- 6 years ago
So FI and I are on the phone with future step MIL last night. FI dad died a few years ago and she controls all the assets and likes to throw it around. Last night was one of those convos, how she is having a party because (deceased husband) would want this to happen and asked for it. This party is on the FRIDAY-the weekend of my wedding. It is to celebrate the grad of the grandkids, who are flying here for the wedding. I get it, but holy moly, she goes on and on about how she is flying the kids out, and paying for the party…the point is, we have things planned for the wedding weekend and were calling to share so she didn’t plan anything else, and also to keep her in the loop.
Then she drops a few bombs, like this:
“Saturday morning idon’t know about us all going on a picnic-Me and future SIL and other SIL and her g-daughter are all going to get nails done at the salon”
me: (learning from advice her on wedding bee and also just a bit miffed here) Why would I not be invited to this as well? I would love to be included in time spent with MY future SILs (Who all live accross Country and are only here for the weekend).
She backtracks; Oh, nothing is set in stone, we all just talked about it.
FI: Well, then is her D invited as well?
She says “Oh, um, yes, we can do that”
My future BIL’s wedding invite
“I was talking to future SIL/BIL and they told me they didn’t get their invitation. Oh here I am , being the nosy future step MIL, but you should call them to find out if they did or not”
Me: We are really suprised to hear that as we sent it to the new address the future BIL provided. We are also not mind readers-if they didn’t get it, we wish they told us first…we will call them tonight
She then starts changing her story about the Friday party. Origionally, she sent me an email talking about how the two SILs are planning it together, me not included.
My feelings are, she is trying to stir up SH! and something is up here.
Early on in the wedding planning, she caused a lot of problems because she went on and on about my FI ex wife and kept comparing the planning to elements of theirs…and it caused a pretty public argument. We had to have a serious chat with this step MIL and she seems to have calmed down, but I used to get along with the SILs and it isn’t like me being excluded from party planning, nail salon trips…
Oh, and the kicker: We asked future BIL if their little girl would like to be in the wedding. They weren’t sure if they were coming but then future step MIL offered to fly them all out. So we found out, on FB, about this 2 weeks ago.
Apparently they were also talking about us saying to her “Well, they were going to ask our D to be in the wedding and now that we are flyign out, haven’t heard anythign from them yet”.
Why not call us to let us know you are actually flying out?
Again, it sounsd like there is a bit of a gossip monger in the mix, trying to stir the pot–maybe she is still upset about our chat. Who knows. this is the one who believes in being friends with everyone, including my FI ex wife.
Thoughts bees on how to handle this moving forward?
FI is also totalyl on my side with her-he can’t believe her and she likes to also drink and then have these wonderful chats.