Just need to vent a little
more by divergirl
Anyone else wanted to have a baby right after being married?
Anti wedding mother
more in Family
Question about escorting.
My crazy idea for a podium.
more in Boards
Am I being selfish or is she stealing my thunder?

My FMIL wants to go bridesmaid dress shopping...

posted 1 year ago in Family
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    divergirl    October 8, 2011  

    But didn't want to go wedding dress shopping? I think it's just kind of weird. I know the store we're going to is going to have my dress and I really wanted to show my sisters my dress at the appointment; but given some of the comments my FMIL has made and comments her niece made (who is also a BM) I really don't want her seeing it, or having any idea how much it costs. FI thinks I'm being mean, I just don't want any extra criticism and let them see it the day of.

     
    2.
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    lightburnsblue    September 3, 2011   Madison, WI

    I think it's kind of weird too. Seems like she wants to go because she cares more about what her niece is wearing than what you are wearing. Can you tell her that the shop asked you to not bring a huge entourage? If that wouldn't fly, I guess I'd let her come and maybe wait until she and the neice leave before trying on  your gown.

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    divergirl    October 8, 2011  

    She said she wants to see the BM dresses so she can get an idea of how fancy her dress needs to be and what color she should wear. I think it's odd she wants to go, but I don't mind she's there. I'm just afraid she's going to ask "divergirl is your dress here" and then the consultant asking what it is (I know they carry it) and then everyone asking to see it. I don't know to say "no I don't want to show it to you" without being rude, and making it seem like I'm getting back at her for not going to the original dress appointment.

     
    4.
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    FMILady    June 6, 2010   Texas

    Make your appointments at two different times- straddling lunch.  For example- have a 10:30- show your dress to whom you want it to be seen- take them for a snack and meet your FMIL and whomever at 12:30 with whoever wants to come back with you. If it comes up, say that you had to schedule it that way (which you did). I agree that she doesn't need to see your dress now.  It's a done deal and only a critique can come out of it. Good luck.

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    divergirl    October 8, 2011  

    @FMILady: Yeah I told my sister that if she really wanted to see it we would go to another store that's more local. I figured if it does get brought up, I could probably tell the sales consultant to just say they sold the sample recently or that she can't find it.  I'm going to hope FMIL stays disinterested in my dress.

     
    6.
    Member
    5,980 posts
    Bee Keeper
    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    If she just wants to know what colour and how formal her dress should be, seems like the shortest route would be to send her a picture of what you choose after the fact. 

    I might offer that up, as a way "not to waste her entire day looking at dresses you may not choose, but will definitely send her a picture of the final choice".

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    divergirl    October 8, 2011  

    @SapphireSun: no she is rescheduling her whole day to be apart of this. I just don't understand her sometimes. Whatev, maybe all will go well.

     
    8.
    Member
    1,076 posts
    Bumble bee
    europomme    September 17, 2011  

    Can you play it off like you want it to be a surprise and that's why you won't show her your dress?  That could work!!

     
    9.
    Member
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    Waves2    October 22, 2011  

    My feelings are this. It's your wedding. .   you call the shots.  If you don't want her to see the gowns, then tell her politely but be firm. I don't understand why she needs to go with you to see the bridesmaids dresses, unless she is trying to sneak a peak at your gown, see how much you paid, and to throw in some criticism. If she has to tag along, I would call the bridal salon where you bought your gown ahead of time, and  give them a heads up. I am sure they will work with you in keeping your gown a secret. This is supposed to be a fun time for you, you don't need the stress. Stay strong, have fun, and don't take any crap from anyone:)

     
    10.
    Member
    6,643 posts
    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    I would probably just say that you want to keep your dress a surprise.

     
    11.
    Member
    1,669 posts
    Bumble bee
    menobride    June 5, 2011   NH

    I think you're being a little overdramatic. You should be glad she is taking an interest in the wedding. Let her go see the bridesmaid dresses, keep in mind you have final say, and don't let her see yours if you don't want to.

     
    12.
    Member Icon
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    MrsChanToBee    June 25, 2011  

    I think it is best to be honest...kindly. If you would rather not have FMIL see it (which it sounds like in this case that is understandable) then just tell her that you would prefer it to be a surprise and show it to the other gals at a different time. (Easier said than done, I know...)

     
    13.
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    portersl    August 13, 2011  

    get there ahead of time & tell who ever is there that you dont want the party showing up today to see your dress bc u want it to be a surprise so if they ask tell them that they dont carry it??

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Rojocameo 16
    Rivendeler 15
    kat2014 12
    lionskitty 9
    Suikerbossie 9
    ellisrobertson 9
    dysia_79 8
    bookworm88 8
    Future Mrs K 8
    ladyrosetexas 8

    Family

    User Posts Today
    Rojocameo 9
    keranos 6
    Sasha2011 1
    bookworm88 1
    MrsTimmy 1
    MrsElopement 1
    Zanne54 1
    Rivendeler 1
    sundae.mourning 1
    More