- 5 years ago
Sorry this is so long but I’m so depressed and confused I could really use some advice… or at least a hug 🙁
Bf and I have been together for 6 years.
The past 2 years have been hard, a lot of friends and family have been getting married…except us.
I’m 28, he’s 30. I want to start trying to have a family.
His biggest excuse (or reason) for why he hasn’t proposed, is money. We’re struggling a lot right now.
I used to work for a jeweler, so I contacted my former boss and found out I could get my “dream ring” made up for $1,000. Told the Boyfriend or Best Friend about it. Afterward he told me to “stop talking about it” because it would “ruin the surprise.” YES SIR! I shut my mouth. Well….A year later? Nothing.
Ok…? Once again, he said it was because of money.
A few months later, I needed surgery.. I was in the hospital for a week and very very sick. Everything turned out fine, I was sent home a week later to recover, and I thought FOR SURE, it’s gonna happen a couple months after (on our anniversary) because we just went through a traumatic experience together and stayed strong, he’ll see it as a prime opportunity, right???
My dad is 70, and really sick. I want him to be there when I get married. I want to give my parents grandkids. I have expressed all of these emotional needs to my Boyfriend or Best Friend over and over again, for years now. He says he understands.
CUT TO LAST WEEK: Big fight. Big blow out. Another one of our friends got engaged. I had a meltdown. A MAJOR meltdown. I felt like throwing up. In the middle of the fight, my Boyfriend or Best Friend goes “OK YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU ON CHRISTMAS. THERE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”
I went numb. I felt stupid… but then… I was angry.
He just gave himself an out. He just gave himself another excuse NOT to propose.
He’s very analytical/logical and not emotional, so is if a surprise gets spoiled, it never happens; because it’s ruined so there’s no point in it happening anymore. I don’t care if I know it’s gonna happen, I’ll still be happy! But HE cares. He wants me to be completely 110% surprised. sigh. So now I’m almost positive that it’s not going to happen, and it’s ALL my fault.
The only problem is: I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been waiting for so long with him. I cant handle yet ANOTHER year passing…
I’m afraid of Christmas. If it doesn’t happen, I’m almost positive my heart will just give up. Check out completely. Break off.
I’ve never broken up with someone before…I don’t even know if I could bring myself to do it because I love him so much. But I know that I deserve to be with someone who wants the same things as me/has the same goals. Getting married and having a family is priority #1 to me. To him? He doesn’t care either way.
Please, any advice? I’d greatly appreciate it…