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i am just so mad right now!!! i need to vent and maybe hear some other perspectives! first off, i am a regular user on this site, however, i prefer to post under my pseudo-name to ensure some extra privacy!
here is the back story as quick as i can tell it. i have a friend who likes to save abanonded cats. she will take them in, bring them to the vet and help them find homes or at least bring them to an agency who can help. Over the years she has taken in several cats herself. Currently, she has 4 cats and a dog.
ok, so five years ago, i get a call from her saying she has two cats that she found abandoned and would like to keep them herself. but she was planning a trip abroad and gotten her own two cats that she had at the time special shots and they were therefore under quarantine for four months and not allowed to come in contact with other animals. so my boyfriend (now husband) agreed to take the two cats in for four months as he had no pets. In the beginning she paid for food and litter. In the last month or two she stopped calling and coming by and paying for anything. my boyfriend got attached to the cats. so by the end of the 4 months, it was obvious she didn't want them anymore and my bf decided he would keep them. she finally calls several weeks AFTER the 4 month mark and says "omg, i never thought to ask if your boyfriend wants to keep them! does he?" so he agreed to keep them.
fast forward to last march. my fiance and i had to move across the country for one year for a job (as of last july). we knew we were coming back. my parents agreed to keep the cats in their home while we were gone. well i went home for the holidays, one of the cats had died :( it was very traumatic. the cat had gotten sick and then sadly died. the other cat was not sick but got fleas. obviously we were all upset by what happened, but i didn't blame my mom. my mom actually found out my father has been cheating on her and decided to divorce him and sell the house. anyway, there are a lot of details i wont get into, but it ended up being that my friend who we got the cats from 5 years ago offered to take care of this cat for the remaining 4 months that we were going to be gone. she took him to the vet for us and took care of him. this was a huge relief as our other option was to leave him with a stranger or fly him across the country for three months and then bring him back again.
well, we moved back at the beginning of July to a city about 6 hours away from our hometown. our friend then emails us out of the blue to offer to keep our cat for the rest of the summer. we thought it was weird and told her "no its okay, we are coming for her in July". so after a long road trip to our new home, we took up her offer to keep the cat until i had plans to visit my hometown this weekend (so basically she had the cat an extra 2.5 weeks). i told my friend i would be coming this weekend. well, last week she calls us to verify if i am coming this weekend and offers to keep our cat until mid-august when i have another visit planned. she said she is going to europe and wants to be able to say bye as she has now gotten attached to our cat. i said that weekend won't work as our car will be full of stuff and we are driving down with other people. it is better for me to pick the cat up THIS weekend when i come alone and have space in the car for a cat cage. i tell her again that i will most likely come this weekend and will give her husband a call to figure out a time i can come get our cat! (since she will be out of town).
ok, so friday afternoon i am in town. before i can even call her husband, he emails me to say that its better i dont come this weekend to get the cat because we all need to sit down and discuss how to care for the cat and it would be better to do it person and in two weeks when both my husband and i and his wife (my friend) are all in town! i was quite shocked to receive this message and replied by being as polite as possible and said we appreciate their concern, but i planned to get the cat this weekend, i have the cage with me and we prefer to come get her sunday evening (tonight). anything else can be discussed on the phone..... her husband also said that part of the reason they wanted to keep the cat was so my friend, his wife, can say a proper goodbye to my cat! so in my email, i said she is welcome to visit us anytime and its not like she will never see the cat again!
then her husband replies to me more harshly and says that he cannot let me take the cat this weekend with his wife being out of town as it is not fair to her after all she has done. he then offered to drive the cat to us next week (six hours away) when he is on vacation from work!
i was so beyond shocked by this reply, i didnt know what to do. my husband then emails my friend directly to ask what is going on (remember she is in europe now) and if there is something that we dont know about. he assured her we will reimburse them for any vet bills etc, and that she can visit anytime. he said he doesnt understand why her husband told me i cannot pick up our cat! SHE replies this morning with a super long and condescending email to me and my husband about how the main priority is the cat and we need to sit and discuss how to take care of him! and it is best that we have this "crucial discussion" in person WITH the cat present when everyone is together in two weeks! and if we can't take the cat then, then they will come to US with the cat to have this discussion!!!!
