Weddingbee boards

so before i start i want to say that i know the most important part of the day (3 days to go!) will be that i am marrying the love of my life but here's the thing....

FH and i talked about what we wanted. (we are catering our own reception) and his parents decided they were going to take care of the food and would not let us pay for it. well, we decided we wanted ham and turkey amongst other things..and little baby potatoes. well, without even asking us and a week before the wedding it was decided without us that they were making chicken and ham. and i just went into the kitchen and i see big round potatoes. not the small ones i wanted (yes they taste different) and that's not all. there will be crock pots. i specifically said i hate crock pots (no offense to anyone using them i just dont like them) were having fish too. did FH and i talk about having fish? no, they decided that on their own. apparently they didnt "know it was a big deal"..just like bridesmaid dresses not being the color i wanted or the groomsmens suits not fitting "arent a big deal"..I'ts a big deal to me! It's our wedding. Shouldnt we be happy? and FH's sister already told me that i'm being a bridezilla so i fell that i cant voice my opinion because then im just being bridezilla and theyll think i dont appreciate what is being done for us. and that's not it. i do appreciate it but i also read other bee's posts about how their day was overtaken by other peoples decisions m and they had no say in what happened and in the end of course theyre happy because you got married but youre not happy that nothing turned out the way you wanted it.

oh and today FSIL who is a bridesmaid and her husband is an usher (our church is very small and due to this he will have to show people where to sit and to walk down a certain aisle, and he has never been in the church) said "is it really a big deal if he doesnt go to rehearsal?" yes! i mind!

i actually feel like a bridezilla now because i am so unhappy but at the same time i have had so much go wrong and i just want things to go right now that it's actually here. not to mention i am on birth control and it makes me super emotional and cry all the time.

a small list of things that have gone wrong

- i said the only day i couldnt have my bach party was on a fri because i work sat. and what day was it planned on?..a friday. and i was not told until last minute.

- then, MOH was texting on her phone the whole time.

-MOH grew in the bust so we had to swap from blue dresses to black at the last minute (also incurring a $40 charge for a sash)

-MOH didnt show up to my last dress fitting to learn how to tie up my dress. and she was late to a few other appointments.

-MOH never paid us back for her dress like she was supposed to.

- FH tux was ordered in the wrong size and now everyone is waiting til last minute to go try theirs on.

- i planned the wedding myself. MOH was never around

-FMIL took over our food and changed it without telling us

-everyone wants to wear black to the wedding (this is not a funeral!)

So i guess i just dont know what to do. i know i am feeling stressed in general because it is so close... and we only have 3 days! but i just feel like i want to say something but if i do everyone will think i am a b***h...

do i just let it go and let every one else have their way or say something (tastefully, of course) and stop feeling so miserable

how do i deal with this?

Did you let your inlaws know before hand what food you wanted, like did you actually sit down and make a list with them or anything? That would really upset me too, if I didn't get the food that I wanted at my own wedding :( As for your bachelorette party, I don't understand why they would have made in on a night where you have to work the next day. I would have been FURIOUS to the point of not even showing up!  You should definitely be hounding your MOH for the cost of her dress, send her an email or phone call whatever, maybe she just needs a reminder. I don't think you can control what color your guests wear to your wedding tho, how do you know everyone is going to wear black?

@ Bostonsmom- we discussed exactly what we were having. and i have asked my MOH numerous times for money. she came to the dress appointment knowing we were getting the dresses and "forgot her money" or just didnt bring any. in the almost year it's been since we got them, shes given me $15...and i know i cant control what my guests wear. that was just one more thing to add to the list. my nana wanted to wear all black. i have a cousin wearing all black. my photographer wanted to wear mostly black. and a few other relatives i know will be wearing mostly black.a lot of black in clothing is just a color i associate with funerals.

@kperry3

@farmgirl- i know it could be as simple as changing it but then its like FMIL thinks we dont appreciate what she's done. thats the vibe i get. and we could change things but returning food and what not is a pain and its just frustrating that we were never asked in the first place. and really wouldnt have known until we showed up at the reception but i saw the chicken in the freezer

Girl, I understand.

I just learned of a couple of friends who at the last minute won't be attending my bach-happy-hour. Another couldn't tell me to my face that she would have to leave early because it is her and her boyfriend's anniversary.

A couple of weeks ago, FH tried to take our music selection in a completely different direction despite me creating a playlist. I lots my cookies on that one.

Hang in there! Don't get too caught up in little things, just enjoy your FH and the fun you're going to have that day!

Just get a pillow and scream really really loud into it! I think once your married, you'll be so happy to be with your HUSBAND that some of these things won't seem so big! :)

I know these things are stressing you out (it would bother me too) but I hope you enjoy your wedding :)