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Ok, I think this was just wrong and this is just my personal opinion. I recently went to my friends wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and everything was going great. My friend has been with her fiance for 4 years and the love they have for eachother is just amazing! Well during the reception, right after their first dance, her sisters bf went up and got the mic from the DJ. Duting this time, my friend and her new hisband were going around greeting the guests. We all thought he was going to say a toast or something. Boy were we wrong. He proceeded to read this poem he had written about his girlfriend (her sister) and then asked her to come to the dance floor. He proposed to her right in the middle of the dance floor and stated this was a great time to do it because "everyone was in the same place". So then everybody got up and came to congratulate them and the DJ played a slow song so they could dance to it. In the meantime, my friend and her husband just stood there because all the guests were over on the dance floor congratulating her sister. I looked over and saw my friend tear up (not because she was happy but because she was upset). The rest of the night everyone was talking about how her sister was getting married and how exciting it was. To make it worse, her sister, new fiance, and all her friends left the wedding 2 hours early (before the cake was cut) to go because she was "excited to start looking up wedding stuff online" and couldnt wait. I thought this was wrong and to be hoenst, if someone proposed to someone else at my wedding, I would be upset. What is everyone else's feelings on this?
I think how they did it was super bad form, but honestly, it wouldn't bug me if 1) I knew in advance and 2) they didn't leave!
FI's brother just proposed, and I am sure they will get a good amount of attention as a result at my wedding, but I'm really happy for them. Part of it, though, is that I'm excited to have her for a sister, I don't have a sister.
bad bad form! right before the first dance... booo to that. I can totally understand the bride's dissapointment.
I think it's a bit rude...
We announced to my fiance's extended family the day of one of his cousin's bridal shower. But we waited until AFTER the shower and the bride-to-be had left. The same day was also another cousin's birthday party, we made our announcement in between the two (during the tear-down of the bridal shower and the set-up of the birthday party). I didn't even wear my ring until after the shower was over and she had left because I didn't want to steal her thunder.
I would definitely be upset. There is a right and a wrong time for everything and they definitely didn't try to be discreet or tactful about it. I would probably feel bad about being upset and wouldn't tell anyone.
I don't have a problem with anyone proposing to someone else at the reception, as long as it kept quiet between the couple in question. But making an announcement to everyone in attendance is rude.
Although I think the bf should have waited til after first dance/toasts etc, I would be happy if somebody *close to me* got engaged at my wedding. I've been at a wedding where this happened later in the evening and it was really nice, actually.
That said - if my own sister left my wedding early to look anything up online, I think it would literally take me years (and lots of begging on her part) to forgive her. That's just insane!
Straight up BULLSH*T and beyond rude, not to mention TACKY. Sorry......but that is my honest to god reaction.
I would be upset, especially about the way they did it. Would I be happy if my sister was proposed to and excited about it? Absolutely! But there is a time and a place for everything. And to leave early? Now THAT is the worst part. "Sorry,sis! You're cool and all, and I sure am glad you got married today, but I have to get home to the internet!" Can she not control her excitement for two hours? Maybe she thought all of the world's wedding sites would implode if she didn't get to the ASAP.
Wow. My fiance proposed the day before two of our friends were getting married. We kept it really quiet during the ceremony and reception, and at the very end of the night, when my fiance was dancing with the bride, he told her. She came barreling over to me, asking to see the ring - she was thrilled. But we made every effort to not at all take the attention away from her. Planning a wedding is a lot of work, and I think the people who have spent the last year (or so) putting the day together deserve to have their moment.
There are three parts I can't believe:
If it were me I would shit a brick.
I would not be happy. The wedding should be about the bride and groom (or bride & bride, etc).
personally i would NOT be paying that DJ if he allowed that to happen without my consent THEN prolonged it by having them have a little dance.
sorry it might be vain but after all the planning i have done for this damn wedding, if someone did that to me, i would stab them in the heart with a spoon - cuz it will hurt more.
*humph*
Well, a quiet proposal would be one thing, and maybe even to be expected with all the warm fuzzy wedding feelings floating around ... but THIS was simply unacceptable on every level. To totally steal the focus from the newly married couple and then leave early! That is completely selfish and thoughtless. Make sure to tell your friend there's a lot of bees angry on her behalf!
I would be a little upset if someone proposed at my wedding. However, if someone did that at my wedding I would be really hurt and angry. It was very selfish on many levels.
I would be PISSED! I see the wedding as the bride and groom's party and you just don't take over someone else's party. I can't believe that the sister allowed the spot light to go directly to her and the guests stopped paying attention to the bride and groom.
A couple spends so much time, money, and energy making their wedding day happen. It would be inappropriate for someone else to steal their spotlight, and it would be rude for the proposer not to ask beforehand if the bride and groom minded. Although I'd feel happy that I created a romantic environment, I'd prefer the proposal to happen the next morning in the hotel room, and announce it over brunch. I asked my fiance and he feels the same way.