At this point i am flipping mad at how she is being so insane about the whole thing. I decided i need to get into their place and take our cat back ASAP. so i wrote back thanking her for her email and asked to then come visit the cat tonight since i had been looking forward to seeing my cat this weekend. she fell for it and tells me to give her husband a call.
so i went there tonight. the cat is fine, no more fleas, nothing. only seemed a little scared to be surrounded by 4 other cats and a dog that are running all over the place. me and her husband were civil and nice and made small talk at first. then i asked whats going on, we dont understand why you are not letting us take our cat home. i said its not their place to decide when i take her home etc etc. we ended up getting into a heated argument and resulted in me leaving WITHOUT my cat! i decided not to take the cat and run (as i wanted to do) because i beleive he would have blocked me at the door. his main reason was that he is afriad his wife will be mad at him for letting the cat go and she needs/deserves to be able to say a "proper" goodbye. i told him i thought the whole thing was very weird and we would never let them take care of our cats again! i finally left because he was VERY adament about the fact that he would not be letting the cat leave with me tonight. i asked him how do i know they will ever give the cat back, and he "assured" me i will get my cat back!
so now i am fuming mad, not sure what to do next and my husband is trying to tell me not to get so mad! he thinks we will get the cat back!
what do you think? am i over reacting here? am i not seeing something the way i should be??
i just needed to vent and hear some outside, unbiased opinions! thanks if you have read this far!
OMG this is crazy! I am an animal lover and would never deny someone from picking up their pet from my home just so I can say goodbye to it! I mean who do these people think they are? Animal cops?!!! Why didn't you call the poice? They basically are holding your cat hostage. I don't know if I am overreacting but I would be very upset. How horrible does she think you treat your pet? Obviously it's more than just her wanting to say goodbye to the cat, she thinks you are not capable of taking care of your cat properly, that is not for her to decide. If she has a problem with how you care for your cat she can call SPCA or whatever animal shelter to investigate you. Ugh I'm angry for you!
Sorry I feel like I just went in a rant about this but it got me fuming!
That is a really bizarre situation. I understand her getting attached to the cat, but the bottom line is that you are the owners and you can take your cat home whenever you please and for them to say otherwise is just ridiculous.
I don't know how close you are with this "friend", but I would have not left that house without the cat. You should just say "Listen, I realize that you have the best intentions for the cat, however I am not leaving here without her and if you don't let me take her peacefully I will get the authorities involved."
Threatening to call the cops may seem dramatic and will most likely end this friendship, however one of two things will happen after that point. 1. They'll give you your cat or 2. You will have to call the police, explain the situation, maybe show them the e-mails to "prove" the cat is yours, and take her home.
OR you can just let the cat stay there until this woman says goodbye. Which again, I think is ridiculous.
@xicaB: @MidnightSun: thank you agreeing i am not the crazy one here! i was wondering if i am really doing something wrong here! my husband and i are very frustrated and feel very insulted. my husband has taken care of this cat for FIVE YEARS!!! the only time there was a problem was when we left the cats with my parents. it was a sad situation i know, but that does not make US incapable of caring for our cat! not to mention i have also had pets/cats my whole life, so i am fully equipped with knowledge on how to care for a cat!
there are so many details i am leaving out too that make me more mad. to answer your question, i have known this friend for about 14 years!!! she is more friends with my sister, but we have had our moments of close friendship over the years.
and you know one of their reasons that came out for thinking they have a right to do this? they had the cat since April. so from April to July. during that time, like i said, i had my wedding, my parents split up, they sold our house, me and husband were living on the other side of the country, so much was going on....that we didn't call them on a regular basis. i heard thru my sister today and tonight through my friends husband that this was wrong on our part for not calling them more often to check up on our cat!!!! why do you think we didn;t call???? because we knew our cat was in a good, safe home, with fantastic people who will do anything to take care of animals!! we knew the cat was SAFE and if there was a problem, they would let us know!!!! we thought we could TRUST them!!! does this make us bad pet owners???
