Post # 1
Please, if you believe in a higher power, pray for my grandma. She is not doing well and will not make it much longer. She is 97 and has lived a long full life, but she has always been so vibrant and full of life.
I live in the US and she lives in Canada. I am trying to get an enhanced driver’s license, but it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get one. And she might not make it that long. I just spoke to her last week, and thought I had time, but I don’t think I do anymore.
She has always been who I wanted to grow up to be. She has been my rock. I don’t know what I am going to do without her. I was so looking forward to her being at our wedding. Now I don’t know what I am going to do…
I am so sad and can’t stop crying…
Post # 3
I’m so sorry. Do you think there is any way that you can go out there and visit her so you don’t regret not being with her later?
Post # 4
I’m so sorry. 🙁 I thought if you had a passport, you could just drive in? I drove from the US to Canada about five years ago, but maybe laws and regulations have changed…in any case, I will keep you both in my thoughts. Big hugs!
Post # 5
Thank you MissAsB and Statutory_Grape. The problem is that I don’t have a passport or an enhanced ID/License, so I am not able to cross the border. The laws have changed since 9/11, so without one of those, you can’t get across. I used to be able to just use my birth certificate and regular driver’s license.
The laws were made mandartory, I think, this past July.
Post # 6
Oh that’s horrible! And I know that passports take months even when they are ‘rushed’.
Post # 7
It is horrible. I am so sad that I can’t do anything more than what I already am.
Post # 8
Oh sweetie I’m so sorry. My grandmother was 95 when she had a stroke and passed away last summer. I know what you’re going through. I was very close with her as well. There’s really nothing I can say to make it better. You’ve said that she’s lived a long and full life, so try to keep that in mind. I know it’s hard to think of someone so lively (even in her 90s! My grandma was the same) being sick, not doing well. Know that she’s excited for you, that she’s proud of you, and that she loves you. I’m so sorry you’re not able to go see her.Could you get an emergency passport? Maybe if you found someone in the passport office or the enhanced drivers license office who has a heart and would be willing to help?
Just cry when you need to sweetie and let FI be there for you. I still get upset about my grandma and DH is wonderful just letting me cry and get it out. It’s all you can do.
Is there anything one of us Canadian Bees can do? Maybe we could deliver a message to the hospital for you?
Post # 9
Thank you bakerella. I am sorry for you losing your grandma. A passport would take, even longer to get than an enhanced driver’s license, even an emergency one. I can’t get to the driver’s license place, until Tuesday because they are closed Sundays and Mondays, but I will be there first thing. I have all the paperwork ready. I will just have to go through the interview process and see what they can do for me. I know I will be crying, but they are so stodgy that I don’t think it will help much, if at all.
FI is being super sweet and trying to console me, but there isn’t really much he can do either. I am trying to hold it together, but it is hard, as you know.
My mom passed away 11 years ago and now my grandma…
Thank you for your offer of help. She was at home as of this morning, but I have tried to call and there is no answer, so I don’t know what is happening right now.
Right now, I don’t even feel like having a wedding. She is the matriarch of our family and it is very important to have her there. I know she would want me to continue on with the plans though. I just need to take a break for a bit, I think. I don’t know. It is what keeps me busy.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry! My thoughts are with you and your grandma and I hope that you can get your enhanced license soon enough to have a bit more time with her. Wishing you the best – we are here if you need us. Hugs!
Post # 11
@noritake22: What’s your grandma’s favourite thing to do? Or her favourite movie? I would do or watch whatever that is and just send happy thoughts her way while you do it. Take a break from the wedding planning, I agree. Even just a day off will help you. I know you feel guilty having a wedding and thinking about this happy occasion when you know she’s not doing well and that’s okay. Keep in mind though how happy she is for you that you’re getting married!
My grandmother had her stroke right before we got engaged. We were leaving for a trip when she was in the hospital, it was very back and forth as to the outcome, but my parents forced us to leave. I am so happy I was able to see her though and tell her that I thought DH and I were getting engaged on our trip. At that point she was still pretty responsive (to me, although sadly not to other family members) and she squeezed my hand, stroked my thumb and a tear slid down her cheek. It makes me choked up right now to know that she was excited and happy for me even if she couldn’t verbalize it, I could feel it, and I knew. I could hear exactly what she would have said. She passed away after we got back, I was able to see her a couple more times but by that point she wasn’t very cognisant of what was going on around her.
I carried her photo in a locket on my bouquet and I know she was with me. A couple of days after the wedding, DH and I put our wedding clothes back on and visited her grave as well as my other grandma in her nursing home (she has Alzheimers and was unable to make it). We brought each of them flowers and photos from the wedding. It was hard that neither of my grandmothers could make it, but I know they were each excited, proud, and happy, so try to keep that in mind as best you can sweetie.
I hope you get somewhere with the licensing people Tuesday. It sounds like getting an emergency passport in the States is harder than in Canada. DH was able to get one in two days here, but maybe they make it more difficult too if you’ve never had one.
Post # 12
Prayers sent. I’m so sorry.
Post # 13
I am sorry. I will be praying for all of you. I hope that something works out so that you can go visit her.
Post # 14
Sending all good thoughts your way. I am so, so sorry. She is lucky to have a granddaughter who loves her so much. I know that’s no consolation now, but it is the truth. Is there a family member who is nearer to you who can be your point of contact? Someone you can call up to find out what’s going on, hour-by-hour, and (if possible) to put you in touch with your grandmother?
Again, you have all my warm thoughts. I never knew one of my grandmothers, and the other passed away a few years ago, but I will be wearing one ring from each of them on my wedding day and my bouquet will be pinned with a butterfly brooch from the one I knew and loved. I hope they will be there in spirit.
Just know that she knows how much you love her, and that you know she loves you. Those are the most important gifts two people can ever give each other. Hugs.
Post # 15
I’m definitely sending all my thoughts and prayers your way, I know how hard this can be. I just lost my grandpa in February to colon cancer. He lived in Arizona, and I’m in Minnesota, so I hadn’t seen him in about 3 years when he died. And I’m the only grandchild on that side. I had always imagined him being at my wedding, but he will be there in spirit. We’re having photos of all of our family that has passed, and remembering that they are with us in spirit even if they can’t be there physically. Just remember all the great memories you have with your grandmother, and my thoughts and prayers are with you 🙂
Post # 16
You will be in my prayers…you, Gram and your family. I just teared up at my desk at work reading this…I’m so sorry you have to go trhough this right now.