Good to know that people agree with this as much as I do! I would seriously be SO pissed off!
I answered "no," but truthfully I think it would depend on who it was. If it was the kind of person who has a tendency to hog the spotlight, I would be hurt that she was stealing my thunder. But if it was someone close to me, I would feel like our love inspired someone elses and that would make me happy. Maybe that's cheesy...but I think that's how I would react :)
I agree with the others. The scenario you described, would definitely irk me. I would not mind about the private engagement. if someone asked to propose at my wedding, I would probably offer, if they were ppl I was close to. And I would allow them to do this, towards the end of the evening. (Hey, it's kind of neat to have an extra spark when the evening is winding down.)
NOw I wonder, will your friend say anything to her sister? The sister was certainly at fault for leaving, and being self centered at her sister's wedding. However, I'm assuming that the sister had no idea the proposal was coming at the wedding. Hopefully she would have poopooed that if she had. The bf, unfortuantely being a guy, probably had no clue it would be terrible form. He probably thought it was the best idea in the world.
I guess if I had a close relative who was in a a relationship, with some hint of a possible proposal, I would make some specific rules for the DJ. Ya know, this is something DJ's should just know, don't ya think?
if he HAD to do it that day while everyone was there, he should've at least waited for the end of the night! and after their planned last song of the night.... then talk to the bride and ask see if it was ok to make the announcement and have one more last song dedicated to the sister to have their little spot light at the end of the event.
so wrong, so so wrong. I'm so sad for your friend. I hope she and her husband can return the stolen special moment by announcing something of their own at the sisters wedding.
Omg I'd be so LIVID. That's just wrong. I get that he was excited, that he wanted to share that moment with people that are close to her. But that is so inappropriate. The night is about the new couple ONLY. I'm kinda heart broken for your friend :(
I would be pissed. Completely unacceptable. Karma would be is if the current newlyweds announced they were pregnant at the sister's wedding.
My FI has made it VERY clear that he is instructing the band NOT to pass the mic to anyone without our approval. He feels that proposing during someone else's day is rude and I tend to agree. It's 6 hours of focus on 2 people in love and it's cost them alot of money...it's not your time to share the spotlight.
Wow. That is unbelievable. How awful. i feel so sorry for your friend; that was incredibly inappropriate. Just, beyond belief.
I probably would've said, "are you effing kidding me?!" very loudly if that was me. Yikes
Ditto what everyone has already said - there is a courteous and respectful way to do this, but this is an example of one of the worst ways to go about it.
I'll also add: this is what a DOC is for. Ours is a bulldog about enforcing the flow of events the way they're supposed to go, and she'd be sure to sniff it out if something like this were in the works, and make sure to clear it with the bride before any mic was passed to anybody.
that is terrible....like some of the ladies said, maybe announcing it at the very very end of the wedding or a few days before the weedding, but using it as the proposal?? and not to mention when he did it?? i would be upset and im a very easy going person. also, i dont know if im being out of line here, but im a little blown that he used someone else's hardwork and romantic atmosphere to do this. he sure got out of planning a night with his own money and time..... i think it was horrible timing. i would hope the sis had no idea though, and possibly was a bit, astounded as well...maybe it was just a man-mistake. hopefully.....
One of my fiance's friends asked me if he could propose to his gf at my wedding.. Absolutely NOT! I'm not planning our special day to make a great backdrop for someone else's proposal.. I didn't think anyone would do such a thing!
Why do some people think they need to have all their family see their proposal? And why don't those people propose at a holiday dinner?
Wrong, just plain Wrong. There is no excuse for such bad behavior. I can't believe the parents didn't intervene.
I think that proposing at someone else's wedding is in poor taste anyway, but the way he did it makes it even worse - making a huge scene, having a special dance, and leaving early...thats terrible.
i personally would have been okay, but can definately understand her feelings being hurt. and the part about her leaving early is complete bullshit!
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Unless you get prior approval from the bride & groom, it is grotesquely rude to hijack a celebration that somebody else has spent months or years planning and saving up for. Seriously. Want to do it in front of everybody? Fine, plan and pay for your own party and put some effort into making your own special moment rather than stealing somebody else's.
And I totally agree with whoever said they hope your friend has a pregnancy to announce at her sister's wedding.
It would only be appropriate if the bride and groom knew about it first and were ok with it. It's their day and I think a wedding proposal is rude. Nobody likes a thunder stealer.
This same topic came up last month, I think. It wouldn't bother me. It's not just MY day, it's a day for all of our friends and family to celebrate with us. If our wedding inspires another proposal, I think that's kind of awesome.
But I agree that the way they went about it was pretty tacky.
Nah, it wouldn't bother me. As long as they didn't do it before the ceremony. At the reception? No biggie. I would be a little upset if they left early to "start looking at wedding stuff" though.
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