No it does not make you bad pet owners. April-July is a very long time but it still does not give them the right to take ownership of your pet. Who are they pet hoarders? I think its great she helps stray cats but she needs to do less worrying of your cat and let you handle your buisness.
Like MidnightSun said there are only two outcomes to this situation. You either call the cops and get your cat by force or you let her keep your cat for as long as she thinks is situable.
@frustrated: Simple- call the husband, let him know he has a deadline to get the cat to you, otherwise you are printing emails that are proof of ownership and coming over with an officer to get your cat. Your cat is your property (not very lovely thing to say, but its true). And as such he is STEALING your cat. Simple solution- and btw, no real SANE friend would do this- she's probably pissed off because you got to keep the cat due to her initial neglect and not wanting it, and now shes making it seem like you are doing the same to it as she did. Well she had the chance to own the cats and she didnt give a damn then- too little too late.
before we get the cops involved, i decided to stay in town an extra day. i was planning to go home tomorrow (monday) because my husband starts his new job on tuesday and wanted the car. i am currently staying with my sister and my husband and i decided i will stay an extra day...because my friend is actually returning from her trip monday night. so my husband will either take a taxi or subway to work for his first day on tuesday and i will go to my friends house on tuesday morning and get our cat back, then drive back all day. she will have her chance to say goodbye and tell me whatever she feels necessary to tell me face to face and then i am leaving with the cat. IF she doesnt agree to that, then we will consider either calling the cops or SPCA.
so ya, all this is going on because i wanted to take the cat tonight and my friend is getting back from her trip tomorrow night!!! excuse me if we can;t work around her schedule!!! i guess i am now, because there is no way i am letting her keep our cat two more weeks!
i also got some info from her husband tonight. for one, my cat no longer has fleas and does not need any more flea treatments....although in the super long condecending email she sent this morning, she made a list of things we need to discuss.
they included (and she wrote them in bullet form like i am about to do)
- flea treatments (like i said, apparently they are done)
- special food due to bladder problems (um, my husband and i paid $800 for a surgery for the cat 4 years ago because he had a bladder blockage and ever since we have been buying the expensive food for him that prevents this from happening again!!!!!! so thanks, but we got this one under control 4 years ago!)
- vet visits (um, she can tell us on the phone about what happened when she took him to the vet and how much we owe her! face to face is not necessary!)
- interactions with other pets (um, my husband had this cat with the other cat for 4 years, AND i do have another cat at home already that HAS interacted with this cat so we know they get along fine, WTF! and we jknow how to take care of, dare i say it, TWO cats, at the same time!).
- automatic feeding (not sure what she has to say, but my husband and i have been using automatic feeders for years as it keeps them on a schedule and gives the right measured portion twice a day!!!)
- what floor we live on (she even wrote "this will be explained, not to worry!" but um, nothing you say can change the fact we live on a second floor apt with no balcony and we have no intention of letting the cat go outside!!!!!! again, WTF!)
- important vet coordinates in our new city (she went on about she has a friend/vet recommendation for us - i think just to piss her off, we will find our own vet, thank you very much!).
@Bellanouva: I am with you
this woman is crazy and I would be thinking twice about wanting to to be friends with someone like this. who the hell is she to tell you how to care for your cat. Caring for a cat is not rocket science. I hope you get your kitty back keep us posted
@frustrated: ok, this lady is the definition of a crazy ass cat lady
WTF? Is this real?
