(Closed) My (gay) fiancee wasn’t invited and they included registry info. Rant.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Buy her the worthless item no one ends up using…

Post # 4
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Send a card congratulating her?  Include a picture of you and your fiancee?

Post # 5
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree, card only.  I’d be sure to write on there “Sorry (fiancee) and I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you.” 

Post # 7
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@seven12:  I like that idea!

Do not feel bound to get her a gift – if she purports to be an etiquette queen, then she knew full well that what she did was a giant breach and insanely rude!  Sorry you have to deal with that dear 🙁

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

You could gift her an etiquette book with passages highlighted…

No, just get her a card from both of you and be done with it.  A Wednesday three days after Christmas??  Methinks someone is going to have a “premature” Catholic baby…

Post # 10
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Call it.  “Is there and oversight or error, because the way I see things now, I’m really hurt.  Why would you invite me to celebrate your marriage and not even acknowledge that I’m engaged as well?”  If she doesn’t freak out in embarrassment at an honest and awful error, I wouldn’t even send a card.  No one needs people in their life that don’t respect their family, IMO.

Post # 11
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would definitely send a card and take the higher road.  Just because she isn’t being the greatest human being doesn’t mean you have to lower your self-worth (not saying you are, just trying to prevent it).

My “safe” gift for weddings is an 8 x 10 picture frame.  If the registry is a bit steep or if there isn’t one I always go for that option.  I always choose something classic and wedding-y but not too wedding-y.  Last time I did this I found a nice Lenox one for $20.  Just something to consider.

Post # 12
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MASPA:  I guess I wouldn’t see sending a card to someone who would not recognize my marriage as taking the high road.  That would mean that I was permitting my spouse (FI in this case) to be disrespected to keep someone else comfortable.  

Post # 13
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i would send her something liike pot holders that dont match her kitchen lol.

Post # 14
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

@jacinda10: I don’t know the sitch but

1. Does she know that you are in a relationship/engaged?  If you have fallen out of touch, then why would she have invited.  EDIT: It seems as though she should know.  I definitely would talk to her and ask what one of the PPs suggested.  If she is uncomfy w you being there because of your sexuality, now you know and you can dismiss her from your life.

2. Not completely directed at you, but this thread seems to border on Catholic bashing.  I would implore you to be mindful of your tone.

3. Yeh, she’s not up on her etiquette.  Womp.  I never feel inclined to get someone a gift if I don’t attend the wedding btw.  If I do, I do.  If I don’t I don’t care.

Post # 15
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Jokes aside, did she intentionally leave your fiance off the invite?  I mean, if she knows your engaged, then she’d have to know you’d attend together.  Maybe there’s an oops here that wasn’t a slight? 

Post # 16
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Are other SO’s invited? Maybe her guest rule is married or no plus 1s. Maybe its not intentional.

And some people on here say that they always receive registry info with their invites. Maybe its common in her circle of friends?

I would probably try to think about the above quesetions before jumping to the conclusion that your fiance isnt invited because shes a girl. If she had such a problem with homosexuality, why are you invited?

Just another perspective. You may already know the answers to these though.

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