Post # 1
I have a friend who is very controlling of her FI. She tells him when he’s not allowed to go out somewhere and when he has to be home.
This makes DH and I very uncomfortable, and we worry about their relationship. They are getting married soon. Is it inappropriate to talk to her FI about their relationship? DH is good friends with him and in the wedding party.
There have been several occasions when she litterally has told her FI what to do and where to be. Is it is wrong to think maybe he is feeling trapped?
I know it’s wrong to assume how he’s feeling in all of this, but we are just worried for him, especially since the wedding is coming soon.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
MYOB (mind your own business) is my advice. He’s a grown man, he can decide for himself if he wants to stay with this woman. You’re just asking for trouble.
Post # 4
Has he expressed that he’s unhappy with the relationship? If not, I wouldn’t bring it up. He’s a grown adult and can make his own decisions.
Post # 5
@girlygirl22: Sticky situation. You want to be a good friend, but you never know if it’s your place to address it.
Personally, I would stay out of it, but maybe ask DH to address it in passing. Meddling in someone else’s relationship seems to always come back and bite the meddler and friendships are lost.
Post # 6
@girlygirl22: I’m assuming this is a grown man? I think if he didn’t like being told what to do, he wouldn’t be in the relationship. And I assume he has his own friends and family who would step in if for some reason he is incapable of dealing with his own FI.
My friends are all in very different relationships than my own. I have a friend-couple who pretty much only speak in snide remarks and teasing. If my SO talked to me that way, I would dump his ass in a heartbeat, but they seem perfectly happy. You never know. Maybe they have a subimissive/dom relationship or something.
Post # 7
Not your place to chime in; leave it alone.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2015 - Now Sapphire Resort
@girlygirl22: You never know what works for them. I would recommend staying out of it but if you are the kind of girl who just HAS to say something (and I completely understand that!) then talk to HER not to him. Keep it casual and if she wants to drop it, then drop it.
Post # 10
@Westwood: There was one time when DH and him were out for dinner and had plans to drop by a friends house. Anne told him he had to come home and wasn’t allowed to go to his friends place anymore. He facepalmed and seemed pretty upset. DH said he should decide what he wanted to do. He said “no, you don’t know Anne. If I don’t go home, she’ll be pissed. And when she’s pissed, she pissed. There is no middle ground”
Post # 11
@girlygirl22: Stay out of it. Their relationship is honestly none of your business. He is the one choosing to be in that relationship.. Maybe they dont agree with you and yoru FIs relationship?..
Post # 12
It’s not really your place unless he comes to you guys seeking your advice and opinion. I know it sucks to see these sorts of relationships, but these two people are adults and choosing to be in this relationship. He can stop this treatment if he wants to by standing up to her or leaving her.
Post # 13
its not your place to judge and it’s none of your business
Post # 14
If he wants to talk about it with your DH, then that’s fine, but otherwise you guys need to stay out of it. My girlfriends and I talk about relationships all the time – voluntarily. I’ll give advice when it’s warranted, but mostly, we all just like to vent a little. I’d be SUPER pissed if someone went to my husband and told them how trapped they thought I was making him. I would likely not be friends with that couple anymore.
Post # 15
@MexiPino: The thing is that he is new to the area, so he doesn’t have family or many friends here. DH is basically the closest person he has in town, which is why he kind of feels like he needs to have his back
Post # 16
The only way I would say it’s OK to discuss it is if the guy brings it up with DH. Otherwise, stay out of it. It’s none of your business. What if someone mentioned something being wrong about your relationship when you’re both perfectly happy? It would probably hurt your friendship. It may be the same for them and you could be taking a big risk.