Post # 1
My grumble for the day.
Why do people say, “It’s about time.” When someone gets engaged or announces that they are getting married? It’s so freaking annoying, especially when you know nothing of their circumstances.
Ever since we announced that we are engaged/getting married, I’ve heard the “about time” response so many times. It’s getting on my nerves. Yes, we’ve been together a little over 16 years and we’re “finally” getting married. Big deal. The reason that it’s taken this long is that before this time, we never had the money to get married. Every penny went to rent and bills, and then saving to move to our current location.
It doesn’t bother me if someone knows our situation and they’re joking, but if it’s from people I’ve never met (friends of my dude’s parents for example) and they know nothing about our situation, I think it’s incredibly rude. It’s the same when people announce that they’re having a child. I’ve seen that happen so many times too. It’s like, “Gosh, I’m so sorry that I’m not operating my life by your made up schedule.”
Sorry. Just had to vent. Anyone else feel this way though? I know that I have an odd temper and sometimes the weirdest things anger me, but someone has to feel the same way…..right?
Post # 2
I get it… I would only say “it’s about time” regarding a freaking raise or promotion. I don’t know why people can’t say congrats and leave it at that…
Post # 3
Moneyfoot: I do not understand people AT ALL. When a person tells you they got engaged/married/had a baby, the ONLY appropriate response is “Congratulations!” (or “I’m so happy for you!”). If you are thinking about saying something else, DON’T. This is not etiquette rocket science.
Post # 4
Moneyfoot: It is extremely insensitive, but it won’t end at the engagement/marriage part. When you reach milestones in life, people think that your life is like a celebrity’s and fit for discussion/extremely personal questions. I was only with my DH for two years when he proposed, and I still got the “Finally! It’s about time!” comments. Now that we are married, I get “Are you going to be a mommy soon?” comments. Keep in mind that these people do not know me at all as my friends/people that know me know that kids are just NOT my thing. I still find it insensitive – what if the SO is dragging his feet? What if you are infertile? What if there are health/money problems that need to be taken care of first? Not everyone has a the perfectly scheduled white picket fence life! I totally get you!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Easton's Beach Rotunda Ballroom
Moneyfoot: I sadly have way too much experience with this! my future husband proposed to me on our 11th anniversary — and we’re getting married two weeks after our 12th.<br />Thankfully a lot of the “about times!” have been tongue-in-cheek and good-spirited but it can get super annoying.
We’ve been engaged now for about 7 months and thankfully those type of comments stop and people are just excited to hear wedding details. Chin up and keep on smiling 🙂 When things get super frustrating just remember you two love each other and that’s all that matters!
Post # 6
I understand and empathize. My fiance and I dated for 8 years before becoming engaged. I went to school for 7 years and found I just wasn’t ready until recently. We, too, received a lot of “about time” and “finally!” responses. I agree it is a little tactless, particularly because it comes across as sarcastic and almost a critique rather than a celebration of the ocassion.
A few responses/ideas to consider:
-couples who are together for longer likely better know their marriage will last (sure, a couple can get engaged after a year, but their likelyhood of divorce is significantly higher)
-you can completely ignore the comment (think of it like bullying; bullies want a response) and simply restate how happy you are to be engaged to someone you love so much
-in my experience, people who made nasty comments are unhappy in their own lives or jealous (which was obvious); friends and family who were truly happy and supportive simply responded with “wonderful news!”
My last thought it this: people will always be critical and judgemental, which says more about that person than it does about you (and your lovely fiance)
Post # 7
Oh my gosh!! Thank you all for your kind and helpful comments! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who finds this annoying. During the 16 years, we were more concerned with getting our education than fretting over getting married at the “perfect time”. My dude now has his PhD and it starting his third year at a job he loves. I’ve got my BS degree and I’m considering going back to earn my masters.
During our education, money was very tight. We didn’t even have money for some cheap rings. And both of our families are not wealthy, so no help there. And we figured as long as we were just together, it didn’t matter.
I’m so glad we found others who understand this. My dude was getting annoyed by it as well.
Post # 8
My bf and I are about to get engaged and I just know we’ll get a ton of those types of comments since we’ve been together for about 10 years. I have heard people say type of thing to women especially. It’s like they think all women are expecting or wanting a ring and wedding after a certain amount of time. I am completely unconcerned about the amount of time it took us to get engaged. I wasn’t begging for an engagement and giving a timeline or whatever. Personally, I don’t think getting engaged is that big a deal.