My grandmother is offended because…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

That’s really strange, I’ve never heard of a grandparent walking a bride down the aisle, when there is a parent alive to do so.

Does she normally get over things pretty quickly? I hope so!

Post # 4
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

Just don’t give in to her emotional blackmail (which it doesn’t sound like you are). People like that will do everything they can to get their way. Try and avoid her during your big day too because it will be likely she’ll say something irritating and judemental just to get under your skin and you don’t need that. Good luck dealing with her!

Post # 5
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

@jenilynevette:  off topic slightly, but my mother had her grandfather walk her down the aisle. her father never sent child support and abandoned her mother. her step-father was abusive. Her grandfather is one the the best men to ever live. So there are certain situations when that happens (but this is not the case for the OP, so as I said slight off topic)

Post # 6
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@blueEyes90:  Well, yeah thats understandable. I guess I should have said “active in their life” instead of alive.

Post # 7
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

That is strange, does she try to take control in everything? I only ask that because you said that she offered the jewelry your mom wore which seems strange that she has it instead of your mother since your mothers Alive to remarry your step dad? My grandma is quite as dramatic but I’ve learned she really likes to be the one to know what’s going on. I would sit down or write a nice letter to her. Explaining that you are having your stepdad and you apologize for not letting her know. That you appreciate your grandfather but it doesn’t seem like the right role for him. Is their another way to honor him? 

Post # 8
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@SouthernGirl:  The only time I’ve heard of a grandfather walking a bride down the aisle is if he was literally the only father figure in her life. That’s obviously not the case since you said you have a great relationship with your stepdad (better than your grandfather even). I would just tell your grandmother that tradition states that a stepfather will walk you down the aisle in the event that your bio dad is for some reason not able to do so. She may just appreciate the fact that you’re going by tradition since that’s a big deal for the older generation.

Post # 10
Member
7285 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What a drama queen and indian giver. She’s is out of line thinking your grandpa should have the honor. Your the only with the right to make that decision.

Post # 11
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

She just sounds whack. I wouldn’t sway your decision at all on this situation. If she decides you can’t wear the earrings so be it, but definitely stand your ground on having your stepdad walk you down the aisle.

Post # 12
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@SouthernGirl:  I think that sometimes you have to accept that some family members will never be able to be there for you the way you need them to.  It’s good that your grandfather is handling everything maturely, and your grandmother sounds like she would have found something else to be offended about even if your grandfather walked you down the aisle.

Post # 13
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SouthernGirl:  do not give in. do whatever you want to do. when the day comes, it will be all about you and your FH. your grandparents will be just another couple of guests. no different than anyone else. so do what YOU want to do. when you look back on your photos, you want to see yourself walking down the aisle with your stepdad so make that memory.

Post # 15
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SouthernGirl:  Ive had a similar issue with my mum and FMIL over flower girls. Im We’re not having flower girls, we’re having a flower granny. Only because apart from my FH’s cousins boyfriends niece or my mums bestfriends grandadughter, I dont know any young girls. But still, both mums weren’t happy. When it comes down to it, Its our wedding, not theirs..

Post # 16
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

@SouthernGirl:  She offered you money, but with a condition (getting rid of your pets)? Honestly she sounds a bit controlling. She offered to let you borrow some things from your mother… and now her condition is that you should ask your grandpa to walk you down the aisle.

 

I would brush it off and see it for how ridiculous it is. 

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