My fiance`s sisters dropped out of my bridal party 3 months before the wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

@NJstateofmind:  There seems to be a lot more going on here…there’s something missing for them to be reacting like this out of nowhere.

Post # 4
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@NJstateofmind:  You absolutely invite them unless you want to be hated by his family forever. Sorry, thats exactly what will happen if you exclude them. Why on earth would your FI cuss out his sisters over this? Is it really that big of a deal if they don’t come to your bridal shower? I am totally on the side that bridesmaids should try and help out beyond showing up but you can’t MAKE anyone and if they don’t want to do anything but by the dress and attend the wedding then that will just make them look bad BUT now that you and your FI have reacted this way you two are the ones that come out looking poorly. I would have your FI call and apologize, explain he is hurt that the sister retaliated by saying mean things about your relationship. If she apologizes reoffer her in the wedding,if not they still get an invite. If they dont come again it just makes them look bad but if you dont invite them you come out worse. 

Post # 7
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow! That’s a lot to deal with. Unfortunately there is very little you can do about someone else’s behavior. Hold your head up high, enjoy your bachelorette/shower without them.

Send them invitations to the wedding. You don’t need to alienate the rest of the family. Having a a wonderful wedding without them in the weding party will be the best revenge.

Post # 8
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@NJstateofmind:  I wouldn’t invite anyone who bad talked me, bailed on me and then deleted me. If your fiancé wants them to come, then let him invite them and cross your fingers they decline. People are so selfish, it is sad. Their brother gets married so often right? Ugh…

Post # 9
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@NJstateofmind:  I don’t know, to me, them not being able to make the bridal shower/bachelorette party shouldn’t have been that big of a deal for your husband to call and nag them. I also have a feeling that they already weren’t that happy to be involved in the wedding in the first place, which is why they bailed on the bridal shower and why they decided to drop out. Sounds like you guys have some bad blood.

Post # 10
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@soinlove79:  I agree with this– I wouldn’t extend an invitation to anyone who felt I shouldn’t be getting married. What’s the point in them being there then?

Post # 11
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

They’re family and while they are all acting like children, they still get invitations to the wedding.  Honestly, it’s better that they bowed out now rather than days before the wedding or worse, acted like total bee-yatches at the wedding.  It sounds like they were excited to be asked to be in the bridal party but they didn’t want to deal with the reality of actually being bridesmaids.  You and your husband ned to set up a meeting with everyone and let everyone hash out what is going on here because it seems like a lot more than just a dispute over bachelorette/shower dates.

Post # 12
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

There has to be more to this.  Seems like they are over reacting to a small issue.   I would invite them to the wedding.  I would have FI talk to his parents, they may know more of what is going on and intervene.  I know blood before water but it’s  there sons wedding so maybe they can figure this out.  

After you talk to the parents I would send them both letters/emails inviting them to all still be in the wedding, say you want to get past this entire thing, you want this to be the start to one big happy family.  Then you’ve done what you can do. 

In their defense if they are busy those days they are busy, your busy too.  

Post # 13
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

@LDay1983:  agreed. I think this is more than just miscommunication about party dates…

Post # 14
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Send them invitations to your wedding. Find new bridal party members or not. When you finanlly have a bridal shower their is no need to invite the sisters.

Post # 15
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NJstateofmind:  I agree there seems to be something else going on. But anyway:

1. They were not obliged to attend the bridal shower and bach. party. The one who is 6-8 hours away certainly doesn’t need to attend. (I hope no one was telling her she had to attend!).

2. Invite them to the wedding anyway. They’re your fiance’s sisters.

Post # 16
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This is very odd. Did they buy bridesmaid dresses yet? Why did the events have to be in April? And why with onl 3 months notice? My events have been planned for June and August 2014 since Sept 2013. 

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