@Bellanouva: lol, i read back my last post and i can see how you would think i am making this up. sadly, it is very real. i am also a little frustrated because my husband is not nearly as mad as i am! he is confident we will get the cat back and then we never have to see them again. i am just so angry that she thinks she can do this. AND i am mad i have to delay going home one night to resolve this. And i am worried it will still be a big fight to resolve this. i am afraid after the way i argued with her husband tonight, she will concoct some other reason why i can't take my cat back. but my husband said if it comes to that, we will call the SPCA. i guess i can't do anything until tuesday so i need to chill out and get some sleep.....but man its hard. thats why i came here to vent it out a bit!
Definitely a crazy lady. I hope you get your cat soon! Keep us posted.
@frustrated: Go go sleep- Im a premptive kind of person, and you have to be premptive with crazy (which obviously your friend is, sorry, but who the hell plays hostage exchange with a freakn cat? what do you need a freakn peace treaty and to give her visitation rights to get YOUR cat back?)- I personally think you should just email the husband and be frank- cat by the time your friend comes back. No discussion or fanfare from them- they have no right to talk to you about the cat- AND you WILL be bringing both a animal advocate and a police officer if they do not surrender your cat.
Congrats, I officially feel like a hostage negoiator. And in my camp we dont give into crazy ass demands.
Maybe you just have to agree to the sit down, grab the cat and just get out of there. This woman sounds crazy and you have every right to your own cat. Plus, it sounds like you don't need a lecture from anyone and you are taking care of your pet just fine. I hope it all works out!
oh, i am thinking to send this email to her husband now. can anyone suggest any edits or changes to it?
the reason i want to send it to attempt to smooth things over. So long as they still have my cat, i don't want to make them too angry and make the situation worse then it is! my goal is simply to get my cat back and then be done with them. until then, i dont have a problem faking an apology or what not if i think it will help. Of course i am not apologizing for wanting to take my cat home, but rather for getting so angry and arguing before! in all honestly, i kind of feel bad for her husband. he repeated himself several times tonight that he lets the cat go, his wife will be extremely pissed off at him for months and he can't deal with that!!! and basically anything he said was a repetition of the email she wrote to me this morning - he must have memorized it before i got there so he knew what to say!
ok, so this is what i want to email him now (and i want to email him so i can beat his wife of emailing me something nasty).
Hi Friend'sHusband,
I just wanted to apologize for getting all worked up before. Like I said, MyHusband and I find it odd that you and YourWife are refusing to let us take home our cat when we planned and informed YourWife we were coming for her this weekend. However, I do understand that you feel caught in the middle and I did mean to put you in such a difficult situation tonight. I don't feel I handled things the best I could. I will wait for YourWife to come back and will come pick up our cat then so she and I can discuss everything face to face.
- Frustrated
@MidnightSun: NO KIDDING! Man, if someone tried to keep my furbabies hostage? Ohhh boy. It wouldn't be pretty!!
I love my cats like children, I do.. but they're acting like they are LEGITIMATELY children who cannot be taken care of by just anyone.. WTF! Time to call the cops..
@Monkeyface: ya, thats why i decided to stay the extra day. one of the craziest things is that it was not just about her telling me how to take care of the cat. because seriously, she COULD do that on the phone. she could have left me a detailed letter. there are lots of ways to communicate information such as this. Tonight i asked her husband to just give me ONE good and valid reason why i cannot take home my cat tonight, especially since it is NOT THEIR RIGHT TO DECIDE THIS! He said "you want ONE reason, so MyWife can say goodbye to the cat, there is your ONE reason" !!!!!!!!!!! I swear my eyes popped out of my head when he said that and i had to put them back in before responding "that is not actually a valid reason" and i also said "YourWife comes to my new city sometimes, she can see the cat then" he replied with "she doesn't go there very often" !!!!!
but anyway, my husband and I decided we will let her say her goodbye to the cat AND she can tell me face to face everything she thinks she needs to tell me. i will sit and look at her with an annoyed expression on my face and then leave!
the catch is i am still refusing to do it on her terms. She thinks she will be ever so kind to drive my cat six hours to me next week OR i can take him in 2 weeks when i am in town again....NOPE, i will wait the 24 hours for her to return, tell her "ok, say goodbye to my cat like you wanted, then i am leaving!"
