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Okay so, we found the perfect apartment. Beautiful, never been lived in granite countertops, hardwood floors and just slightly over our budget. Basically it was amazing... but they don't allow pets. I have a cat that I absolutely adore and my husband wanted me to get rid of her so that we could move in.. I refused and he got mad saying he couldn't understand how a "cat could be more important then me". The cat is not more important than my husband but I do love her very much. She keeps me company while he is at work (all the time).
So my question is would you have gotten rid of the cat or am I right to stand my ground and not abandon her. I'm sorry, but there is no way I'm taking my kitty back to the pound to be put to sleep!
Um, NO! Sorry, but I take my pets very seriously, and I would never consider getting rid of them just to be able to live in a different apartment. Never, never, never!
Frankly, if the apartment doesn't allow pets then that rules it out in my not-so-humble opinion. Don't let him guilt trip you, which is what he is trying to do.
I would never get rid of a pet for an apartment. They become like children to you - no way, no how. It's not that kitty is more important than him, it's that kitty is more important than one apartment out of thousands.
Thats how I feel... When I adopted her I was adopting her for the rest of her life! She is my baby and I know I would be so terribly depressed if I had to part with her, especially to go back to that disgusting pound 
He told me something that really disturbed me... he said that when he was a kid if his father decided he didn't want a pet anymore he would drive into a nice neighborhood and abandon it. Needless to say I just about bit his head off. I mean, who does that? I guess we were just raised differently... I mean, my mom had the same siamese cat for 17 years.
He also called me "weird" and "overly emotionally attached to an animal"... It was a very upsetting conversation to say the least. He really wanted that apartment, mainly because he wanted the free 40" plasma flat screen they were giving away for signing a year long lease. Hell, I'll buy him a freaking flat screen if he wants it that much!
I would not get rid of a pet for an apartment. For that matter - when I was dating, I broke up with a few boyfriends over differences of opinion regarding pets. I just knew long term I could not be with a man who couldn't embrace pets in the home.
Well he ended up giving up and saying we would keep looking, I really need to get her fixed. One of the biggest things that bugs him about the cat (besides the apartment thing) is the fact that she is always in heat because I am scared to take her back to the vet. This cat has come a long way, she was so scared when we brought her home she hid for 3 weeks; we never saw her once.
Our agreement was that we would keep looking and I would get her spade. I still feel like he is a little mad at me but it is what it is... it isn't like I went and adopted the cat without taking to him first. We picked her out together! Like I said, I think it is just a difference in raising. Definitely not worth divorcing over though! lol
If someone is willing to get rid of a pet at any time just because it gets them something else that they want....they shouldn't ever get a pet in the first place. As you said, a pet is a lifetime commitment, and the fact that you take that seriously says a lot about your character. Clearly, he was raised with very different values, which isn't really his fault, but he's wrong on this one and you're right. It would be incredibly irresponsible and selfish to get rid of the cat in favor of an apartment. I LOVE my cat and so does my husband and I know we'd do a lot and sacrifice to ensure that he never goes back to the kind of environment we rescued him from. Our home is his home...wherever it is. Good for you! Stay strong!
I would never get rid of my dog for an apartment- and cats are WAY easier to rent with than large dogs! You made a commitment, and you love your cat. If my FI told me to get rid of the dog for a nicer place (he never would, thankfully), I would ask if he wants to marry the kind of woman who makes a lifelong commitment (in this case to my dog- to provide him with proper care), and reneges on it when a nicer and more convenient opportunity comes along. I'd also ask if he really wants to marry the kind of woman who isn't really willing to make sacrifices for those she loves. If you're willing to sacrifice a nice place and to work hard to find something that works for your cat, imagine how much you're willing to sacrifice and work for him!
We never told our apartment we had a cat- they never found out!
Good choice to keep looking. Pets are not disposable; they are a commitment that lasts the lifetime of the pet.
Now we live in a house, but when my fiance and I lived in an apartment, "pet friendly" was our top priority, no way would we even consider getting rid of our dogs!
@jamiemichelle- it sounds like you have a win-win situation! You can find a place that works for all of you AND you get to enjoy the benefits of a spayed cat. No more heat cycles (they can be SO annoying), and no unexpected kittens (and cats can have a ton- I worked in a spay/neuter clinic, and they can actually become pregnant again VERY soon after giving birth), no guilt if she does have kittens (since you'll never feel like you contributed to the problem of pet overpopulation- which is worse for cats than for dogs), and your kitty is more likely to live a longer, healthier, life! Awesome!
