- 5 months ago
I’m really just looking for other opinions about this because I am still trying to wrap my head around it myself.
A little backround- my friend dated this guy in high school. Both went their separate ways after that and ended up marrying other people.
Her first marriage lasted 8 years. After her divorce she ran into, let’s call him “Bob.” Bob and my friend “Pam” were born and raised and continued to live in the same small town. Bob and Pam would remain casual friends. She admits she never really got over her high school love for him. But Bob is happily married to someone else now. Bad timing for Pam.
Fast forward- Pam meets another man and they get married. Pam is married to this man for 10 years. Marriage ends horribly though after she finds out about his alcohol abuse and cheating. Pam files for divorce.
Pam is divorced now and once again runs into Bob. Bob finds out about Pam’s divorce. Bob and Pam reconnect and sparks are flying. Bob tells Pam he is also going through a divorce.
-this is the part Pam tells me now-
That she has run into Bob again and she’s really into him and he hasn’t changed at all, he’s still this great guy. I tell Pam that I’m happy for her! That’s great she has found someone that she can be happy around during this shitty time in her life. She tells me he is going through a divorce. Then she explains his “ex-wife still lives with him.” Then she tells me actually he isn’t divorced yet and that he’s just putting off filing and has been putting it off since their marriage went sour about 4 years ago. So he is still married.
She finds his wife on Instagram. She begins to creep her page. She catches Bob in a lie one night. Bob tells Pam he’s too tired from work to go to dinner with her on a Saturday night. Pam finds out via IG that Bob actually went to sushi with his wife. She tells me this and I tell Pam, “Whyyyy is he going to dinner with someone he plans on divorcing!?…” Seemed so fishy. Well Pam ends up confronting Bob about going to dinner (she lies and says a friend spotted them together there so she doesn’t have to fess up about viewing his wife’s IG) and Bob confesses that yes they did go out to dinner but it was only to sort out some divorce details and he wanted to do it in a public place so she wouldn’t turn it into a screaming match because they would be in public. So Pam says okay and that’s that.
Pam tells me this. After Pam confronts Bob she finds out that he and his wife also went out to dinner Friday night too. She does not confront Bob about this. She decides to just play it cool.
I could go into more details but then I would be typing all morning!!! Anyways, nobody knows about Pam and Bob being more than just friends. She went away with him for a weekend trip because he had to do some work out in the desert and they got a hotel together and turned it into a little weekend trip. But then he comes home and is still living with his wife!
Pam tells me over and over that she doesn’t want to pressure him to leave his wife and Bob assures Pam over and over that he’s going to and that he wants to be with Pam but he’s just waiting for the right time to serve the papers. He admits he’s dragging his heals.
I guess I want to believe Bob is being real to my friend but then my brain keeps telling me Pam is an idiot and of course this man is just cheating on his wife.