@MissHobbit: well, it is more complicated than that since she has been good friends with my sister since high school. i dont want things to get too crazy. of course, we will most definitely be resorting to those measures if i don't get our cat back on tuesday when my "friend" returns from her trip.
SEE COMMENT #14 FOR THE EMAIL I WROTE TO HER HUSBAND AND READ HERE FOR THE EMAIL I AM ABOUT TO SEND MY FRIEND! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK BEFORE I SEND IT!!
Hi MyFriend,
I am sure you will have spoken to YourHusband by the time you receive this email and I want to tell you (as I just did to YourHusband in a separate email) that I feel badly for how I reacted towards YourHusband tonight. I understand he was just doing what you asked and I did not mean to put him in such a difficult situation.
I also want you to know that after I emailed you this morning, MyHusband and I discussed it some more and we felt it was best that I take our cat home this weekend after all. We indeed felt it was strange that you seemed to be so strongly against this and so I still wanted to go see YourHusband and my cat tonight to get a better understanding of why you felt this way, and of course, bring home our beloved cat! Also, since we had spoken to you before you left for Europe and informed you that I would be coming this weekend to get our cat, we did not realize this would be such a big deal. When I had spoken to you on the phone before you left, we were under the impression that the only issue was when to coordinate with YourHusband since you would be out of town and YourHusband worked early Monday morning.
Anyway, after seeing YourHusband and my cat tonight I understand how important it is to you that we meet with you in person, as well that you have a chance to say goodbye to my cat!
So MyHusband and I have decided that I can stay in my home town an extra day and wait for you to come back from Europe before I take my cat home. I had planned on driving back to our new city Monday morning because MyHusband is starting his new job on Tuesday and was going to use the car to get to work. He has now decided that he is okay taking the subway or a taxi on Tuesday and I will wait in my home town for your return so you and I can meet in person to discuss everything you wanted. Also, so you can say your goodbyes to my cat :)
Therefore, I will come to your place Tuesday morning to discuss everything with you and pick up my cat. Please let me know what time is best for you on Tuesday morning, and I will be sure to be there at that time. (I do hope to be on the road by noon on Tuesday the latest.
Have a safe flight back!
- Frustrated
I've got two suggestions:
One would be to just agree to everything she says when you meet her, and then take your cat and leave. You'll be in another city, so it's not like she can hold you to anything.
The other would be to have them bring the cat to you in his carrier by Xpm (some arbitrary time hours before you actually need to leave). And then you can argue if you want, and you'd still be in posession of your cat, or if things get really crazy, you can just say "sorry, I have to leave now" and drive off.
Wow. I think your emails sound perfect. Your friend is nutty. Do whatever it takes to get your cats tomorrow night. Get those emails printed and then bring the police if you have to.
I wouldn't even send an email. If I were you, I would tell her that you are going to the house on Monday to meet her husband. Tell her you will have a police officer with you to pick up your cat. It's ridiculous that you have to work around her schedule to accomodate her crazy ass demands. You are much more patient than I, my dear.
@moara: that is pretty much my plan at this point. go listen to her and leave as quickly as possible.
@Talishazwi: thanks. i sent the emails and i hope to pick up my cat tuesday morning. if she doesnt agree to it, then we will bring in the cops or animal control or whatever we have to.
@amw511s: i know its crazy, but for my husband the most important thing is we get his cat back! (its more his cat than mine at this point). and honesly, by mean staying in town another day just means i get to spend more time with family adn friends. so its not that big an inconvenience. i tried to make it seem like it was though to her - since my husband wont have a car to go to work with on tuesday!
She sounds a little lunatic. Maybe she's taken her cat rescuer role a bit too seriously and feels it's her duty to lecture others on cat care to make sure they do things "right". I pity the husband. He has no spine.
I think you're being wise, letting her say her goodbyes when she gets back home tomorrow, and then getting the heck out of there, with your pet.
