My first faux pas *sigh*

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

Although they felt uncomfortable, I’m sure they realize you were coming from a good place and didn’t mean anything bad by it! Maybe stick to your original ideas for them 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

IMO, it was rude of them to a) not respond, and b) be offended that you wanted to know what THEY would like. Some people change after kids, some don’t.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

You only asked twice, I wouldn’t feel too bad!

I just got my girls Amethyst pendants and DH got his guys cufflinks.

So you’re already doing better than I did!

Post # 7
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That’s a fine line there… yeah, you probably shouldn’t pester people or ask them to pick out their own gifts.  That does make some people uncomfortable.  But some people are totally cool with saying “you don’t need to get us anything but we could really us a night out to a movie or our favorite Italian place…”  They could have at least responded, not made the situation worse but clamming up, making you ask again, making them more uncomfortable, etc, etc.

Don’t sweat it. 

Post # 9
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@icanhearyousmile:  Aww, I think they took your question a little personally.  I mean, I agree that I hate people asking me, “What kind of gift do you want?” because I *never* know what to say.  This includes my mom asking me what I want for Christmas!  But on the other hand, it’s reasonable that you weren’t sure they’d be able to enjoy something like a trip to the movies or a fancy restaurant.  If I’d just had a baby, I wouldn’t want someone to buy me a gift card to the leather-pants-and-Scotch-drinking store, ya know?  😉  Even if that’s something I would have loved pre-baby.

Post # 12
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@icanhearyousmile:  If you want to get her booze, just ask specifically.  I’ve read a few studies that showed that even 2-3 drinks don’t have any noticeable effect on breastmilk.  I think it would be ok for you to ask “Hey we were going to get you a bottle of liquor but we know you’re breastfeeding.  Is that something you’d still enjoy on occasion?”  Some people won’t drink at all but I know a LOT of people who will have a drink or two or three before they’ll pump and dump.  So even drinking 3+ doesn’t stop them, they just have to plan.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To be honest, I’m on their side.  I get really uncomfortable when people ask me what I want for a gift, and I’d be even more uncomfortable if you’d already asked once before.  Attendant gifts are supposed to be something thoughtful and personal – not them telling you what they need. 

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