My fiancé won't go down on me!

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As someone on the reverse of this… I absolutely despise giving blowjobs…. it has nothing to do with attractiveness. Sex is like water, it ebbs and flows and sometimes things we used to enjoy just don’t do it anymore, or sometimes we do it just because the other person likes it.

Maybe he just doesn’t like going down on you. Maybe he did it before because he knew you liked it but has gotten comfortable not doing it.

I hate giving blowjobs. hate it. Absolutely hate it. If I can avoid it, I will. I love my husband very dearly and I am irristably attracted to him, but putting my face on his wing wang does nothing for me and makes me kind of squicked out.

I wouldn’t take it too personally. We all need to compromise sometimes, and maybe you should just talk to him and see what’s up. If he doesn’t enjoy doing it, I wouldn’t ask him to unless he feels like doing it. He’s attracted to you, or else he wouldn’t be intimate at all with you.

Post # 4
44 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would just talk to him honestly. Let him know you think it would be fun if he went down on you. And let him know you’ll return the favor. Thankfully I do not have this problem. My FI does this quite frequently of his own volition and I do the same for him. Only time I don’t like it is if one of us has been at work all day or it’s hot and sweaty… A quick shower (togeher maybe? ;)) will fix that problem though. Good luck!

Post # 6
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um? A case of his favorite beer or bourbon?

But seriously, I’d ask him why he’s stopped. And let him know that you’d appreciate if it went back on the rotation. See if  there’s anything new that he’d like to try.

Post # 7
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@2beemrs:  Have you talked with him about it? Why doesn’t he go down on you? For some poeple, this would be a deal breaker but for others it’s no big deal. One of my friends hates receiving oral sex, so she’d be thrilled. Me on teh other hand? I’d be buying him his favorite alcoholic beverage!

Post # 8
641 posts
Busy bee

I’d say ask him. There are a lot of reasons he may not be traveling down under, but honestly, it’s selfish for him to eagerly receive his blowjobs and then refuse to reciprocate. If something changed about your odor or flavor, you can try to track down the timeline and think on if your dietary habits changed (I know I taste different in the summer when I eat a lot of plants.) But if he just figured he doesn’t feel like it anymore, he’s going to have to suck it up buttercup.

Post # 9
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, Drunk is good…

As @JenGirl: said, time to shill out for a CASE of Beer or Bourbon

ok all kidding aside…

The other Bees have laid out some very distinct possibilities.

My best guess is that not so much that something has changed “down under” as your Relationship with one another has changed above the covers !!

Men can be a lot like women when it comes to oral… not everyone enjoys giving it.  BUT a lot of people will put in their repertoire in the earlier part of a relationship because it is considered to be such a requirement in a healthy sexual relationship nowadays (not so true in my Mother’s or Grandmother’s day)

He liked you, he wanted you to see him “as a contender”…

Now that you two are more comfy / real with one another, this element has fallen off the menu because it wasn’t a favourite of the Chef … altho the Patrons enjoyed it immensely

The Chef only makes it now on Special Occasions… or when he’s in the mood.

You guys probably could benefit from a talk about it…

BUT I warn you… if he gets into outright saying WHY he doesn’t like it his words about your intimate bits are going to make you probably unhappy, uncomfortable, and paranoid.

Because if the Chef isn’t crazy about Eggplant cause of its look, flavour or texture… it is going to be very difficult to convince him otherwise, and that it needs to be on the Menu more often !!

If I were you… I’d just let it be… stop worrying about it… and buy the Chef a lot of Cooking Cognac and hope that he takes the hint now and again.

At least you are getting some… that is better than none IMO… or having a HUGE Row about this (cause words were spoken, and someone got their feelings hurt) that will impact other parts of your Relationship as well.


Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My DH also refuses. We have been together over 7 years, and he has done it once, when he was drunk. No matter how drunk he gets now, I’ve wont do it. It grosses him out no matter how fresh my lady bits are. 


Post # 11
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Get him drunk more often 😀

Seriously, let him know how much you like it!

Post # 12
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t go down on him. See how he likes it! Lol

Talk to him about it and ask him why he won’t abd what you can do to get him to abd express how important it is to you.

Post # 13
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Jamieg:  Add me to this club. My hubs hates it. And its a very sore topic. :/

Post # 14
4729 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d stop the BJ’s. 😉

Post # 15
2311 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i don’t mind giving BJs to DH. But I do NOT like him going down on me. Something abt someone’s tongue that close to my MOST SENSITIVE parts just FREAKS ME OUT. I am also one of those maniacs who think they will get a yeast infection (which IS possible to get by him goin’ down on you from the bateria in his mouth). 

And worst of all, I don’t actually enjoy the sensation no matter how soft OR hard. It’s no just DH. I never even liked it when my prevous bfs did it. I don’t think it’s them. It’s ME. I am the only one whose fingers can ‘work the magic’ so to speak. I don’t like anyone else down there. Period. *vent over!*

Post # 16
265 posts
Helper bee

My FI has only gone down on my twice.  Both of those times were early on in our relationship.  I had asked for it back then, and I just thought that he might continue obliging me.  I’m thinking that mine might not like going down on me because I don’t shave down there.  Of course, he also doesn’t ask me for blow jobs.  He doesn’t mind if I spontaneously want to give him one, but he never asks for one.  

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors