(Closed) My Fiance’s Family :-(

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You guys have some time. Try this:

1) Figure out the number of people you want to invite (ballpark)

2) Get a venue you love that would accomodate that size or greater

3) Calculate what you can afford at said venue

4) Finalize the guest list

 

As for the family issue… it sucks, but if the reality of the situation is that they will not support your FI, then there’s not much you can do. You can’t change people. You can just invite them and hope they’ll make the right decision.

 

Post # 4
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Focus more on your fiance’s friends.  People don’t have to be blood to be family, so just make sure that everyone who loves your fiance will be there 🙂

Post # 5
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Our guest list is heavily weighted to my fiance’s family’s side.  At first I was feeling really really not okay with it.  But then I realized that it was for the best that I wouldn’t have people there from my family who I don’t have a good relationship with because who wants those negative vibes at a wedding?  Also, my fiance’s family is super nice and are all more like family to me than my own extended family, so it will still be a super happy experience because it will be filled with the people who care about us.  I’m sure your wedding will be the same!  

Post # 6
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d rather look out and see 10 amazing friends and family members looking back at me with smiles on their faces than 100 people I only sorta know who just want to hurry up and get to the open bar.

I feel for your/your fiances situation but here’s what I think you should consider:  Set your guest count.  Invite whomever you want.  Don’t have assigned seating for the bride and groom.  Have your ushers just put people evenly on sides if that’s a concern of yours.  I can guarantee that you probably won’t be focusing on who’s out there more than you’ll be focusing on the fact that you’re getting married 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Renee1023: Hopefully he will shift his perspective to see what a wonderful family he’s gaining, though.

Post # 10
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is similar to my situation, but switched. And to be honest, I’m kinda used to not doing family activities and having family attend events. The people who I never see I barely even know their names; so its not really that much of an emotional loss. He might feel the same way. Even if it is a little disapointing, he would probably like his friends there more than some family member he has met twice.

Post # 11
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sort of dealing with the same thing, my fiance is on really bad terms with his father and as a result doesn’t get to see his family much.  We can’t even count on them coming to the wedding.  I have a huge extended family so the guest list is really lopsided.  Ultimately we decided to add a bunch of his friends from across the country, so hopefully his side will have a little more representation (though it will still likely be a 70/30 split).  My family is very loving and welcoming, so I try to get him to focus on that!  I like to think that when the day comes we’ll be so surrounded by love and joy that we don’t mind the absence.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Edited: you already answered it!

Post # 13
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aw *hugs* I felt bad bc we’re having it near fiances home n alot of my fam n friends cant make it but I got over it bc I measured by amount of love on my side not guestlist size 😉 gl!!

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