(Closed) My friend’s Wedding was called off! :o(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Been there and done that (broken engagement, no wedding, etc). What I needed the most was for people not to treat me any differently… it was insane the way my engaged friends were at the time. It was like they didn’t want to talk weddings at all with me so I felt like I was being left out!! I think that if she doesn’t want to talk about weddings etc then that should be up to her, but you can still ask if she wants to go dress shopping with you or to the florist or that type of thing.

Post # 4
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

How very sad, but at least she can move on with her life without having to go through a divorce. Definintely ask her if she’s comfortable with helping you with wedding stuff, and be sensitive even if she says yes.

Post # 5
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

As sad as it is, it’s so much better that she found out now than after the wedding. I think that this month would be hardest since her date just passed, but I think crebre80 made a good point about treating her normal.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh how awful! Definitely just avoid some wedding talk with her and drop by and check in on her, but don’t treat her like she’ll just fall apart. She wants you to probably forget a little

And I hope she and her family get their money back..unless he signed all those papers himself, it’s hard to say whether or not he’ll actually follow through and cut them a check because legally, whoever signs those papers is financially responsible. I know because I signed all of *ours* and the place told me that *I* would be held responsible as the signer since he was deployed

Post # 7
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

that’s so awful.  what a jerk.  yeah it’s better it happened before the wedding, but it would have been nice if he figured it out before the engagement! DUH. jerk.  oh wait i already said that.

Post # 8
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

How about take her to lunch and  maybe get her a massage and you two could have a girls’ day?  She will talk when she’s ready and you’re one amazing friend.

I agree (having been divorced) it’s best NOW she not follow through rather than this guy hold whatever it is inside for a long time and them divorce later. 

 

Post # 9
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would generally avoid wedding talk, unless she asks. Maybe share the link to the There Goes the Bride forums:

http://theregoesthebride.com/msgs/index.cfm

It is sort of like WeddingBee for women who’s weddings have been called off. It might help her to connect with people who understand.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

True, but at least it was for the shower and that was fun….it’s not like it’s the caterer =]. That would sting more I think!

Post # 12
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s great that you all went on the trip together for some much needed relaxation and fun.  My heart goes out to your friend, I can’t imagine how she must be feeling.  I think you’re smart just to be there for her, whatever she needs.

Post # 13
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Avoiding wedding talk for the most part is a good thing, but make sure you absolutely definitely don’t bash her ex – She was engaged to him too and had made that commitment to be with him. When people bash the ex, the person begins to wonder, “what was wrong with me that I choose someone so awful?” It’s really great that you are trying to hard to be a good friend to her. I’m sure she really appreciates it.

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