(Closed) My Fiance cousin just got married…..

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

She can do it because she doesn’t give a sh*t. You could do it, too, but you obviously have a better head on your shoulders and have other priorities.

Post # 5
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Every family has that person who does whatever they want.  At least you know his ahead of time.  Don’t compare your relationship with hers, they simply aren’t the same.  I’m sure your Fiance is just concerned about you.  My Darling Husband confessed to me that when my dad placed my hand in his he became INCREDIBLY nervous.  He said at that moment he realized that he had to take care of me, and he hoped he wouldn’t let my dad down.  Your Fiance sounds like he has good reasons, so just relax and enjoy the engagement!

Post # 6
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sure his family cares about her and it upsets them, but they also know that this is how she acts, and it doesn’t sound very responsible. Your Fiance wants the two of you to have a good life together, and you guys are taking steps to do that. You probably COULD go out and just get married tomorrow, but you might have a harder time than if you’re both settled in good careers and have a nice home. It sucks sometimes, I know! MY Fiance and I are ready to just run off and never come back, lol. BUT, sometimes it takes time to lay a good foundation. Just think of all the good that will come from it and be strong!

Post # 7
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Different people have different standards for what they want in life.  Don’t worry about living up to everyone else’s standards, just yours.  I got engaged at 18 after only 3.5 months, andn getting married after 2.5 more years, at age 20.  But we were working and living together AND going to school the whole time.  And in that time our friends have gotten married and some had babies and I understand the waiting even when you KNOW what you want and are capable of having it now.  Just understand that you are aiming for more than she has and the feeling of finally having your wedding and being married after the long wait will make it soo much more rewarding when you get there!  You’re not alone in the waiting game and I think WB can offer you alotta support as you plan your wedding!  I hope you feel better soon!

Post # 8
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This girl has been married twice before the age of 22.  Why on earth would you want to try to make your relationship more like hers?  Saying she gets to get married like this and why can’t you, would be like saying she gets to say home all day because she’s unemployed, and why can’t you.  You’re an adult, you could do things her way, but why would you want to?  People are telling you to wait because it will strengthen your marriage and improve your life for the two of you to be financially stable and finished with your education first.  They’re telling you this and not her because they still have hope for you.

Post # 9
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im agreeing with spaniel on this one!


Post # 11
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Well she just chose to do things differently. My Future Sister-In-Law was planning a wedding but 6months before having it she called up her grandparents and my fiance (the only family that lives here) and said “We’re getting married. If you want to be there we are at the_____ courthouse” That’s just what she chose. And I’m not sure how long they’d been togher, but she was 19. I’ve been with Mr. Jellybean since I was 17. We got engaged when I was 18. And STILL haven’t gotten married 3yrs later. We’ll have been engaged almost 4yrs when we get marriend 1-1-11, and I’ll be 22: Fiance just shy of being 26.  Now you’re thinking that’s plenty of time to be together (5yrs), but I can’t hold a candle to my brother who was with his wife 8yrs before getting married. She had her masters and he his bachlor degree. And although Fiance and I have a business together I haven’t spent a day in college-because i stayed out to help family. So they’re having a fit essentially. And I don’t hold what some would call a “REAL” job. I work for our business and I do an online job. Really it’s your choice that you’ve waited this long and that she didn’t. She’s doing things her way. You’re doing them yours. By the way maybe they have higher expectations for your guy then they do for his cousin. I mean she’s obvioulsy a rebel and he plays it safe. I think his family just wants what’s best for him-which means you’re not jumping into a marriage when you’ve only been togehter 4months and don’t even have a job.

Post # 12
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Different expectations… They must expect her to be rash and do what she wants – his family would obviously know her personality and possible actions. The same thing exists in every family. I’ve been dating my guy for 5 YEARS and we’ve got another 1.5 before we get married. I’m going for a second degree and hes in med school… we’re following THE plan to be successful and happy b/c its what we want. Yet, I have 2 cousins that got married right out of HS w/ nothing… no real wedding (“surprize! we got married” – more or less)… no real job… short relationships, but it wasn’t a big, b/c no one expected success from them. Are they happy? I don’t really know, but it was their choice to do things the way they did. My family expects more from me b/c I chose to do things safely… I know what its like to be poor and stuggle – I’m never going through that again! In regards to my family… it doesn’t mean they love me more and them less… its just how things are. The cousins look at me like I’m the idiot for waiting for what I want… pah.

My SO’s little 18 year old sister just got pregnant… and our plans got bumped back an extra 8 months. Crap happens… its hard to get over it and realize situtations are not the same, but you have to unless you want to brew about it and have that nagging irrational feeling rear its ugly head. If you can’t tell I get that on occassion. 🙂

Post # 13
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, boy, don’t be jealous of this! I think they all probably respect you a lot more than they respect her.

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