My Husband is Leaving…

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

So for the first 2 years of my FI and I’s relationship he would be gone for 2-4 months starting in November due to work. It didn’t help that his normal work schedule consisted of him being home any where from 10-15 hours then gone for 24. I went to school and worked. A lot. I would try and see friends 1x a week. (I don’t have a lot of friends that lived close). I read a lot and focused on my dog. I also spent time with my family.

Now we moved away from them and I am struggling…. I don’t have any friends up here so I understand what you are going through. And you can’t blame yourself. In no way is him taking this job have to do with your car accident. Something else could’ve happened. Life has a way of knocking people around at no fault of their own.

Post # 3
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

I definitely understand where your coming from. You will drive yourself crazy feeling guilty about the accident. I think it will definitely be hard but you will likely adjust as time goes by. Spending time with family and friends or picking up a new hobby might be very helpful. Skype might come in handy as well. 

 

Post # 4
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I think you have to take some deep breaths and accept the reality of what is. You can’t waste your energy thinking “What if I hadn’t had that accident” or “this is my fault.” You have to think of a plan of attack for dealing with the time your DH will be gone and do what you need to to get through it.

Post # 6
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

MrsWoods47:  Tis life. Especially when they are the “bread winner”. Just focus on finding your identity while your husband is working. We tend to get lost in our SO and relationships when you have somebody home every night. I have faith you can survive this. If I can, I know you can!

 

Post # 7
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

ETA. I don’t see my H throughout the week during the school year, but I really don’t mind that much. I’m only bothered if I don’t see him on the weekends too.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  tcgstar.
Post # 8
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I stay busy, courses, gym, friends, projects at home (mostly closet organization). There’s so much you can do…

Post # 9
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My fiance and I have never lived in the same town until this month! Now I finally am moving cross country to be with him, but even so, he works 13+ hour days and I will be at work when he comes home and goes to bed. It sucks and it can be terribly lonely. Dive into work and working out! Also, I know it costs money and money is tight for you, but get a cat or a dog if you don’t have one! They are surprisingly good company and my dog makes me feel so much safer and better when I’m home alone at night!

Post # 10
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

hwo0801:  Oh, a pet! Such good advice! 

I was long distance for two years. It sucked, but I enjoy independent time: for reading, crafts, watching TV my SO doesn’t like, hanging out with friends.. there’s a lot you can do! I really recommend exploring some inexpensive crafts.

Post # 11
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Golf Course

I know it sounds hard, but try not to over think the accident and guilt yourself! Not quite to the same scale as I had no insurance troubles, but I was at fault in an accident last year and just felt so stupid and guilty about it as my insurance payments went up from $175 to $325. But my mom, fiance and friends all just reassured me that what’s done is done, we can only learn from our mistakes!

As for not missing your FI, I’m afraid I don’t have much advice… I’m used to going to bed before him, and the once a year conference he attends just flies by. Just try and keep busy! Is there a hobby you’ve been hoping to learn? Knitting, crafting, baking? Maybe you can try that while he’s away! 

Post # 13
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s a GREAT rotation!  LOL.  I think you’re over-reacting.  Stay busy, plan nice dinners for the days he’s home.  Make sure the house is tidy so when he gets home you can relax and enjoy each other in a restful environment.

My husband works out of town.  He’s on a 15 and 6 rotation, meaning I see him only every other weekend.  I work locally (I’m the breadwinner), and while it sucks sometimes, it’s what’s necessary right now.

Last summer we were both working out of town, and our shifts were completely opposite.  We saw each other 4 days in 4 months.  Focus on friendships, take a class, and stay busy.  Don’t dwell on it and you’ll be fine.

Post # 14
Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MrsWoods47:  since you are only planning to work part time, could you either look for a full time job or a second part time job? That would kill 2 birds….your time would be occupied so you wouldn’t have as much energy to waste missing your husband, and you would be able to help improve your financial situation. 

Post # 15
Member
4797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

MrsWoods47:  It won’t be fun especially at first. Find some hobbies and friends to keep busy. Skype with him. And keep things in perspective, think of all our troops who are overseas for months at a time, no weekend breaks like your hubby gets. I think of things like that when I am feeling blue about something.

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