My friend does not say 'Thank You' and it bugs the crap out of me

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@FleeSircus:  I’d be saying “You’re welcome” at every chance I get. IF she questions it I’d be frank and tell her “You never thank me for anything so I pretend I hear it so I don’t feel so taken advantage of.”

 

Post # 4
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FleeSircus:  yea dont offer to pay for her anymore if shes not appreciative of it.

Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow your friend lacks basic manners. Stop spending your money on this person please, 3 year olds know better. 

Post # 7
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Chrysoberyl:  Yes!! This. OP she seems like a little brat and I would have no problem saying this to her. Some people don’t even realise hwo rude they are being until they are straight up TOLD!

Post # 8
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FleeSircus:  i cant stand people like that. I was friends with someone like this and it was a combination of things that led to an end to our friendship but not being appreciative was one of them. I did everything for hwr, i picmed up her dry cleaning her packages, i even went as far as covering for her when she cheated on her bf…yup…abd ive made it clear that im not a fan of her doing bc her bf was a great guy. We went to Ireland and my other best friends parents took the liberty of showing us around and took us on a few excursions on her parents expense and never said thank you. And last, what really blew my mind, was when we went to their house in Ireland and they cooked us dinner. She didnt say thank you and said the coffee sucked.

So you might be better off just limiting your contact. I have no time or patience for people like that

Post # 9
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

@FleeSircus:  Sounds like she expects these things, or feels entitled. I’d stop doing/paying anything… Say to the waiter “oh, we will split the check”, etc.

Post # 10
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

I would say lesson learned. Just never give her anything else. 

Sound like she was raised with bad manners and probably has a sense of entitlement. I would have said she was just a bit thoughtless, except she clearly took advantage by allowing you to pay for the meal of someone you’ve never met and by adding on extras for your mum to pay for. Ugh! 

Post # 11
Member
11 posts
Newbee

That would be really frustrating and infuriating after a while. At the same time, maybe she just lacks self awareness (as well as basic manners). Maybe you can gently/jokingly call her out on it.

Post # 12
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wold have said something before now.  I mean she just didn’t get like this, she had to be like this growing up with you.  I would have handed her something and said your welcom…. and now is the time you say Thank you. 

That would piss me off.  Either that or this stupid kid on my floor at school never said thankyou.  My mom sent us cookies and I didn’t give him any, only him.  He asked why and I said …pfff you never say thank you so w hat’s the point. 

Post # 13
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

That would bug me as well. Knowing me, I’d mention it to her, as well as stop paying for things. 

Post # 14
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I will admint (shyly sp?) that I have become aware of that fact in myself… Not so much for things like you described, but my MIL recently started letting me know with little things like if I styled me hair differently or if I put on an unusual color I don’t normally wear, she’ll say, “oh your hair looks good when you style it like that, or I like that color on you, etc…” and out of habit I have to critique myself, I will just respond… “I know, but…” and she has said almost every time, “lol no, you’re supposed to say Thank You” I’m not put off by it or anything cause she is not snarky about it or anything, mabe she just doesn’t realize that she is doing it? Cause I certainly had no idea, and I’m glad she finally pointed it out, and brought it to my attention. 

Post # 15
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ha!! people like that are so annoying!

My fiance’s brother was dating a girl that we all liked a lot, but she would never say thank you when anyone complimented her. It cracked me up!

One day they were heading out to prom… someone complimented her dress and she goes, “I know! It’s so elegant!” I had to cough so I wouldn’t laugh. I honestly think that some people just aren’t raised with manners. She was a nice girl but honestly didn’t know how to say thanks.

Post # 16
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ugh, my brother does this, too! We go out to dinner often with his and his family, and I always pay because they are having a hard time, they never ever say thank you.

I always say thank you when someone pays for my meal, or does something nice. I never tell my boss thank you every time he throws us a pizza party [which is once a month], it’s something that he’s been doing forever, but he doesn’t NEED to do it.

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