My fiancé doesn't have any friends :(

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hey there is a movie about this lol , its a good one too I forget what it’s called !! Don’t worry everything will work out and he does have a best friend and that’s you!!

Post # 4
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

 

charismacharm:  My FI doesn’t have any close, everyday, hang out friends either.  In our wedding, I have 2 BMs and he will have no one standing on his side.  This bothers me sometimes, it’s bothered me more while wedding planning.  It saddens me thinking that he will have no one standing with him.  He doesn’t seem to think it is too much of a big deal.  Overall, I’m not concerned with it.  I have very few close friends (3 including my sister) none of which I see or talk to every day.  I think he and I are compatible that way though…he and I both dislike most people but we are pretty fond of each other! lol

Post # 6
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

He sounds extremely introverted. Don’t push him to make friends; it causes nothing but anxiety. My GF doesn’t really have any friends either. Well she has people who she’s cool with and could hang out but they don’t really. Mainly in part bc theyre common interest, she no longer takes part in. I’ve been trying to get her to join different social groups like a book club or creative writing club (she likes both) but she’s not biting. I’m not pushy about it, just bring it up whenever she brings up that she has no friends. 

Post # 8
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m your fiance in this scenario. I had a small group of friends until they dropped off the face of the earth. Instead of having 4 bridesmaids in our upcoming wedding, I am looking at zero bridesmaids. It very hard for me to deal with that. My fiance is like you. He’s still deciding on who should be best man of the 3 guys he’s extremely close to.

Your FI sounds very introverted and that’s okay. He may only need you in his life and while you don’t get that, he may actually be okay with that.

Post # 9
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have to accept him the way he is. If he can’t make friends when he is young, he likely won’t do it when he is older.

Some people just don’t require the things that friendships provide.

You can still make couple friends, have them over and share activities. I`m sure FI can be polite and sociable on these occasions.

Post # 10
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

There is a lot to be said for someone who can keep his own company and doesn’t need anyone. Monks strive for years to achieve that ! 🙂

I would encourage him in academic pursuits where he can be intellectual or bookish and not be expected to talk, but is learning. Arrange for him to join a language class (as a present) or something where he can study and not be expected to talk much, except in the context of a class, but it still gets him out of the house.

Post # 11
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You said you don’t need anybody but yourselves, but I disagree. My parents were lone wolf types. They had people they were friendly with at work, etc., but they never hung out with anyone or went to do fun stuff when we were growing up. I honestly think this made it more difficult for my brother and I to figure out how to interact with people and make friends. At any rate, my dad passed away out of the blue at 56 three years ago and my mom has been completely lost since then. You need at least a small group of peope who you can trust who can support you and you can support when the going gets rough.

Post # 12
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think you should try to change your fiance but definitely don’t become more solitary yourself because he doesn’t have friends.

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I have worried about this with my husband as well, though he isn’t as bad as your FI sounds. 

I bet that as you introduce him to your own friends and he watches your social behaviors, it may influence him or he might pick up some of your friends along the way. Do you make friends easily? Maybe you two could take a cooking class or some other social activity that will introduce you to lots of people.

Post # 14
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

charismacharm:  My FI and I lost contact with a lot of our friends though out the years. When we first started dating we hung out with friends constantly. Then as years went by things changed…ppl moved, started families, ect. Now it’s pretty much just me and him, and I’m okay with it. We have good family (cousins, siblings) and spend most of our social time with them. Honestly, I rather hang out with my FI then anyone else. He’s my best friend and we have so much fun together. If the friend situation isn’t negatively affecting your FI, then just let him be. Also..he has you. Some ppl just have trouble making friends. Include him in your social circle and don’t constantly remind him he has to make friends. Having a big group of friends isn’t everything. Usually, in the end, the people who stand by you are family anyways.

Post # 15
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Antique Rose Emporium

My fiancé is like this too! He went to a very large university and didn’t make a single friend the entire time he was there…he just hung out with 3 guys that also went to that school all from his same small hometown. Now we’re done with school and everyone parted ways. He doesn’t even text them! Our wedding is 9 months asay so he does have time to reconnect, but then there’s the issue of it being a destination wedding 2,000 miles away. Sigh. So I’ll have my sisters and BFF as bridesmaids and he’ll have…no one. :/

Like y’all’s fiancés he says he doesn’t mind, but I do. I worry because if I didn’t have *my* friends I’d go crazy if FI Couldn’t be there for me and then I had no friends to turn to, either. But…thats my babe. That’s how he is and I love him completely. I can’t make him change, he has to want to. Until then I can only support him and maybe gently nudge him once in a while 😉

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