Oh no =( I hope you get your kitty back asap! I would have taken it and ran for the door while I was there... I'm so sorry, they seem nutty.
Wow, this sounds more like a custody battle for a child than a cat.
She's crazy. Grab your pet and run.
That is just crazy. Stand your ground and get your furbaby back! Let us know how it turns out!!!!
If the police need to be involved (that is who I would call to gain control of my cat if necessary) Then contact your current vet and have them fax over the past few years worth of vet records as proof that you definitely own this cat. They might need more proof than an email. Yes this woman definitely feels the need to lecture you on your perceived abuse of this animal which is why she insists on doing it in person. And she probably will not let you have the cat unless you agree to her terms. She will probably want to visit the animal in future and dont be surprised if she makes you sign something agreeing to her terms. In her mind you are a terrible pet owner and she has to make you understand the severity of your neglect as a "responsible pet owner should". She is trying to give you an intervention. Good luck with the crazy cat lady. Her heart is in the right place, but definitely not her mind.
P.S. Perhaps showing her all of the vet bills from the past might not be such a bad idea either.
Wow - you HAVE to update us as you can to let us know what's going on.
I don't have cats, but I have a baby of the canine variety and I seriously would have gotten into a physical altercation if someone thought they could keep me from her. I would have taken the little one when you visited with her husband there and dared him to physically prevent you from leaving with him.
Good Luck!!!
If I were you, I would print out proof that she is your cat, and go to the police station to give them a heads up that you might need their service. Then, if things don't go your way, walk out of the house, and call the police and wait for them to get there to remove the cat themselves. Then, never speak to these people again. This woman is cray cray and needs to be stopped!
thanks again for all your ideas. I will start by going to her place tomorrow morning as i know she is coming in tonight from her trip in Europe, so until then i can't do anything.
i did send those emails yesterday. i apologized to her husband, not for wanting my cat back, but for getting him caught in the middle and getting so worked up with him. i am actually not sorry and wish i had more backbone to attempt a grab and run, but i feared he would block me at the door and i didnt want to put myself in that situation.
anyway, so he wrote me back with more proof that they don't trust us and it makes me more mad! i just have to wait it out till tomorrow morning. this is what he said:
"Thank you Frustrated.
It is an awkward situation and I felt really bad also. I hope you both know that we care for YourCat very much and want to make sure he will be okay both physically and emotionally.
MyWife gets home late tonight so will talk either late tonight or tomorrow.
Take care"
ummmm, so that to me sounds like he is passive aggressively saying they are worried for the cat's physical wellbeing!!!!!! So i think Storm0075 is right in that she truly thinks we are abusive or negelctful to our cat or something!!!
@frustrated: And you write back "Well that's fine, but that's not how it works when you relinquish an animal to someone who agreed to take them in, pay their vet bills and care for them for 5 years. You gave up your rights to control his care the day you decided you were not keeping him anymore. If my cat is not returned I will be involving the authorities. Thanks."
@KatyElle: I can forsee one problem with that. The cat being "oops lost". I once had my cousin take care of a cat for me and when I went to pick her up that is what happened. Granted my cousin had her for a few months like OP so that my dad's German Shepherd wouldn't eat her....long story. She decided she wanted to keep the cat and there was nothing I could do. Unfortunately giving htem forewarning might give them time to prepare a way to hide the cat from OP.
@Storm0075: That's a good point, as these seem to be crazy non rational people. At the very least I think OP should bring a cop or animal control officer with her when she goes to pick up the cat.
