My friend is controlling her FI

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

MYOB (mind your own business) is my advice.  He’s a grown man, he can decide for himself if he wants to stay with this woman.  You’re just asking for trouble.

Post # 4
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Has he expressed that he’s unhappy with the relationship? If not, I wouldn’t bring it up. He’s a grown adult and can make his own decisions.

Post # 5
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@girlygirl22:  Sticky situation. You want to be a good friend, but you never know if it’s your place to address it.

Personally, I would stay out of it, but maybe ask DH to address it in passing. Meddling in someone else’s relationship seems to always come back and bite the meddler and friendships are lost.

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@girlygirl22:  I’m assuming this is a grown man? I think if he didn’t like being told what to do, he wouldn’t be in the relationship. And I assume he has his own friends and family who would step in if for some reason he is incapable of dealing with his own FI. 

My friends are all in very different relationships than my own. I have a friend-couple who pretty much only speak in snide remarks and teasing. If my SO talked to me that way, I would dump his ass in a heartbeat, but they seem perfectly happy. You never know. Maybe they have a subimissive/dom relationship or something. 

Post # 7
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Not your place to chime in; leave it alone.

Post # 8
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

None of your business

Post # 9
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Now Sapphire Resort

@girlygirl22:  You never know what works for them.  I would recommend staying out of it but if you are the kind of girl who just HAS to say something (and I completely understand that!)  then talk to HER not to him.  Keep it casual and if she wants to drop it, then drop it.

Post # 11
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@girlygirl22:  Stay out of it. Their relationship is honestly none of your business. He is the one choosing to be in that relationship.. Maybe they dont agree with you and yoru FIs relationship?.. 

Post # 12
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s not really your place unless he comes to you guys seeking your advice and opinion.  I know it sucks to see these sorts of relationships, but these two people are adults and choosing to be in this relationship.  He can stop this treatment if he wants to by standing up to her or leaving her.

Post # 13
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

its not your place to judge and it’s none of your business

Post # 14
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If he wants to talk about it with your DH, then that’s fine, but otherwise you guys need to stay out of it. My girlfriends and I talk about relationships all the time – voluntarily. I’ll give advice when it’s warranted, but mostly, we all just like to vent a little. I’d be SUPER pissed if someone went to my husband and told them how trapped they thought I was making him. I would likely not be friends with that couple anymore.

Post # 16
Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The only way I would say it’s OK to discuss it is if the guy brings it up with DH.  Otherwise, stay out of it.  It’s none of your business.  What if someone mentioned something being wrong about your relationship when you’re both perfectly happy?  It would probably hurt your friendship.  It may be the same for them and you could be taking a big risk.

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