My husband HATES his job … and I'm not sympathetic

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh my god, I could have written your post, so I can’t give you any advice. I get that work can be stressful, but that’s why it’s called work and they have to pay you to be there. Plus, this isn’t a forever thing, it’s a temporary one.

I am really just posting to tell you that you are not alone…I would literally feel EXACTLY the same way. Maybe we’re both bad people? :p

Post # 3
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

mchitt329:  as adults, we have to do things we don’t really want to do. Having a roof and food, trumps career comfort. Period. 

This is harsh, but I’d tell him to yank up his skirt and grab his balls (I have a twisted sense of humor), because what he’s doing is contributing to the security of your future together. FREE healthcare for my family alone, would be enough for me to wade thru shit with a smile. 3 months is NOTHING in the grand scheme of a year. 

This is one of those times he needs to buck up and know that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t the train coming at you, its a happy, secure and comfy future.

Post # 4
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This is all new for him. Being away from you, away from his everyday routine life. I think you need to be a little sympathetic, hea the one with the huge lifestyle change.. While your still doing your daily routine… 

He needs to understand tho, that NO ONE ever loves their job, and at times can’t handle it. It’s just a bump in the road… And will pass. Be supportive of him, but reiterate that he was so miserable before he “went on the road” and this is a good change up.

Post # 5
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

mchitt329:  If his job is making him so miserable that he cries when he has to leave then it is not worth it. He needs to find something else or go back to what he was doing before. 

Post # 6
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Contemporary Art Center of Peoria

I really agree with everyone above. I don’t have a super similar situation, but FI hates his job. He’s been there 5+ years, longer than we’ve been dating. But now I’m at the point where I’m just hella annoyed when he complains. Like, you don’t like you job? You know what you have to do; either get out there and find a new one, or change your attitude! 

Sorry, I can’t help much! Atleast it’s only for 3 months! It will go by super quick. Maybe leave cute notes or little gifts in his car for him to find when he goes on trips? 

Post # 8
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee

I am not sympathetic either especially considering our economy.

Personally, I hate my job as well (although I dont passionately hate it).  But, I know I am so much better off than so many other people and there are many folks who are unemployed.  While I understand how it can be tough, it is what it is.  I work so I can provide a better life for my children and have a blast on the weekends (and on vacations). 

Post # 9
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

posted on wrong thread

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  cpick.
Post # 10
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

mchitt329:  That sucks but keep reminding him that it’s temporary! (3 months right?)

My job is ok, sometimes I enjoy it and sometimes I don’t but I don’t look for fullfillment in my career because there are so many other great things in life to be fulfilled by! Most of which cost money which is why I HAVE a career 😉

So I think it’s ok to not LOVE your job but it really shouldn’t take such a toll on a person that they break down and cry thinking about going. Luckily it sounds like this is temporary for his work so chin up!

Post # 12
Member
3531 posts
Sugar bee

mchitt329:  I don’t know, he sounds like he’s never done this before, and you honestly need a little more patience with him.  Your his wife, you’re supposed to be supporting him not berating him.  True he’s an adult, and yes not everyone loves their job, but without any further background, to me this sounds like his first adult job and you’re annoyed with him because all of a sudden he’s been thrown into a new routine, a routine that doesn’t involve you.  He has to be on the road several days by himself, can he communicate with others?  Is he provided a cell phone?  Because if he’s being a trucker, that life is hard, not only this, even if it’s not hard for you, you need to understand it can be hard on him and you need to be more understanding.

My husband works at a job that wont’ get him anywhere, and if he complains I let him complain and we both talk about how this job we currently have isn’t the one we’d like to have but it pays the bills and allows us to live comfortably.  Do I get annoyed or exasperated and go “Thanks for everything you do, shut up about it now?” No, because a relationship is about supporting each other even in the hard times.  So take a step back and look at how is situation is, not just yours.

Post # 13
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

MrsBagel:  I had two windows open and type a reply in this one that was meant for the other window

Post # 14
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

mchitt329:  I have no advice, because DH and I are experiencing something similar! But I don’t think you’re being unsympathetic towards him, you cannot both be in the gutter about this. One person needs to be the strong front while the other one gets this season in life to mope a bit. It sucks, I’m sure he recognizes that he needs this job– but the adjustment period is just taking it’s toll on him.

I impose a time limit– DH gets 15 minutes to complain about work and then after that, we don’t talk about it anymore. No sense on dwelling on it, we both know no one is quitting and complaining isn’t changing anything. This may not work for y’all, but it helps us to stay focused a little and not spend 2+ hours complaining.

Sorry, I have no real advice but wanted you to know you’re not alone… along with sara_tiara 🙂

Post # 15
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Contemporary Art Center of Peoria

mchitt329:  Hm… I never thought about it that way. It could. But it would also let him know you’re thinking about him? And you miss him as much as he misses you? I don’t know, that’s all I got. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors