(Closed) My gosh… how many of your grooms…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: When it comes to his bachelor party
    it was fine! : (45 votes)
    80 %
    There were things I didn't like, but no cheating : (8 votes)
    14 %
    It made me feel awful : (1 votes)
    2 %
    It ruined us, at least for a time : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My guy knew I didn’t want him to have one, and he didn’t.

    He was a bouncer in a strip club during college, and I heard too many horror stories. He attended one where the groom and one of the strippers actually had sex!

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    NOTHING went wrong at my husbands.  The boys got together, went paintballing, barbequed, and watched the fights on TV.  Not a single stripper, club, or anything.

    I think the biggest thing is you need to be open with your fiance about what you’re ok with and what you’re not.  If he knows, he will better know how to respect them.

    Don’t worry… it doesn’t always happen! : )

    Post # 5
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    DH went to the Bahamas for a week (!!!!) with his guys. The worst I heard about was naked jetskiing, LOL! There were no strip clubs, no crazy parties, just guys having fun. It was 100% fine.

    Post # 8
    Member
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think if a guy is going to cheat he’s going to do it whether its his bachelor party or not. I think most of them get it in their heads that since they can longer have relations with any other woman after that day that someone they’re not in a relationship that one particular night. I don’t know how this logic works but…

    We actually plan on all going out together, MOH, BM and his friends that came from out of state. He hasnt seen many of them in years so it will be nice to hang out all together before the wedding plus they’re all bringing their wives so its going to be a joint thing. We’re not really club people so I think we’re going to Dave and Busters and for some reason if things go crazy we’ll ALL be going to the same strip club together. No misunderstandings to be had.

    Post # 9
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @sweetpea1031: What it comes down to is that his actions are his decisions. If his friends get out of hand and try to force him into going to a strip club, he could simply say “Thanks but no thanks” and walk away. Unless someone physically carries him in and straps him to a chair, his actions and presence is his decision. Hopefully his friends are respectful of his wishes for his bachelor party and the boundaries and ground rules of your relationship. So long as you and he have an understanding of what you’re both comfortable with, it’s up to him to make sure that happens.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3295 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i know that guys cheating with strippers is not the norm… my fi will prolly go to a strip club with his buddies and i am fine with that. we have talked about boundaries and he knows what crosses the line of okay and not okay. i think as long as you communicate to your fi your expectations, you will be just fine, and if you arent fine (ie he cheats or whatever), well you prolly shouldnt be getting married anyways.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    DH went golfing, then casino, then a 1 hr stop at the strip club (i approved), 2 lap dances, and back to the casino 😛 i was more upset about the $600 he lost gambling (his savings/play money) 😛 

    all in good fun, no hanky panky, and no drama 🙂 rest assured, your FI will not disappoint u!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    My fiance will have a bachelor party but NO STRIP CLUBS.  He finds them completely degrading and pure trash.  Thankfully, I don’t have to convince him of it.  Unfortunately his best man likes strip clubs (in fact, the best man is from Ft. Wayne like @stephanie63087, she can probably attest that there are like 15 strip clubs in that area).  Thankfully we live no way near that area, so it’s improbable of the best man to take Fiance there.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I didnt know how to vote because none really pertained to my situation. I said things I didnt like but no cheating but the things I didnt like were NOT sexual or other woman related at all. The thing I didnt like was that my husband spent a SHIT ton of money and gambled and lost a lot of OUR money without letting me know and I was upset about that. So dont let my vote sway you please!!! My husband did not go to a strip club for his bachelor party but rather got into boy shenanigans and his friends tried to get him to go to a strip club but he just doesnt care for them. However he has been to strip clubs before (including once with me) and he says he feels uncomfortable at them and they are awkard! I dont think you have anything to worry about as long as you and your fiance are open and honest with one another about expectations and comfort level!

     

    EDIT that I did not read your actual question until after I voted so again sorry for swaying the vote because I would have voted it was fine!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree with Cheeks.  A bach party probably won’t bring out a cheating side unless he was already a cheating type. 

    My husband went camping, paintballing, white water rafting, kareoke???.  Apparently where they went camping the only bar around was a kareoke bar and apparently he sang quite a few songs.  So it was fine, I thought maybe his brother would try to somehow get a stripper in there somewhere but he didn’t, which was nice. 

    Out of my husband’s friends who have gotten married only one had anything stripper related.  It seems like it’s not as popular of a tradition anymore.  But his friends say they don’t really see the point in spending lots of money on it, they’ve all been and just thought it was not fun.  My husband didn’t even go to the bach party that had the strippers because he thinks it’s just really weird.  But even at that party his friend ended up leaving his bach party because he got bored at the strip club and went to hang out with his FI at the bar for her bachelorette party.  She was happy to have him but I think surprised to see him from what she said. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    FI and the guys are going to a lake house.  BBQ, paintball, video games, etc.  I am not worried at all.  It’s on a Wednesday night, and my 13 year old brother is going.  No sweat.

    I don’t think I’d be nervous even if they were going to a strip club.  I trust him with my entire heart.

    Post # 16
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    my FI and just moved away from our family and friends and will only be seeing them in Jamaica for our wedding, so no opportunity for bach parties

    BUT my FI does not really have many close guy friends who throw him a bach party (he has moved around a lot over the years).  so even if we were living back home, then i would have insisted on a double (co-ed) party, obviously NO strippers!  Only I am going home for the holidays and having a bridal shower, but my FI is likely going to his parents hometown, so in the end, there just wont be any bach parties and i am fine with that. i made it clear to my BMs i don;t want one unless my FI is there as I find the underlying concept of them to be a bit odd and don’t feel the need for one.

    ALSO, my FI is a wonderful man who even if he did have a large group of male buddies, i trust he would respect my wishes.

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