Weddingbee boards

A few weeks ago, my fiance and I went to his cousin's wedding. Everything went as planned...we helped with decorations, lit candles, un-froze punch, and finally sat down together in the ceremony. Of course everything went seemlessly, until the bride started walking down the aisle. I couldn't tell from the front of the church, but her dress seemed oddly familiar. When she finally got to the alter and we were seated, my FI turned to me and whispered, "******'s dress is ugly."

Little did he know that her dress is the same as MY dress! Granted, a terribly done knockoff of my dress, but my dress all the same. I was completely brokenhearted. I texted his mom after the wedding, nearly hyperventilating trying to tell the news. She talked to me for a long time about it later and convinced me (temporarily) that it was okay.

For the last couple of months now, I've been quietly trying to convince myself that he wouldn't be able to tell that our dresses are alike and that it would be okay. That is...until last night. He and I were talking on Facebook, and he mentioned looking at his cousin's photos, saying that the dress looker better than he thought! I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and we moved on to talking about my shoes and whether or not they would go with my dress. I vaguely mentioned that my shoes didn't have to be elaborate because my dress had enough happening!

Then he said, "As long as you stay away from Meredith's dress, you'll be fine! ;)" And then sent me a picture of a dress he did like.

That, fellow bees, is when the floodgates opened. I started E-yelling about how, "What if my dress was like hers?" "What would I do about it now?" I probably confused him to death wondering why I was yelling at him for no good reason. He got offline, and I cried and cried and cried, and then after I had cried some more, I texted him to tell him I was going to send him a picture of my dress. He was shocked and told me, "No way!" Then it dawned on him...he had said something horribly wrong.

Of course he came over later to find me lying in a bed of my own sad, sad heartbrokenness (and tissues). He was very good about consoling me and telling me that he was sorry and it didn't matter...but something is still keeping me from getting over it. Maybe it's the fact that he basically knows what my dress looks like before I ever got the chance to wear it. Maybe it's that some part of me is still scared that even though there are differences in our dresses, that he will dislike mine as much as hers. Either way, I'm at a loss.

He wants me to keep my dress because it is a representation of who I am, and that is who he loves. If I get another dress, it won't be me. He told me that he would be sad if I chose to get a new one based on the fact that he didn't like a bad knockoff version of mine. But...I hate knowing that he won't be surprised at all when he sees me in my dress for the first time.

To get a new dress, to not get a new dress? That is the question.

Let me tell you a story.....

I was a "fluffy" bride.  Prior to my wedding I purchased a dress off ebay because I just didn't want to endure going to a store to try them on.  For months prior to the wedding I stressed and worried because I thought my dress wasn't special enough to me and wasn't pretty enough because I "settled".  Everyone around me assured me that I was pretty in my dress and I was so unsure. Til the day of the wedding.

I came down the aisle in my cupcake dress to a smiling groom.  We proceeded through the ceremony and after the unity candle we leaned at the altar. My husband leaned over and whispered to me that I was so beautiful.  That is my absolute favorite memory of the day. He later told me it had nothing to  do with my dress but was my face and the glow. 

My point--if you love your dress, feel good in the dress, and are thrilled on your wedding day all he will see is you and think you are beautiful.  You could probably wear a sack and he would still think you are the most gorgeous woman on earth and be the proudest man that gets to marry you. 

Wishing you luck!!

@mgray002:  You're forgetting one thing...he's a guy! Odds are, he's not going to remember!  Your wedding is still almost a year away so when he sees you walking down the aisle towards him, he will be in awe of how absolutely radiant and beautiful you are and in the excitement of it all, nothing else will matter.  It will be as if he is seeing it for the first time and I'm sure you are going to take his breath away!! 

Thank you SO much everyone for your posts with all of the helpful advice, honesty, and encouragement. You guys made me cry - you know I'm all emotional these days ;) I'd like to mention that we're spending the weekend with the cousin, and it's kind of like salt on a wound. Sigh.

I know many of you asked to see a picture of the other dress, so here it is:

If you can tell, the neckline and beadwork are about exactly the same. The fit is the same....the only HUGE difference is the HUGE amount of lace underlay happening on hers.

I grilled my FMIL and FI to figure out what exactly he didn't like about it, and he said 1. She's too broad shouldered for it. 2. The lace looks "out of place" and "cheap".

First of all, impressed that he knows the difference between cheap-looking and not cheap-looking lace. Second, this...is good news, for me, I think. I took advice from @Dancy905 and decided to talk to my FMIL about it. She assured me that she would NEVER have let me get my dress if it didn't look fabulous. She also reminded me of something she said at the bridal boutique where I got it. She said, "This dress makes you look 6 feet tall and your waist 2 inches wide!" :D (Did I mention I completely have the best FMIL ever?!)

Her advice for me was to take my new shoes and veil back to the bridal shop and try my dress on to rekindle the feeling I had when I fell in love with it the first time.

I think...she's right. Before I make any rash decision like getting a new dress, I need to make sure that this isn't the one anymore. SO, as soon as my lovely plum heels come in, I'm going to go straight there and see what happens.

You guys asked if our body types are different: and yes, they are. She is super tall, I'm 5'5. She's an apple. I'm a pear. Maybe this makes a difference, maybe not, but I'll be asking for your input soon.

Once I get back from trying it on, I'll post a picture and you guys can help me decide the fate of my dress.

I like it, too! Obviously, from our similar choices. Which means, needless to say, his comment really got to me, too! (But in my FI's defense, before all of the drama he did take his comment back about it being ugly after he saw these pictures) Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of the dress head-on for you to really see the similarities. But I can say that head-on it looks nearly identical apart from more lace showing.

The picture he sent was of a gown with a fuller skirt, princess-y with lots of pickups.