(Closed) My first vent.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3303 posts
Sugar bee

No advice but good luck with her!

Post # 4
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

Haha, I use the “just blame me” routine all the time! So did my mum, when I was growing up. I’ve fortunately not had to use it for family members, or future in-laws yet!

I hope it works out okay, and good for you for sticking to your guns. I have an overinflated sense of personal justice, so things like this make me want to dig my heels in.

Post # 5
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Time for some more coaching. When she says, “I can/will do this” or “You have to/should/must do that, just reply the same way every time: We have already decided to do ________. 

So, “I will pay for a big wedding! Here look at this venue!” “We have already decided to get married somewhere else.” If you have actually made a specific decision, you can tell her what that decision is if you’d like. Otherwise, you can be vague. For example, if she says she wants to have enormous crystal centerpieces and you haven’t picked anything out yet, but you know you don’t want that and don’t want her involved in the process, say, “Thanks for the suggestion, but we already decided on what we’re doing. You’ll see on the wedding day!”

Post # 6
1224 posts
Bumble bee

The irony is I was going to say I’d tell her, “If you want all these people at a wedding, have your own!” or “Throw your own family reunion!” Looks like she already is.

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