(Closed) My healing journey – pt. 1

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m so sorry for everything πŸ™ Keeping yourself busy is a great thing to do πŸ™ you WILL find love someday (or it will find you) sometimes the best things happen out of the worst situations. Maybe for now find love with an animal (they sure know how to fill a void and make you feel whole again), If you are super busy get a young cat so you can have a cuddle buddy when you get home (you will not be a crazy cat lady!) or get a dog because they are amazing too. I hope your upside down world turns for the better soon, but on the Bee you have lots of people who are here for you and care! Focus on YOU, maybe travel since you havent seen the US. And you DONT have a big X on you, because love will find you. Feel better… *hugs!

Post # 5
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think key to your healing will be coming to an understanding of why you keep swinging and missing with these guys. It’s true what they say,  one time is a mistake but two times is a pattern. If it is a college town maybe there is a free clinic or other opportunity for counseling?

Once you figure out what it is that is driving you into the arms of these bad dudes, you will be ready to let love find you again. People can and do get remarried after multiple divorces -it happens ALL the time. Yes, your dating pool will be smaller. But that just makes it easier to find the one you’re looking for.

And while the failure rate for 3rd or 4th marriages is very high, that’s because many of those people haven’t taken the time to figure out why they keep choosing bad partners!

If you DO take the time to do that, before jumping into love again, you will have a BEAUTIFUL love life ahead of you. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@nyscpa2be:  Just wanted to send you a (((hug))) and let you know that I’m proud of you for moving forward with your life.  It is hard, but you will be okay, I promise.  I’m in the process of divorce and go through periods of deep sadness as well.  I really try to surround myself with positive people, keep myself busy, and reflect on what I can do differently in the future to attract the right type of partner.  I also really love quotes.  There are a ton of great ones on Pinterest that keep me thinking positive.  Here is one of my favorites right now…

Post # 8
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@nyscpa2be:  Everything is going to be ok.  I know this sucks and boy, do I know depression.  But, as George Harrison said,

“Darkness only stays at nighttime,
in the morning it will fade away.
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time.
It’s not always going to be this grey.”

I’m proud of you at taking steps to move forward and become the best you you can be.  When you learn to find strength and love for yourself, you will no longer feel the need to cling to whatever love you get.  You will no longer fear being alone because you will always have your love for yourself to give you strength and confidence. 

I wish you the best of luck and my heart is with you!

Post # 9
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Are there chaplains at your college?  They quite often organize group events, and it sounds like you take some comfort from your church.  Also look into clubs that interest you on your campus, they usually hold events as well and it’s a good way to get to know others without putting the added stress on you of having to ask someone if they are interested in doing something.  Try to become friends with a group of people, as it sounds like it’s something that may help you a bit.

Post # 10
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry you are going through this. First of all, do not think that being divorced is a social stigma. Divorce is a common occurence in our society. You cannot let it define or dictate who you are as a person. If someone judges you solely based on that, then they are not worthy to be in your life. Second, as you’ve been through two very traumatizing relationships, it sounds like you are in desperate need of some ‘me’ time! Take this time to get to know yourself as a strong, independent woman, not as a divorcee. See this not as the end of something but as a chance to start over, stronger and better than before. 

Big hugs and take things one day at a time! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 11
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@nyscpa2be:  I understand πŸ™ you are a strong woman and you will power through, I am truely sorry for what you have to deal with though!

When I am down (and I mean REALLY down) I read “a stolen life” by Jaycee Dugard… Nothing compairs to what she went through and she survived and IS HAPPY!! If she made it through hell, so can you. (Im sorry if that is not something that would help you, but it always helps me… She is amazing)

Maybe volunteer at an animal shelter since you would like a dog but cant have one?? 

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