My friend offered a free venue for my reception, now there's strings attached!

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Rainstorm77:  I think you need to stick to your vision, and what you want, and if that means you have to pay for a venue – so be it!  Anything other than the aforementioned points will, most likely, leave you regretful, and no one deserves that after their marriage celebration!!

Post # 3
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

Rainstorm77:  Honestly, I would definitely thank them for offering but find another venue. If she is flaky enough to fudge the numbers and then an asshole enough to tag you in a Facebook post calling you a Bridezilla, then she/her mother may not be the most reliable option for you and your guests. 

Surely there are other venues in your area that could easily and affordably accommodate 25 people!

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Rainstorm77:  Have you tried talking to her mother directly? She might be more reasonable regarding your concerns/issues. If that’s not an option, I’d switch the venue – it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it when you’ll be getting almost nothing that you want.

Post # 5
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Don’t compromise on your vision.  Find a new venue and make it everything you actually want!

 

Post # 6
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Just tell her directly, “Thank you but now that I know more, I don’t think the logistics will work for an actual wedding reception. You do truly appreciate her offer though, but you will be looking for another venue to hold it at.” Do not compromise on your vision. It’s your wedding and you only get one shot at it.

Post # 7
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s been said. I would thank the mother for offering her apartment, but now that you know that you will not be able to seat your guests for dinner, you have booked another venue.

Post # 9
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Rainstorm77:  I wouldn’t want to hurt their feeligns either, but in the long run, you’re going to be more upset if you don’t do what makes you happy.  FWIW, she sounds kind of like a bad friend the way she’s heckling you & dismissing your concerns by namecalling. :/

Post # 10
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I’d be pissed off about being tagged Bridezilla on fb. Unnecessary! I would tell her thank you, but you are going to find someplace else. 

Post # 13
Member
2833 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Rainstorm77:  you get another venue, of course. This is not different that the Bees’ whose relatives try to control their weddings because they’re footing the bill. In this case your friend’s mother is footing the bill (i.e. not charging you) for your reception space and she thinks that means she can force you to serve chicken wings while guests stand trying to balance their plates. If you CAN get your own place, then do so. ASAP.

Post # 14
Member
3206 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Bow out before things get worse. Graciously thank them for their offer, but explain that due to the sudden restrictions you think it would be best to look for another venue. There should be no need for further explination on her part, but if there is, just be honest. Explain you had a vision about what you wanted for this event and you simply didn’t want to comprimise on that aspect. In these instances, it’s tricky to balance getting what you want with hurting anyone’s feelings, but just remember that this is your day, and she isn’t bending or making exceptions for you, so neither should you for her.

Post # 15
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hell no. A simple “eff you lying, conniving, name calling, jealous-of-brides, micromanaging b****!” Ok, maybe just in your dreams.  IRL MrsTtoB‘s lovely words will suffice and get your point across.  I’d also be sure to mention that they will of course be welcome at the new reception and call it a day. 

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