(Closed) My First Wedding vs. FH Friend’s Vow Renewal

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

even if you were to attend the vow renewal, im guessing you wouldnt enjoy yourself too much because so much about this woman annoys you.  i wouldnt go & i would stick to my honeymoon plans.

Post # 4
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Well, as a person who is renewing my vows after 6 years and has a child, I’m probably not the best person to answer this…

We eloped and never had a chance to have the at-home reception that we were planning, because I got pregnant two months after we were married. So, now we’re planning to renew our vows in a wonderful weekend designed to celebrate our love and honor our friends and family that have supported us the past 6 {7 by the big day 2.0} years. I think that’s it’s just as important as another person’s first wedding. But, nobody ever thinks that somebody else’s big day is as important as that person thinks it is. Maybe she’s trying to share in the planning with you? She’s probably just excited like you are. I doubt she’s trying to steal your thunder. You asked if you should postpone your honeymoon, I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t postpone a honeymoon for anything, “real” wedding or vow renewal. Now, if your FI wants to go, then I think you need to talk about it. How close is the friendship?

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Well now, you should have mentioned that before. 🙂 Kill her!

That would annoy me if they were behind on rent AND they had a huge wedding before. We eloped in LV, so this is our first “wedding” for all of our friends and family.

I wouldn’t postpone your honeymoon for them though.

Are they having attendants and everything? She sounds like a trip! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just have some wierd mental images of getting re-hitched at a renaissance fair.  (Men in kilts with women in corsets who shouldn’t be wearing them in the first place waving around turkey legs in the air and ale in large flagons shouting huzzah is not my cup of tea)

Aside from that, I’d not re-work my wedding or my honeymoon for that event unless your FH really says its totally important you both go. 

Maybe she never got that wedding five years back?  Maybe she is just really in love or tries to fit in with you or other girls in the group of friends?  She may not know she’s somewhat annoying (hence her continuance of doing the convo hijacks)?

I’m an encore bride and while it won’t be my first wedding, I can say it is equal or even more important than my first wedding too.  And I’m a mom.  But I do not hijack convos about wedding with my friends who are marrying.  That is wrong and maybe your friends’ w is either clueless in tact or just trying too hard.  

Post # 8
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If she had a big wedding five years ago, her friends are probably rolling their eyes when they hear long detailed descriptions of her new weddinng plans.  I’d ignore that part completely.  I’d also be quite inclined to skip the wedding, but you do need to discuss this issue with your future husband (who really shouldn’t have told them you would postpone your honeymoon without discussing it with you).

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

“Well now, you should have mentioned that before. 🙂 Kill her!”

heheheheh

Post # 11
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Huzzah you are being so great about this!  Much better than I.  Let us raise our grogs of ale to the lady PlaidBride!

Still no way I’d forego a honeymoon to see this.

I am actually not anti-renaissance fairs.  It’s just I took my son to the one here in GA about 2 years ago and had a sneezing fit due to all the dust and my eyes almost swelled shut….or was that because of the women in the tight corsets who shouldn’t have been..or the men with the gargantuan beer guts in kilts?  I dunno.  Maybe it’s because I never enjoyed studying the middle ages and phases in history like that wrought with plagues and short lifespans don’t appeal to the romantic side to me.

I just remember that dusty place and my son chomping on a turkey leg telling me that he wanted to find the catapult and my eyes were like two slits swollen.  I looked like I was a prize fighter and lost.

Post # 12
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

She’s having bridesmaids? Ack! I dont think that’s allowed!

Post # 13
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Where exactly ARE they marrying at the fair?  Just curious. 

When I think of midevil music, the song “Stonehenge” by Spinal Tap is what I think of.  Especially the part where the pan flute is played.

Post # 14
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

why are they even having such a big vow renewal? If they’ve been through a rough patch and are just getting strong again, I guess I can see how important it may be to them and all… but, really? I’m not planning on throwing a new wedding every 5 years. The only reason I can justify spending money for it the first time around is because it’s supposed ot be the only one.

I’m sorry this woman seems to be “stealing your thunder”. I suggest you try to get excited with her and play along when talking about plans, but I wouldn’t change my honeymoon plans – you’ll just resent their vow renewal the whole time anyway thinking you’d rather be on your honeymoon, right?

 

edit: hahaha if you can go with a sense of humor – I say go for it! You get a good laugh and a trip to Hawaii later on. win-win.

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

wow, I know tons of people who have a good time at ren faires, but as far as requesting that guests stay in character and costume for an entire weekend for a wedding? That sound like a bit much to me (I say “a bit much” to keep this weddingbee appropriate… just thought you should know. haha)

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