@tallbride... we considered just sneaking her in but because the whole apartment is pet free we figured it was too risky, I mean they would have a thousand dollar deposit that they would keep! The ladies who run the place are insane and all up in everyones business, another thing that turned me off about the place. They would find out and evict us... they're just like that. We have friends that live there and say they're nuts.
Thanks ladies you are all making me feel better! I didn't think I was being "crazy" I just thought I was being a responsible pet owner.
@hedgeknits... I know! like I said I was putting it off because I felt like I was was doing what is best for her but I know I'm not. Although she is an inside cat and has never been outside, there is always that chance she could slip out. I can't wait till she gets done with that yowling for good cause it is annoying! lol
I would never give up my cats for an apt! Or for any reason other than health or safety, really (or if I somehow really wasn't able to take care of them any more, like out on the street type event).
I can see why he may have a different point of view if that was the behaviour his parents engaged in, though. IMO, that's really really terrible - just dump the pets out somewhere, even if it is a nice area. What are you teaching your children?? No wonder your FI doesn't understand your position - that actually makes me really sad for him.
ETA: just saw your post about the not spayed thing - I've never had female cats, but my males were not neutered til they were almost 2. Worst mistake I have ever made (pet-wise) - if an unfixed female is half as annoying/smelly/ruin anything you ever left on the ground, then I suddenly have lots more sympathy for your partner!
When I adopted my two cats, I adopted them for their entire life. I really think it's crappy of him to say that to you. I'm glad, though, you both are looking for another place.
My partner was the same towards animals as your partner seems to be... that was until we got some finches... and then more finches lol now i cant get him away from the cage LOL I'll come home from work and he'll tell me all these little stories about what each finch did that was funny LOL it's cute! and i love that he has feelngs towards animals now
he had it in his mind that animals didn't have feeling and couldn't understand why i was so upset when my rats died a few years ago... that wasn't until one of the finches died a little while back and he was very heartbroken.
I'm not sure how you can deal with the situation... maybe surprise him one day when he gets home from work with a flat screen tv for him... lol maybe find other apartments that are just as nice but pet friendly so show them to him.
Hope everything works out
We would never choose an apartment over our dogs, so I understand your side completely! One of DH's friends moved into a complex that wouldn't allow dogs so he had his put down. I lost all my respect for him after that and DH has definitely distanced himself from that person (DH prefers dogs to most people so this really hit him hard when his friend made that decision).
@mountainbride omg! That is horrible! By taking my kitty back to the pound I feel like that would be exactly the same thing though.. they put cats down like crazy =(
On one hand I am still a little upset about his whole position about the situation but I can understand that his dads pet values were a little whack and that is really all he ever knew. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels the same way about their animals... I swear she is almost like another child! thats the other thing... she puts up with our hyper/ rough kiddo like a champ! lol
good for you for standing up for your cat!!! so many times, the man wins and the pets end up in shelters :( It's just a difference of opinion, and I know my bf isn't as fond of animals as I am, but I would NEVER let him get rid of one of my animals or talk me into it, there will always be other apartments. I'm glad he backed down and realized how important the cat is to you. I'm sure if it were something that meant a lot to him, he would understand, but some people just don't understand the value of pets.
There's always another place to live! It's irresponsible to get a pet and then abandon them because you want to live in a place that doesn't allow pets. You are totally doing the right thing.
awwwwwww your child is so cute, really adorable pic! That cat is a true champ lol, not many can put up with kids like that!
Im so sorry your being put into a situation like that! Keep the cat...I cant believe he is even giving you that option!!!!
Um no. My puppies are my children (just as they are to my FI). You're not picking the cat over him you're picking the cat over a stupid apartment. He needs to grow up and quit acting like a child.
The cat is not important than your FI--the cat is more important than the APARTMENT.
Yeah, sorry, your FI is acting like a 5 year old. No wait, 5 year olds love their pets too much =].
Find out where he stands on his values...my dad actually told me to put my cat down when his medical bills hit $1,000 for ringworm. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Some people share very different philosophies about animals...be prepared for that. I'm an 'adopt for life' sort of person though. My boys are family!=]
Glad you stood your ground, and he realized that you were right. Hubs has the same emotional attachment that I do to our animals, which is why we decided we had to buy a house now instead of renting (we have a pit bull). Pets can be like children...hope you find another apt soon!
