- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
This is my first post, and It’s going to be a long one, so please bear with me.
I have worked in the hospitality industry for over three years, and I have worked on at least a hundred weddings. Because of this, I have seen the ridiculous amount of excess involved in the wedding business. I never wanted a big wedding, and I promised myself I’d never get wrapped up in something that is so fleeting. What I do want is a unique and creative reception with delicious food.
Because of the recession, we are relying on the generous offers of our respective parents to help us pay for the celebration. When we decided to go ahead and plan our wedding, I did my research (Bridal Bargains!). I found out that off-season weddings were cheaper. I also read that renting a space and brining in separate catering was more economical that the wedding "packages" offered by many hotels and banquet halls.
With the words "unique" and "budget" in my head, I decided to contact a small theater company in my city who owns a small parish hall near my house. My fiance and I went to look at the hall, and found it to be a little small and kind of boring. Then we were shown to the theater itself, which has a beautiful brick interior and happens to be the oldest standing theater in Cleveland. We both (so I thought) fell in LOVE with the place, and my contact there was willing to give us the space for $2000 (he originally said $2400), which includes Friday night setup, all day Saturday, and Sunday cleanup. It’s more that I was hoping to spend, but it’s got a free sound system, all the tables we need, and we may even get some free lighting.
We decided on this venue over a month ago, and I was ready to put down a deposit until my fiance’s father started making "suggestions". My fiance’s family is HUGE, and his father wanted to invite over 50 more people than our original total of 85, including friends of his. He said he was willing to pay for all of the extra dinners, but the theater only holds 110 people max. So then he "suggested" that we try a banquet hall with a caterer that is a "friend" of his, instead of the theater. He told my fiance that the theater is too expensive, but that makes no sense because it would cost even more to feed all the people he wants to invite! My family is small and his family is already getting over 70% of the invites.
I feel like my FFIL is trying to turn our wedding into his personal family reunion and he’s being passive aggressive about it. My fiance feels caught in the middle and just wants everyone to be happy, but I feel like he’s making me the scapegoat so his father won’t be mad at him. I’m going to do all the work planning this wedding if I can’t have it at the venue I want. I have already put a lot of work into this and his family is acting like I don’t know what I’m doing.
When I explained everything to my mother, she said she won’t contribute anything to the wedding if it’s not what I want, but will pay for the whole thing if I do it my way. My mother doesn’t care what I do, as long as I don’t spend too much money. The parents haven’t met each other yet, but we’re supposed to get everyone together around mother’s day. This is a disaster in the making!