- 2 years ago
Hello All. I was hoping to find some advice or clarity here. Here’s our story. My brother passed away from a long battle with colon cancer in January of this year. He was 33 years old. After it happened it was so lost and so angry and so so sad. My fiancee and I were in the middle of planning our wedding at this time and we both decided that it was best to reschedule. My brother and I were very close and he was to walk me down the isle on our wedding day. Unfortunatley, I did not feel that my fiancee was supportive to me during this terribly difficult time. I felt as though he was trying to fix me and when realized he could not he just became frustrated when I would get upset. A few months later after our families (mostly his) were pressing us as to when we would set a new date we decided to get married in October of this year. I wanted us to wait until next year but he felt that it would give me a happy event to focus on. So, I finally agreed. We booked the venue, put down a deposit and went full steam ahead. All the while every time I thought about each detail it was a constant reminder that my brother would not be there. His parents became increasingly overbearing about each detail. The two of us agreed it would be a small, simple yet elegant affair. In order to keep things simple we decided we would not have a rehearsal dinner. When his parents got wind of that they kept insisting that we should have one. Finally, I gave in so I did not have to deal with the pressure anymore. At this point, I was so stressed out that everytime I thought of the wedding I would cry. I asked my fiancee to please tell them to back of a little bit as I was still trying to recover from the most painful time of my life. He did ask them and they did back off a bit, but just resumed with their foreceful attitude later on. They even insisted that my fiancee wear a kilt to our wedding! During all of this all we did was fight and argue. It finally just got to a point where he called off the wedding. He inforned my mother and his mothher before me that he was planning on calling off the wedding! Everything has been cancelled now. I do still want to work things out with him but he keeps changing his mind from day to day. One day he decides that we can work things out, the next that he still wants to go on with the wedding as planned, the next that he wants me to move out. We have been together for 7 years. We went to see a couples counselor and I thought it went really well, but our conselor focused alot on his family issues. Now because of this he does not want to go back because he says it stirs up alot of old emotions that he has towards his family. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.