My Fiance has called off our wedding weeks before! computer messed up couldnt fi

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So sorry you’re gong through this. I can’t even imagine the pain you must be feeling. My heart goes out to you. 

Post # 4
Member
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh my. I’ve got no words of wisdom to give to you, but I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

*Hugs*

I’m so sorry.

At least he did this before the wedding. Months from now you wil be relieved that at least you don’t have to go through a messy divorce on top of everything you’re going through right now.

I think that with time you’ll get some clarity. Right now you just need to focus on yourself, and take some time to grieve. Lean on your family and friends. HUGS!!

Post # 7
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Please take this question in the spirit I mean it but does he have some type of emotional or mental issues? That kind of reactio seems extremely irrational and doesnt make a bit of sense. 

I cannot imagine the emotional shock you are in right now and I can imagine the physical pain this is causing you. WOW. I am truly sorry to hear you are going thru this and I hope something gives ASAP so you can find some peace and a resolution to all of this…

Post # 9
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Crystalclear89:  I know, this has to be a massive shock 🙁

I hope that you get some answers. It WILL be ok, though. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but if this is what happens when things get tough, it’s probably a good thing he did this now vs. later when there’s kids etc.

I have heard of this sort of thing happening before. Only he knows why he decided to do this. Maybe the pressure was too much, even if he created it himself.

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Crystalclear89:  That is so hard and I pray for your strength as you go through this! I hope you give yourself tons of time to heal 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh sweetheart, I do feel for you. What an awful, devastating blow and made all the worse by his cowardly disappearing act. It’s simply not fair that you are the one left trying to answer all the unanswerable questions.

What I would say, and I realise that this may be hard to accept right now, is that in the long run, you may look back at this and realise you’ve had a narrow escape from what would most likely have been a short and very unhappy marriage.

His behaviour in recent months suggests that he was having serious cold feet and it would have been very much kinder (and cheaper!) if he’d expressed his doubts much earlier on. Not waited until the last minute. 

Post # 15
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I can’t not exactly relate, but can relate to the heart break. I was engaged before and we got pregnant shorty after so put wedding plans on hold. Long story short the morning my son was born no one could get ahold of him. He came later that day and the next day when we were doing all the bc paperwork he said he just needed think and was going to get lunch and we would sign everything when he got back. I heard from him 3 days later, all the details don’t matter but he had been cheating on me And couldn’t decide what he wanted. I remember the pain that you are feeling, I would get sick thinking about him, replay everything, it was so hard to focus on anything I just felt so broken. I promise it does get better.

dont judge yourself for how you are feeling, no feelings are wrong or right, they are just feelings and you have every right to them. Lean on those people that are close to you. I had to go out of town for a couple weeks because every aw here I went brought back some memory of us. I also had to put up boundaries and ask friends not talk ask me about him or talk about him. I know they were trying to be helpful but it pulled me further down to always be remindef of him and I didn’t want to leave the house because of it. It’s a process but slowly you feel better, one day I reliesed that I hadn’t thought about him or the situation in a while. 

i have moved, met my now future hubbie and have a good life. But there are still times I’m remimimed of the pain, like when I read your post my eyes teared up so I wanted to post and give you some love and hope. I’m also starting to see a therapist next week. I thought I had gotten over everything but in my new relationship I still react in a way that respesents my past instead of reacting to whats happening today. I think I still my SO at a distance because I’m scared to go through that pain again but I’m going to lose him Doug that. So please give a new man a chance when the time is right and don’t punish him for what this man did to you.

if you need anything, even just vent please let me know

Post # 16
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@Crystalclear89:  OMG i am so sorry!! That is heart breaking. Hopefully he will give you some explanation other than cold feet.

Sounds like something more could be going on here, but if he really isn’t ready at least he is being honest rather than after the wedding. Are you guys in communication at all?

I am so sorry! Sounds like you need a mini- vacation to think things through.

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