Post # 1
Hello bees, a friend on mine IRL just texted me that she is having a miscarriage. She is about 6-7 weeks along. She was so excited as this is baby #2, and she is 32 years old. I have been in contact with her (she is many miles away) pretty much for the whole process while she was trying. She is super open/honest about the whole thing, and we have so much in common it just breaks my heart. She started bleeding like a light period today and cannot see her doctor until tomorrow (due to the holidays). Is there any advice I can give her? Any insights? I just want to help her. Thanks.
Post # 3
Aww that’s awful 🙁 especially on Christmas… There’s no advice you can give her that would be more useful than what her doctor will tell her. Just be there for her, be available to talk, maybe send her a happy card or email, and maybe a small gift. They may not be able/willing to cook in the next few days, so ordering takeout or something for them could be nice and can be done from afar.
The best thing that my good friend, who lives far away, did for me when I was down was text me a Skype date with instructions to bring a whiskey. We cheered over Skype and talked and cried and I felt so much better afterwards. Not sure if she drinks (she shouldn’t drink too much anyway due to the blood loss) but something like that could help.
I’ve read some threads on miscarriages on WBee and there’s a lot of really nice responses that could give you ideas of what to say. I have never gone through that but it may help to remind her that it’s not her fault, and that it’s a good thing (if the baby had been born, it might have had disabilities or problems).
Post # 4
Please tell her to hang on and stay strong. Light period bleeding might not mean a miscarriage. My mom swore she was miscarrying my brother and he’s 40 years old. Some ladies will continue to have periods their whole pregnancy long. I know her fears and I understand them all too well since I’ve had 6 miscarriages. I’m hoping that this ends up being nothing for her and that her fears will be proven unfounded tomorrow. I do very much understand as well that this could indeed be a miscarriage. In that case, just be there for her. Don’t try and fix it (you can’t), don’t try and explain it (you can’t), don’t try and make it better (you can’t). Just be there for her. Tell her how sorry you are. Pray for her and her family and offer her all the strength you can.
I’m so sorry for your friend to have these fears and worries especially today of all days. Many thoughts, prayers, love, and strength being sent her way. <3
Post # 5
I just had a MC a week ago, at 8 weeks. Honestly, in my case anyway, there teally isn’t anything you can say or do to help her along. It was the most emotionally and physically painful things I have ever gone through. She can go to the ER, but they won’t really do anything other then an US to check for baby. I started out spotting around 10 am and by 9 pm I passed the fetus… I sat in the ER for 8 hours :-/…. But think I would have been more comfortable at home.
Just be supportive of her and make sure she knows you are there for anything!
Post # 6
@candy11: I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago. And you’re right… It is much harder than I had ever imagined. It was the people that recognised that (and many dont) and were (and still are) there for me that I really appreciate. Thats all you can do for her now. Do as much or as little as is needed and keep letting her that you are thinking of her. I’ve friends who phoned/texted after it happened but I havent heard from since. I get that people are really busy but I guess they don’t realise that I’m still hurting. I have a couple who still phone/txt and let me know they are thinking about me… That really means the world to me. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend.
Post # 7
@arathella: @dodgercpkl: @graygodess20: @phoebephoebo: Thank you ladies for your warm thoughts and stories. I figured I can’t do much but be there as support for her. I was able to get an update yesterday, and she was at the doctor’s office doing some blood test. She was feeling down and couldn’t accept the potential loss, and I totally understand. Luckly I am going to see her in a few days, or at least I hope she feels well enough to have visitors. Thank you all!!
Post # 8
Update: My friend is pregnant again and seems to be doing fine 🙂 I’m crossing my fingers this is a sticky healthy baby for her. I’m so happy for her, and I kind of wish we were both pregnant at the same time. I have a feeling I’m out this cycle 🙁