Post # 1
I know I’m being ridiculous, hence the “bridezilla” self-title. 😛
So I’ve already picked out my wedding dress (it’s a traditional Vietnamese dress). I love the color red, which also happens to be the traditional color, and the simplicity of the style. My mother and aunts already picked out theirs too but they are now changing their minds and saying that theirs are too plain and wanted something more flashy, and I mean bolder colors (like bright orange) and applique and rhinestones, etc. I know that I’m the only one wearing red, and red is bold too, but I can’t help but feel that I will be overshadowed by all of the other glitzy dresses. I also know it’s unreasonable to tell them what color to wear, and I don’t want them to wear some dull sad colors either. I am not one to hoard the spotlight, but I also want to feel special on my wedding day!
For references, these are the fabrics they’re looking at:
And this is the style of my dress:
My fears are ungrounded, I know that everyone will look at me and know that I’m the bride, but why am I feeling insecure?! Have you ever experienced something like this?
Post # 2
You want to be the only one that really stands out on your wedding day. Typically mothers wear neutral colors because of this. So I totally get why you feel this way. Maybe you can compromise and tell them they can still be all glammed up but with a softer color. Like a light pink, soft blue, mint green, gold, champagne, or silver, etc. They can still have all the glitter and rhinestones and whatever, but with a more subtle color. You think they would go for that?
Post # 3
GrassHouse: Hi to fellow October and Vietnamese bride! I had a slight bridezilla moment about my mom’s ao dai, but for the opposite reason since she chose white pants with super pale yellow/almost ivory lace pattern, which is somewhat similar to my wedding dress.
My first gut reaction was, “I don’t think you should’ve picked that”, but in the end, I would never care if someone wore my color and she obviously picked them because she liked it, so there’s no reason to take that away from her.
I completely understand how you feel though and it’s hard to tell an elder what not to wear in our culture. I would let them pick whatever they want since I think they’re just wanting to look extra special for such an important occasion, and I wouldn’t worry about not standing out since all the attention will be mainly focused on you. Plus, think of how awesome your photos are going to look with all those colors, and I’m sure you’ll be adorned with some nice jewelry that’ll out-bling anything your mom and aunts will wear. 😉
BTW, your dress is gorgeous! It makes me wish we were doing a traditional Vietnamese ceremony so I could wear an ao dai, but logistics prevented us from doing so. I can’t wait to see photos if you post a recap!
Post # 4
GrassHouse: My only bridezilla moment so far has come when speaking to a friend regarding my bridal shower. I had asked not to be included in any kind of discussion, but she was asking what type of theme or things I would want. I figured it was still a little early, but humored her and we starting throwing out ideas. I mentioned that that only things I liked were something like Shabby Chic. Conversation ended. Much later, it occured to me that my wedding was kind of “Shabby Chic” already and shared several elements. Again, I decided not to worry about it because we had so much time. Cut to a week or so later when she started mentioning that she wanted to use her mother’s mismatched china at my bridal shower. Now, everyone involved in my wedding knows that I am collecting mismatched china for the wedding. This has been the plan since even before the engagement. I tried to explain why I didn’t like the idea, but she started getting defensive. Eventually, I just had to firmly say no and she called me a bridezilla. It blew over, and even though I don’t think I was being one, I kind of had to demand she not do certain things at the shower I wanted no part in planning in the first place.
Post # 5
vip0802: And we also live nearby each other! What is your date? I’m October 4. 🙂
OMG, we can’t be disrespectful to the elders, right? I’ve been in the states for half my life but I still have the traditions/culture ingrained in me. The ladies really wanted to look their best at my wedding, which I understand, and I want them to be happy, that’s why I’m not saying anything. I know in the end it won’t matter, I’m just annoyed at the moment that they only think about themselves.
IzzyBear: Your suggestion sounds reasonable, but I just felt that I shouldn’t even have to ask in the first place! It’s too late anyway since they already ordered the dresses. 🙁
Post # 6
GrassHouse: Oh wow, you’re in NoVA! My parents live there too. I’m assuming you know Eden Center – I go every 2 weeks or so to visit my mom since she had a jewelry shop there (just recently retired and sold the store to someone else). Mine is October 11th. 🙂
God forbid you ever do anything your way because you might disrespect the elders or guests may talk behind your family’s back. Lol! It was really hard to convince my mom that no one would speak ill of her, my dad, or myself if we did NOT having the reception at a Chinese banquet hall since I have some guests with food issues, and I wanted it to be comfortable for everyone. I mean some of these Asian guests go to so many Vietnamese/Chinese weddings a year that I don’t think it’ll kill them to enjoy beef tenderloin instead of abalone for one night.
Anyway, I totally understand how annoying it must be. I have aunts (and you know what I mean when I say “aunts” are real aunts, friends of my parents, distant relatives, etc…) that are similar to yours and who just want to outshine other people. It sounds weird, but I’m glad you’re not going to say anything to them. I feel like it would cause unwanted drama that you definitely don’t need, but I promise it’ll still be your day.
Feel free to message me if you need to vent about anything. I’m sure we could swap stories for hours about the joys of planning a wedding with a Vietnamese family!