Post # 1
All 16 of them. We’re only having 150 guests…so 10% of our guest list would just be her coworkers. How do I handle that situation without being considered a bridezella? Everyone’s list has already been cut down, mine, FI’s, and my parents.
Post # 3
Oopsie, it appears you posted under “paper” 🙂
IMO, this is a problem for your Fiance to solve, not you. He needs to grab this problem by the horns and have a heart to heart with his mom about this issue.
Post # 4
Give her a limit as the number of people she can invite that is equal to yours and your family. If her coworkers can fit in that list then I guess thats her option, but hopefully that will force her to concentrate on family and close friends.
We did it so my fiance and I have 35 people, his family has 35, and my family has 35. Anyone over that we had to discuss, my mom invited a few more people because they are paying and the people are family.
Post # 5
@coffeegal85: Let her invite whom ever she likes as long as she is willing to cover the cost of the two tables, decor, invitations and food. Why not? I would explain it to her in these terms. “It will cost $157/ person that you would like over the 150 that Fiance and I can afford to cover. Please send me the names and the check, I would be glad to accomadate it. Thanks!”
Post # 6
Just say no. Because 16 coworkers = 32 people once you give them dates. Unless she wants to pay for them all? Honestly though, her coworkers won’t care about the two of you and will just be there for the food. Is that who you really want at your wedding?
I didn’t invite my own coworkers, let alone our parents…
Post # 7
Oy. I’ve really never understood the mentality of inviting coworkers to your child’s wedding… unless, say, it’s a family/small business where they’ve known you for years it’s really just them coming to a party where they don’t know anyone to celebrate the marriage of a stranger. How odd!
Post # 8
I hear ya Girl…my soon to be Mother-Inlaw can be quite pushy also!! I would def have your Fiance break the news b/c it is his Mother….that’s how I usually do things…lol! But if you are going to be the one to talk to her about it, I would just clearly tell her that your other family members plus you & your Fiance have had to cut down on the guests..so she should too! Plus if you are handling the invites & sending them out, just call her & tell her that you are sending them out in the next day or two & give her an exact # of ppl she can invite & tell her to get back to you when she has picked. It’s your day…not hers & if you do bite your tongue & not say anything…you will regret it!! I have learned that the hard way w/ my Future Mother-In-Law over the yrs…but it has gotten better now that I do put my foot down! Sry so long…I just know what you are going through…hope it turns out okay!! 🙂
Post # 9
I’m sort of in the same boat. I have a huge family, so even cutting off our guest list at immediate family/aunts/uncles/first cousins and a few very, very close family friends, my list is a lot bigger than FI’s side. Future Mother-In-Law told a bunch of her coworkers that they were invited and they’re saving to come up for the wedding already. I told Future Mother-In-Law they were “B” list guests for the time being, and she agreed, but when I saw her coworkers a few weeks ago, they were all talking about coming.
The way I look at it, is that it’s your wedding. Invite who you want to be there, and fill in with her “extra” guests as you get no responses.
Post # 10
@AnnieAAA: We were just doing Save-The-Date Cards, and he was nervous about telling his mom that we had only 4 more to hand out. I can just imagine what will happen when its time for invitations. She told us to send none, because they worked in the same office, so I couldn’t just send them to a few. Oh well.
Both sets of parents are contributing some money, along with Fiance and I. With all the contributions, I only have room for 150. And really, that’s all I want. I don’t want a huge party, so I don’t really want people contributing more money, just so more people can come.
I feel like its our day…why would all these random people come if we don’t have enough room to fit everyone my Fiance and I want to invite?
I also think the mentality is stupid…well they invited me to their wedding, so we have to invite them to ours. Nope, we don’t. They had a 400 person wedding; that’s the only reason we were invited. Grrr!
Post # 11
@eastcoaster: Its not really about both our families inviting equal numbers, its just I told my parents, my Fiance, and myself that I needed to cut, so my Future Mother-In-Law should also need too. My parents wanted a few more spots, and I said no, we don’t have any more room; that was before I realized how lop-sided things were.