My friend of 24 years set her date the weekend before mine…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@nseguin86:  I would suggest still sending her an invite out of courtesy. It is up to you whether you want to send a gift. If she is your friend and you want to remain friends, I would think you would want to send a gift…or at least a nice card.

Post # 4
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@nseguin86:  you give gifts to show someone support and good will. You send invitations to let people know you’d be honored if they came- even if they cant.

Its not about the rules of etiquette in this case- which is quite letter of the law. What matters is what message you want to send to this person- that’s up to you.

Post # 5
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i think you should still invite her and send a gift. She has her own life and probably picked a date that was most convenient for her and her family. It is unfortunate that you cant attend each others weddings. But look at the positives you both are getting married around the same time and can share advice and plans. Dont let this come between you, make the best of it

Post # 6
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Flow:  This.

Her date most likely has nothing to do with yours. She chose a date that worked well for her & the people invited.

Since you are still friends , I would send her an invite and a gift.

Post # 8
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@nseguin86:  maybe she felt bad about setting the date close to yours. Probably didnt know how you would handle it

Post # 10
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why can’t you go to her wedding?

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it would be very sweet of you to send a small gift as a token of your goodwill!

Post # 12
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like she feels bad because she was avoiding the subject until now, maybe those were the only dates available? 2014 is supposedly going to be an extremely busy wedding year.

Post # 14
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@Horseradish:  It looks like the distance is roughly DC to Vegas. I can see why OP wouldn’t be keen to travel cross country the week of her wedding- I know I had a ton of last minute stuff I was doing- plus I wouldn’t have wanted to deal with time zone changes (took me a couple of days to get back on track from a California work trip last week.)

Post # 16
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@nseguin86:  

@rebwana:  if it’s something you really want to do, you’ll do it. My sister’s husband flew across the US on a three-connection overnight flight to get home from a work trip in time to leave to fly another 1000 miles for a friend’s wedding. It wasn’t fun for him, but he made it work. I’m just saying that if you want it badly enough, you can always find a way to make something happen, unless it is physically impossible (like two weddings on the same day 1000 miles apart).

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors