(Closed) My FILs are crazy

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hopefully this was one insane outburst! Stick to your guns, and next time he gets RIDICULOUS like that, simply say, “i can’t talk to you right now” and walk away. Nobody needs to stand there for 2 hours and listen to that.

Post # 4
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am glad you feel better and I am so sorry it has come down to that. I do understand your position. I considered hiring babysitters, but it is very costly. So, even though I didn’t want it to come to this, if people bring their children, well they are going to have to watch over them themselves. I am providing kid baskets to hopefully help entertain them, but that is as far as I can go.

I know that was upsetting and no one should have to stand for getting yelled at for 2 hours. However, I will point out, this is going to be your family now too. I’d like to think this was an isolated occasion, but if I were you, I’d get prepared for having to deal with situations like this in the future as well.   

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry. I had a similar situation occur with my FIL/SIL. He might as well have reached across the table and slapped me in the face, with how he spoke to me. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you will never forget and what was a nice relationship is completed soured. Time does make holding your tongue about what happened easier. I would wait to say anything until you feel you are past any anger, or you may say something you end up regretting. It sounds like your FI is very supportive.

I have to say this to myself at least once a week (between our two crazy sets of parents): We are the family now. Me and him, and whatever babies come. The rest of them are relatives. And while we can love and support them, nothing in the world matters more than protecting your family. While externally not much has changed about our interaction with ILs, emotionally it is a very effective shield. 

Post # 6
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Woah, I understand your fiance being scared but he absolutely should’ve handled that situation. You are his future wife -he shouldn’t let anyone speak to you in that way. Especially his freaking family.

Sorry sweetie, but I would’ve had both of those boys asses on a skewer. That’s insane.

This would’ve been the perfect opportunity for your FH to establish some boundaries with his family.

I’ve had a lot of people be extremely mad about the no kids rule at our ceremony as well. I don’t think that people understand the added cost when you start throwing 40 more people under the age of 12 onto your already overflowing guest list.

This day is about you and your FH -don’t let anyone cloud that.

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