(Closed) My first dose of wedding drama…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law really wanted my Future Sister-In-Law as a bm but I went against it. Its your wedding, your choice. No ifs ands or buts about it. Do what you want or you will regret it. 

Post # 4
8696 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Exactly what @MissEMich:  said! Its your day, your wedding, your bridal party. I would tell her that you have already decided and that’s it. My Fiance just went through this today with my Future Mother-In-Law trying to dictate who he has as his best man.

Post # 5
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Date twins!!

Anyway — I haven’t had t deal with this (yet), but have you talked to your FI?  How does he feel & what has he said to his family about it?  The only thing I can think of is capping your bridal party at a certain number – and, unless you have a sister or someone iny our family you are SUPER close to, keep it at all friends.  This way you’re not playing favorite — it’s kind of all or nothing.  FWIW, I don’t think someone needs to be in the bridal party just because they are related/are going to be related.  There’s other ways to get the others involved: readings, ushers/escorts,etc.

Post # 6
3588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@thefuturemrsD:  With 15 people in your bridal party and family members who apparently like to stir it up* you are going to have plenty of drama, get geared up for it.


*your FI’s mother didn’t have to tell you about how “upset” her sister was because it just doens’t matter. She could have stopped the drama at her end. So if this is how she act, presumably that’s what goes on in this family.

Post # 7
47 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

seriously its your day!! don’t let anybody but you and your fiancee make decisions, if nobody else is helping pay the bill then why are they even bothering you..  

Post # 8
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@thefuturemrsD: Remember this and use it often:  (smile) “Thank you. I will consider that.” And then promptly forget whatever was said.

And I find it ridiculous that these young women were sad they weren’t asked. I mean, really??

Post # 10
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s your wedding and your bridal party! Put your foot down now or you’re going to have one major rollercoaster ride until your wedding! Good luck and stay strong!

Post # 11
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

It is your day and they have to understand that. You can’t have EVERYONE be in the wedding party. Besides, they are his cousins which is way different than you asking your cousins. You choose your bridesmaids, he chooses his groomsmen.. I am sure you have male cousins and your family isn’t harrasing him about asking them!! My Future Mother-In-Law was a little uspet because she thought I should have asked my Future Sister-In-Law (her daughter) and my FBIL’s fiance (her son’s fiance) to be in my wedding party but my Fiance and I refused to do more than 3 bridesmaids and groosmen per person. I choose my two best friends from college who have been there for me through everything and my cousin who has been more like a sister. I am not close with his sister or brother’s Fiance (in fact, sometimes I can’t stand them), He understood but his mom didn’t understand. She thought that because my Fiance has his brother as a groomsmen, I should have asked his sister and brother’s Fiance. But ultimately, she has to respect and get over it because its MY decision. 

Post # 12
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You already know what the answer is. I mean you already have 15, how many could there possibly be? You SHOULD have some BMs consisting of those nearest to your heart and not be upset over “obligatory” BMs. Even more so since you and Fiance are footing the bill. It is virtually impossible to make everyone happy, so please, make yourselves happy on your wedding day!

Post # 13
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

When your fiance got the phone call from his mother (on behalf of his aunt), why didn’t Fiance tell her to butt out?

(And I find it very telling that these cousins don’t even know Fiance well enough (let alone you) to complain directly).

You shouldn’t need to do anything. They are FI’s family, he needs to tell them the answer is no.

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