- 4 months ago
So my friend group is at the stage in life where people are starting to get married (late 20s) and my (male) best friend desperately wants to find his other half. Not to go into too much detail, but one of his parents has a major health issue and has a limited amount of time left with us. My friend, lets call him Dave, really wants to meet all of the major milestones in life ASAP so his parent can witness them too. (He realizes you can’t rush love, but just gives some color around his situation).
As I mentioned, Dave is one of my best friends. He grew up with my FI, and I have known him 12 years. Dave has never had a serious girlfriend, but he regularly goes on dates, and always comes to me for advice with girls, but the thing is, I really cant figure out why he cant find someone!!! I NEED YOUR HELP BEES!
Dave is seriously a great guy! He has an amazing family, he is kind, handsome, thoughtful, and extremely well off (he already runs his own business passed down from aforementioned sick parent). Everything a girl would want in a guy you would think! (Some things that couldnt be working against him: he is pretty sensitive, a huge “momma’s boy”, and is fairly skinny for a man). He always finds a girl at any bar, etc. to talk to, but he can never seem to make a relationship out of it!
Here comes the “creepy” part. He is very close with his parents, and his mother raised him with the mentality that he should “spoil” women, and he very much has old fashioned ideas on dating and that he should “woo” a girl. Always pick a girl up, always pay, etc. and one of those things his mother talks about is gifts. Gifting is very much their love language. He went on 5 dates with a girl and randomly bought her a $400 purse (honestly, he can afford it, and his reasoning was “it reminded him of her, so he wanted her to have it”). I think this is sweet!!! Girl thought it was creepy. Awkwardly thanked him for the purse and only went one two forced dates after that. Another girl, he goes on maybe 4 dates, and shows up with flowers at her house randomly, just to be nice. Once again, girl thought it was creepy. Goes on 3 dates with a girl, gets here monogrammed grocery bags (the kind you reuse).
So bees, what do you think, is my friend a huge creep and needs to lay off this behavior, or are these girls not for him? I keep telling him they are not right for him, and the right girl should appreciate his thoughtfulness, but I just dont know! I know him too well, so I know his heart is in the right place and I guess it would be different if he were a stranger.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!