is deserving of your love and vice vorsa.
On behalf of all the bees here, I am officially giving him a virtual "BEE STING!"
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