OH, and i was just looking at old emails between myself and this couple....and she is totally wrong about her perception that we only communicated with her ONCE since April! yes, i beleive my husband only picked up the phone to call her once, but i found several emails, as well as facebook chat messages where the cat was discussed. And as i said before, because these people are our GOOD FRIENDS, we trusted them and certainly did not know they were secretly judging us behind our back!
i also found a glimpse of my friend's insanity back on June 27th. I had written an email to her on June 27th informinig her of all our road trip plans, when we were leaving and when we would be arriving in her city with the U-Haul. I said, we will stop by then (around July 12th) to pick up our cat.
her response then was something about how she knows i will be driving back and forth all summer between my home town (where she is) and new city (where we were moving to) AND we will need so much time to get settled into our new place. Between these two comments, she wrote this:
"Would it be okay with you if YourCat stayed here until August sometime? Now that I'll be off work (she is a teacher), i can spend proper time with him, and July is just too soon! Is that okay? Let me know if you would be amenable to this idea. I just can't bear the thought of him leaving so soon"
so ya, we thought it was weird at the time, but also thought "whatever, we will come get our cat when we plan to"
her husband had also emailed me separately at the end of June to say no rush for us to come get the cat as they are really enjoying having him around! He threw this in the context of another email as he was also helping us map out a route back for our road trip. Again, we thought it was weird, but i let it go and chalked it up to them trying to be extra nice and helpful.
So back in early July, during our road trip (like July 5). I thanked them for their offer to keep our cat longer and took them up on it for an extra week or two. I clearly wrote then that i will definitely be back to pick the cat up by the end of July the latest (as i knew for sure i was in town this weekend) or possibly sooner and that i would be in touch about it!!!
ok, had to get that venting off my chest. Just looking back at these emails, i wish now we HAD come to get our cat July 12th when we had out U-haul trailor full of furniture!
Man! I WOULD BE SO LIVID! I can see why you didn't take the cat and run but I would have. This is just ridiculous. I'm sorry you have to deal with such nonsense.
@Storm0075: good point. and i have not wanted to threaten them with the authorities so far because i am trying to treat them like crazy people and want to tread carefully. thats why i wrote that email to her last night about how i will wait the extra day so she have her goodbye (underlying tone i think says "i think you are crazy, so i will give in a little just to make sure i get my cat back and you dont do anything more crazy".
@KatyElle: i really am trying to avoid the cops at all. so i will give them the chance to just give me the cat after she has the chance to do what she says she wants (talk in person and say goodbye). If she doesnt give him up then, then we will put out all the stops. I like everyones idea about printing up all the proof that we own him (old vet bills and emails). maybe i will do that today so if need be, we can act quickly tomorrow.
i really am hoping i just have to suffer thru an awkward and annoying conversation with her tomorrow and that will be the end of it. And tomorrow i will not be afraid to take my cat and run! I let it go yesterday because i was alone with her husband and he was very adament. But i am not afraid of her like everyone else seems to be!
If I were you I wouldn't stay for her "talking points." As you pointed out it seems like they are saying that you and your hubs are neglectful, and I think that it might escalate the situation further for you to have to hear that type of verbage. It also might make it harder to get out the door with the little man. As it would seem like they think they're better parents, this "intervention" might be staged so they can keep him.
I would recommend bringing someone with you - probably of the male variety - both for emotional support and physical support if necessary. I'm saying a guy just in case the hubby tries to block your way. Also, that way maybe you can have someone distract them while you run out the door LOL :)
@SouthernTulip: believe me, i definitely plan to get out of there as quickly as i can. once i have the cat in my arms and a path to the door, i will be like "gotta go, bye!" i will make sure she says her goodbye first.
i wanted to bring someone with me yesterday, but no one wants to come! my sister is friends with her and doesnt want to get involved. my sisters husband thinks we are all crazy and that i should forget about the cat. my two male friends i saw yesterday and told the story to dont want to get involved and therefore didnt want to come,
my mother is offering to come, but i am not sure that is a good idea since it was in my mothers care that the cat got sick and i am afraid of what my mom might say or my friend to her.
so in the end, i think i will go alone and they physically prevent me from taking my cat, then i will call my husband and decide what to next - call the cops most likely.
I would have called the cops. Friends or not, my cats are my babies and if someone wouldn't give me one of them back I'd print the emails proving ownership and tell the cops they have catnapped your baby. I think with these crazies this may be your only course of action.
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