My fiance doesnt want to be with me anymore

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he’s saying and showing you that he cares about you but he doesn’t want to get married/commit. Would you be ok with your relationship if you never get married? I would make a choice now – walk away now or wait and see what he says if you don’t want to get married.

Post # 4
724 posts
Busy bee

He’s manipulating you. Whether he’s even aware of it or not.

He’s 41 years old, and telling you that he needs to figure out what he’s going to do with his life. He has proposed marriage, and then told you he worries about cheating, and follows-up with telling you how miserable he’ll be without you.

To me, that says he likes what he’s doing: courting a younger woman. And it seems like he has every intention of continuing to do that, whether you are that woman or not.

I am so angry for you. I’m so, so sorry that your heart is being yanked in two ways.

Post # 5
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

He sounds manipulating. It seems he doesn’t want to settle down, but he’s scared if he tells you he’ll lose you. So he just keeps you hovering in limbo until you either get bored and leave or decide to stay with him forever without any commitment. I urge you to do the former rather than the latter.

Has he ever shown this kind of cowardice before?

Post # 6
980 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry that youre so down about all this but it sounds like you’ve dodged abullet. He has given you an out here, I think you should take it and run. He sounds like he’s just in it for the sex/to be with a younger woman. I’m sorry but he’s shown how foul he can be. Don’t ignore it. 

Post # 7
573 posts
Busy bee

Aw my dear, he sounds very confused. Actions speak louder than words so observe those more…what is he telling you with just his actions? From the info we have I just don’t think he can go with marriage but he messed up by proposing to you. 

Post # 11
929 posts
Busy bee

@makeorbreak:  Getting your own place is wise. He’s a 41yr old commitment-phobe. You deserve better. Walk away and don’t look back. 

Post # 15
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Like you have said, he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.  He doesn’t want you to be around.  He’s being obnoxious so you get the message and leave as soon as possible.  The gifts are because he is feeling slightly guilty.  But only slightly.

He sounds pretty childish for a 41 year old man.  I’m 45, my FI is 43, and if he acted like this he’d be gone.  I’m too old now to put up with cowards.

Do yourself a favour and get out as soon as you can, even if it means sleeping on a friend’s floor or couch for a couple of weeks. 

Post # 16
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@makeorbreak:  He sounds incredibly immature. A 41 year old man shouldn’t be behaving this way. I suspect this is why he dates significantly younger women. You shouldn’t have to worry about him and his commitment to you every second. I think you can do and deserve better. Much better.

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