I dont think you are crazy one bit! I tell FH that WOULD pick the cats n pup over him any day! I have an aunt who paid almost 3k per pill for her sick dog. He ended up passing away anyway :(
I would never give up my cat for an apartment! My fiance knows that me and my animal friends are a package deal.
I WOULD BE HOMELESS! before i would get rid of my cat!
also, little story for ya...FMIL hates cats and doesn't understand why I love them. Fiance and I have 2. They are my best buddies. When I met fiance and we began dating, he told me he was allergic to cats, so I said "sorry, this can't work" At that time I didn't have any cats, but I NEED to have a cat. Call me a witch if you like. Turns out he isn't SO allergic. Cause he is fine with living with them and cuddles them all the time...So I was relating this story to FMIL last time I was at her house and she said "what if he had said he couldn't live with a cat" and i told her point blank that I would have stopped seeing him. Well she was floored. Totally bewildered and she said "what if all the guys you met didn't want cats? would you just be alone?" and i said "yes. what i need a man for anyway?"
She didn't like that much. Lol. But it's all true. =)
oh my goodness, i'm only half kidding when I say that I'd throw my husband out before throwing out my cats. Actually, if he put me in that position, I'd throw him out. ha! No, pets are not negotiable. There are other apartments out there, and a pet is not a thing you own. it's part of your family and when you adopt it, you adopt it for life. And if something TRULY IMPORTANT comes up that forces you to rehome the cat (say, baby is born and has severe allergies), you must put in a LOT OF TIME to find it a proper home. You wouldn't throw your baby out the window, you can't throw a pet out either!
Go with your gut! Despite a beautiful apartment, I would never want to give up my animals just for a snazzy place to live! He'll get over it if you decide to pass on it--there are plenty of apartments that allow cats.
Have you asked the apartment owner/landlord if it's ALL pets? I know most apartment complexes don't really want dogs on the premises, but cats are usually easier and usually go unnoticed by any other tenants.
It doesn't hurt to ask. :) I hope things work out for you and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Anyone who has pets knows its a responsibility, and you can't just give them up when things get tough--it's like giving up a kid when they aren't behaving. :( Good luck!
U made the right choice...and i would be more offended that he does not understand ur love for ur cat..we have 2 cats together and they r our babies when we shop everything is "cat approved" We both love leather furniture but gladly gave it up knowing the kittos will scratch it :)
Ur cat is part of ur family for some reason i remember Ohana "nobody gets left behind or forgotten" :)
i hope u will find the perfect place and have all ur family member there..and IT IS not the perfect place if u have to give up ur baby :)
My pets are like family to me... if they don't go - neither do I! When we moved into our house recently, I told the landlords that if they didn't like my dog - consider it not a deal. They agreed to take the dog for the first time in rental history. Keep your cat!!!! She is not disposable!
I would not give up a pet for an apartment any more than any other family member. Some places do not allow kids, and I certainly can't see people giving up their kids for a place. BTW, I run an animal sanctuary and I deal with people's cast-a-ways every day. Humans really disgust me sometimes with the idea that pets are disposable. My poor husband lives with over 30 cats! I told him from the very beginning that he better not make me chose between him and the cats because he would be the one to lose!
I have three precious children that some call dogs... I would never give them up for granite!
Pets are the only children I will probably be able to have. I am glad he gave in, but please get your cat fixed! It is actually better for their health and a lot less annoying for you guys. Definately look into vets in your area and get recommendations.
Good luck with the apartment hunt!
You made the right decision keeping the cat. I'm with the other ladies that have tossed men to the curb over pets. I was dating one guy for 6-months and was really into him. He asked how old my cats were and I said "6 and 11". He said "Oh good! Only another 10 years or so and maybe we can get married." It took me awhile to realize he meant my cats would be dead by then, so I broke up with him on the spot.
My FI loves kitties. When I met him he was heart broken because he had to have his kitty put to sleep after eighteen years of having her. It has been over two years now and he STILL mentions his kitty cat constantly and wishes she was still alive.
Unfortunately he's used that to pull at my heart strings and now we have FOUR cats, but honestly I love our furry brigade of purr machines. They are all good boys. Though the annual vet visit of $1500 we pay is less than ideal (two dental cleanings, 16 shots, de-worming, blood workup for the two oldest, and antibiotics for the kitten. Honestly it was the best round yet this year at $930!)
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