my husband have a picture of a porn star that looks a lot like his ex

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Maybe he thought it was funny, and was going to show his friends or you. And make fun of his ex for turning to porn. If I saw a pic of my ex’s doppelgänger I’d take a pic too and share it.

Post # 4
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think this boils down to trust and your insecurities about your marriage. A picture doesn’t mean much. He could find pictures of her via facebook if he wanted to. You’re really worried he still loves her. Why not talk to him about your feelings? You need to communicate with him to sort all of this out.

Post # 5
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ex jealousy is normal but he married you. You are the woman that he has committed to spending the rest of his life with. The fact that she left him simply shows her up as a flighty, unpredicatable and unwifely woman, unlike you who he gets stability, endless love and commitment from. He is bound to appreciate all of these things you give him that she couldn’t and didn’t. Ultimately there will come a point with him where he has enough distance from his ex and security in his marriage to you that he will see how badly she treated him and therefore be able to acknowledge her as unpleasant and not worth his time or thought. It can take a while when people were in long term relationships to take off the rose tinted glasses but he will get there and with you by his side, i wouldn’t worry. 

Post # 6
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Relationship 101: Communication is key! He is your husband, talk to him!

Post # 7
Member
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

The good that can come from asking him about it is you both learning to communicate with each other and becoming more open.  AND, for you to work through your trust issues with him.  

There are a million reasons why he might have taken a picture of that DVD, you wont know why he did until you ask him.  He’s your HUSBAND, if you can’t talk to him about things that bother you, how can you expect to have a better marriage than any of his previous relationships? 

Post # 8
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know if I would take a photo of it if it looked like my ex, but I wouldn’t think oddly about it if someone did. It’s not like he had the dvd sitting out on the kitchen table or something…it’s a photo of a cover only. 

Post # 9
Member
2220 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Honestly, just talk to him about it. I found something on my SO’s computer once that brought up so many emotions-anger, sadness, jealousy- but I remember feeling much better after talking through it with him. I’m kind of agreeing with PP’s- he probably thought it was funny and took a picture without thinking much about it. But you won’t know until you talk to him.

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