- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
FI and I are super busy so a few days ago I asked my FMIL if she could drop of the deposit for the venue for us and she said that not only would she love to, but that she insisted on paying. That turned into us doing that whole polite arguing thing you do with people you aren’t comfortable enough to speak your mind with, and in the end I conceded because it’s just the deposit and she’ll get it back anyway. The conversation turned to the guest list, and I told her that we’d trimmed it down to about 75 people to keep things as intimate and affordable as possible, and also to kind of let her know that there wasn’t much room for additions. She insisted on knowing how many guests I was comfortable with and wanted to know how many people she was allowed to invite and also wanted to know why I wanted such a small wedding. At that point I wanted to yell at her and tell her that I find large weddings annoying, exhausting, pointless, and frightening, but I just told her that I don’t do well with crowds (because I don’t) and I wanted plenty of room for dancing… Plus I love DIY and who the hell can DIY favors and centerpieces and all that jazz when the guest list is pushing 200 without things looking like shit?????
I told her that she could invite a few people, but that I would have to get back with her on the number she is allowed to invite.
This is really touchy for me because I get horribly anxious around a lot of people and FI and I have been trying to figure out how to make everyone happy. He was ready to elope, but I knew how important family is to him, so we met in the middle and decided to just make it as small as possible. Now I feel like we’re back at square one.
Today, I get a text from her telling me that she and her husband have also reserved her husband’s company’s country club for us and that we can feel free to look at it and tell her if we like it because there is much more room there plus they have a full kitchen to use (so does the place that we pick but it’s apparently not good enough because it only holds up to 120 people). Oh, and also not only did they put the deposit down for us but they are paying for the whole thing.
Who does that? Seriously. Who.
This is mostly just a vent. I am so mad right now I can’t even- UGH. No one asked for your fucking money!!! I said she could pay the deposit, not the venue. I am a grown ass ADULT and I make plenty of my OWN money, thankyouverymuch. And I NEVER said she could pick a venue!!! Holy crap!
Anyway. I have passed this problem over to FI because as far as I’m concerned? His mama, his problem. But I don’t want stuff like this to keep happening. This is her first child to get married so I understand her excitement to get involved, and I am not the kind of person who thinks the day is all about me; I want everyone to be happy and feel included because the more help the better, and we really are all family, but this has already gotten a little out of hand. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but how do you tell a woman to slow the f down? I adore her and don’t want to cause any drama, but I feel like she’s stepping over the line.
Also, as I was typing this I got a text from FI: “She is trying to change everything. I’m sorry. I’ll talk with her.” Oh boy.