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This is a three part question about my FI's name. I appreciate any suggestions even if the answer is just that I'm over-analyzing the whole situation.

My FI has a very long, hard to pronounce, hard to spell, Indian last name. It's very important to him that I and our future children take his last name since he's an only child and all of his Dad's family is female and still lives in India. He feels like it's his responsibility to keep the name going. I've agreed to legally make his last name my own because I know how important it is to him as well as for the practicality of having the same last name for legal issues. He's also a career military officer and anyone who's military will tell you that paperwork is hard enough without having to add the complication of different last names.

However, I would still like to use my maiden name for the day-to-day. I work as a music teacher and would hate to make the kids in my classes try to learn a name like that. Not to mention constantly being asked how to spell/pronounce it to others (and the lame jokes and comments that inevitably follow) is exceedingly annoying. So, my first question is what type of situations can I expect it to be acceptable or not acceptable to use my maiden name? Do you think I'd be causing more confusion by using two different names than just one difficult one?

Also I worry about our kids taking the last name as well. I grew up with an unusual first name with odd spelling and, while now I enjoy my name, I remember it wasn't always so. In addition, tho is my FI is half Indian, besides for his wonderful dark hair, he looks as pasty as my Irish self. So our kids are gonna have an obviously Indian name but not look at all Indian. Lol. I hate to set them up for schoolyard torture, but kids are resilient, right? My mom is trying to get us to consider giving our kids my last name, but I think that's just a step too far. Don't you?

Lastly, My FI hates with a passion his first name and has gone by a nickname since he was a kid. All our friends and everyone on my family's side (which is very large) know him only by that nickname, a fact which he loves. However, everyone in his family only call him by his real name. Since his family is small and make up less than 20% of the guest list should I save him the embarrassment and go with his nickname on the invitations, or should be more considerate to his family and use his legal name? Or should I do one of those First name "Nickname" Last name formats? 

Thanks so much  for your advice ladies! No, the name does sound like another word thankfully, it's just hard to pronounce and spell. Also, his nickname does not sound like a nickname, it's the common yet short Indian first name, Raj. Most people think it's his actual first name. He would like Raj on the invitations, his real name is what is considered today a girl's name. However, I think his family would prefer his real name be used on the invitations since they never call him the other. The wedding will be fairly formal. I've found the bigger the guest list, the more formal the wedding tends to get. I was thinking I'd do more formal invitations where each our full names are used - first middle and last, especially since basically it could be the last time I'd get to see my full maiden name printed out like that. I'd be open to the "nickname" in between thing, except I don't know if that'd be considered tacky for that type of invitation. 

In truth, I guess I'm just nervous to give up my last name. It sounds silly I know, but it makes feel like I'm losing some part of my identity. We're both very independent people. With him being military, we've had to deal with periods of long distance, and that will probably continue in the future. So when he's gone, it'd be very easy to be known by my maiden name both socially and professionally, and save my married name just for paperwork and when people ask about my husband. And even when he's home, we still run in very different circles with little crossover. You know what they say about opposites attracting. I don't mind when his friends or when we're on base people knowing me as Mrs. So-and-so. But I think I'd rather introduce myself to people I meet elsewhere by my maiden name, especially if i know there's little chance of them ever interacting with my husband.

I can see what my mom was saying, seeing that, if I was going to continue to use my maiden name, why not give the kids my name since it could be on them easier on them in ways. But I think you're right. It's important to him. And I think, no matter how weird or annoying having a name like that can be, it's still important they have it. I just hope they don't think I'm a hypocrite if I choose to use my maiden name from day-to-day.