- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Looking for ideas:
FI & I are getting married in October. This is my first marriage and will be his second (I met my FH 3 years after his divorce; he has no children). Despite there being a pretty good gap between his divorce and us meeting/dating/getting engaged, I think I’m still dealing with some challenges of becoming his second wife.
I’m wondering if you bees know of any good books or websites that help the first timer’s deal with the dynamics of marrying a second timer? Are any of you marrying someone who’s been married before, and know what I’m talking about? Have any of you been married before and can offer me any advice?
Without getting into specifics, I just mean things like: his family doesn’t think they should contribute to the rehearsal dinner because they paid for the rehearsal dinner at his first wedding; I’m quite often compared to the first wife (“You’re so much cuter than she was” or “You have so much more personality than she did”, etc – like being compared even in a nice way is any better! It’s insulting to my FI); related to the wedding, although he says he doesn’t believe this, FI has ‘been there, done that’ and nothing is new – taking away from my experience quite a bit.
A book or just some advice would be quite nice in helping me to feel more 1st choice in FI’s life, and less like a 2nd choice….