- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Let me preface this by saying that my FI’s mother is a wonderful lady who is so kind and sweet that I love her like she’s blood. My mother is super swell too! So when I realized that my biggest worry about marrying into his family is his overbearing, always has to be in the spotlight Aunt S, well…. it kind of frustrates me more!
On three occasions she has been quite rude to me about my date and it is ALWAYS at family functions because those are the only times that I have to be around her. She also disapproves of the fact that we are not disclosing our wedding location until the save the dates go out later this month (A full 9-10 months before the wedding!!!). We are planning to do something quite crafty with them and we want to make every detail special. Everyone already knows the date and that it is a location that requires travel, no passport. Both of our parents and my MOH know where it is, but that’s it.
The first time she acted out was in July at her granddaughter’s birthday party (she is also our godchild). When we arrived she was disgruntled about our date being on a Monday and that I did not ask her to be the director of ceremony. While I was sitting with some friends of the family, she comes up and “whispers” loudly enough that everyone could hear her that she is going to be the director of ceremony “whether I like it or not!” I was so embarassed that I just nervously smiled and motioned for my FI to come over. When he did he distracted her by asking her if she wanted a soda and moved her away.
The second time it was in September at my FI’s niece’s birthday party where she interrupted my conversation with his other aunt to tell me that Mondays are not good days for her and that she would like us to move the date to the weekend. I told her that we were pleased with our choice and that the date has special significance to us. I wanted to add that I do not care whether it suits her, but did not because I am and always have been respectful of older family members. She then huffed and puffed about it to his other aunt who was not impressed by her antics at all. In fact, his other aunt, Aunt C, works and was excited to take off Friday, Monday, and Tuesday for the wedding even though Friday is kind of unnecessary).
This last time was on Saturday at her daughter’s acting debut. My FI’s cousin is extremely talented and I took some time away from my busy law school schedule to see her. We came in slightly late, so we sat where we could find seats. During intermission, FI and I walked over the family to say hello and take the seats they saved for us. Aunt S immediately says “Why didn’t you ever tell me when the date of your wedding is!” I was kind of taken aback because (1) she obviously knows since she threw a hissy fit twice before and (2) this was not the time or the place to discuss this again. I nicely said, “We did tell you, August 20th, remember” She then flies into a tizzy about how she has school and this that and the other. That we are seriously inconveniencing her and that she can’t do that day. THEN she says “Well I need to know where we are going!” My FI said that we will let everyone know at the end of this month and that today was about his cousin and not our wedding. She wouldn’t let it go and then proceeds to write the location of our wedding in the air with her finger. She smirked so snidely and evilly, ya’ll. I’m not exaggerating. It’s not that she knows where the wedding is, but rather her attitude about it. Like she was getting me back for having it on a Monday, as if it was all about her. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash water on my face before returning to the play.
My FI wants his aunt there because he has a connection to her from when he was in the military (long story) and he loves her obviously. But he also sees how she is and how miserable she is making this whole wedding process whenever she’s around. All of my family and friends work and no one has a problem with the scheduling, I just wanted to share my frustration, but I’m open to any constructive advice. Thanks bees!