Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2015 - Longshadow Ranch Winery and Vineyard
I am newly engaged (12/31/13) and very excited to begin planning my dream wedding! My fiancée is the best thing to ever happen to me. We have both been married before and are a blended family, each with 2 children full time and we live together. We actually met through our 12 year olds being best friends.
In his former marriage, he had a small wedding. In my former marriage, I had no wedding, no vows, no dress, no flowers, etc. I simply got married because i was pregnant, we didn’t get so much as a congratulations from either side.
My parents asked if they’re if they are hosting, or if they are guests at my wedding. I said I would be thrilled with whatever level of involvement they would like. I’m not sure what the norm is in this situation. Does anyone have any experience in this area?
I know I want my dad to walk me down the isle, 100 guests, a veil, and a white dress, even though I’m not a virgin. Some areas I’m unclear about are: registries, showers, who pays for what, invitations, things not to do, etc.
Post # 3
@mollykressig: First of all, CONGRATS! 🙂 Second of all, I can’t imagine how thrilled your best friend children are that their parents are getting married! That’s like a dream come true for any kid! 🙂
As for your wedding… it is really up to you! What do you envision? Do you want a “typical” (Not saying that to offend anyone – I am having a “typical” wedding) wedding or something different since you’ve both been married? Do you want a big, fancy affair or something more casual?
I think you need to set the budget and talk to your parents if they want to host to see what their budget is and go from there. As far as who pays for what, I don’t think there are really rules anymore. Lots of couples pay for it themselves. My FI and my parents are splitting the costs of our wedding.
As for the other things you are unsure about, read wedding blogs, magazines or the bee. There is a TON of info at your fingertips. Good luck planning and congrats again!
Post # 4
Congradulations! I dont think there are any real rules – you should keep in mind that if your parents help, they may want a say in how things go.
Post # 5
@mollykressig: For showers, it really depends on if someone wants to host one for you. They are nice but not required. For gifts, a registry is fine if you are hosting a wedding. In some areas the etiquette is that if you got a gift for someone’s first wedding you don’t have to get a gift for their second – which would only really be applicable to your fiance.
Post # 6
@mollykressig: I don’t think there are any rules per se – this will be my first wedding and marriage and FI’s second. He did have a big wedding last time and this one will still be a decent size one with all the regular trimmings. We didn’t feel the need to scale back because it is his second – decisions on guest lists etc. have been made purely on what we prefer (90ish people) and can afford. We did decline his parents offer of money towards the wedding as they already contributed significantly to his first one and because we are in a better financial situation than them anyway.
Post # 7
So exciting! Congrats!
I don’t think there are any major rule changes in your particular situation.
Shower’s could possibly be something you are concerned about, but 1) you don’t decide if those happen anyway (they are hosted by others, should they be so kind), and 2) no one has ever bought you a shower gift beore, so there really shouldn’t be an issue on that end.
I don’t think anyone cares about the white dress/virgin rule these days.