Post # 1
I have to admit to you, if my husband liked this sort of thing on his own I really don’t think it would bother me to this extent.He only likes and only has the opinion of his mother. He is like her other husband. A “mama’s boy,” if you will. He will make big decisions with her, he even went alone with her to look at houses before doing it with me!
He likes this little old lady style and wants to decorate our new home as such. I don’t know what to do!! I loathe it!! We are in our mid 20’s. He wants a la-z-boy recliner, a couch with cup holders, a pellet stove, and all these little tacky knick-knacks that she likes.
It doesn’t help that the house has the exact same layout as his parent’s house but I looked past that.
I just find it incredibly upsetting. I just KNOW his mother will be coming over bringing knick-knacks and “old-ladying” it up because that’s how she is. It will be like the two of them own the house and are decorating it.
What can I do, seriously?
Post # 3
Wow that’s crazy that he actually likes her style! I would just come to a compromise with him. Either by piece in each room, or you each get whatever rooms to decorate.
If there is room, maybe you could give him a man cave that he can decorate however he wants?
Post # 4
The thing is, neither style is better than the other, they’re just different. He likes what he likes (which is what he grew up with) and you like what you like.
The only thing you can really do is compromise and give him his own space to decorate to his heart’s content. Most people who want recliners want them for comfort, and they ARE really comfortable! In our house, I’ve got the main floor living room and dining room, and Fi has the entire basement. Works for us!
Post # 5
Maybe it is just his style.
I like many things that my mom likes because I grew up around her so those things are familiar and comforting.
Besides, I don’t think most of what you are taking issue with are “old-lady” like. There are plenty of modern looking recliners, the home decor items you call knick-knacks can be very tastful and fun and show a little personality. And I’d never call a movie room with the couches/chairs with the cup holders “old-lady”.
Post # 6
@Mrs.KMM: that’s true, I guess I think of true “old lady” fashion like Marie in Everybody loves Raymond.
I agree though, done correctly it can look great. I would love a lazboy!
Post # 7
@yassim: I know exactly what you’re referring to. My FILs have their house decorated in just such a fashion. I’m truly not a fan and glad that FI and I share similar taste.
I’m not sure what advice to give you other than compromise. Get a recliner, but get a nice modern looking one. Let him have some knicknacks but limit them. Get some mod picture frames and pick out some cool pictures of you two and use them as an excuse for not having as much room for the cheesy knicknacks.
Honestly though, it seems the real issue is not that he likes Hummels and doilies, it’s that he would rather have input from his mother than from you. I think that’s something you should have a discussion about. I know that would make me extremely uncomfortable.
Post # 8
I would be more upset that my husband was going house-shopping with his mother before he went with me. He’s not married to HER, he’s married to YOU. He won’t be living with her, he’ll be living with YOU.
The style thing will work itself out as you each pick, choose, and compromise on the items you decorate with.
Post # 9
@Aure: Honestly though, it seems the real issue is not that he likes Hummels and doilies, it’s that he would rather have input from his mother than from you. I think that’s something you should have a discussion about. I know that would make me extremely uncomfortable.
That’s exactly what I was trying to say, you just said it so much better!
Post # 10
I have no advice for you except that I wanted to scream out of horror. My FI and I decorate the exact opposite of our parents because we can’t stand the knick knack, flowerly thick window treatment stuff like our parents.
Do you think he just wants the house to feel like ‘home’ to him and this is what he always considered to be ‘home’?
Post # 11
Have you talked with him about this? You didn’t say so in you op. Is he refusing to honor your requests and tastes after you have informed him of your feelings or is it that he just doesn’t realize all of this? If it is the latter, TELL HIM!
Post # 12
You can put your foot down, for one, and tell him these are decisions you want to make WITH him and not find out after the fact.
You really need to find your voice in this relationship….
Post # 13
I feel your pain. My hubby always says “But my mom makes it this way and I really like it that way” when I cook something. I told him he can go back living with his momma then 😛 LOL.
Post # 14
He wants a la-z-boy recliner, a couch with cup holders,
hahah – im laughing because when we got our couch i imagined a stylish 4 seater with chaise in beautiful italian leather but what we got was custom made high backed fully reclining cinema chairs with cupholders! (he chose of course)
how about a compromise – some of what he wants (one recliner with cup holder) but in a stylish fabric and lose the granny florals knick knacks.
Post # 15
That’s a tough position to be in. I am so happy that I can talk to my husband about anything and tell him exactly how it is. Sometimes it’s hard to come to a complete agreement but as long as you both can compromise on something than that’s important. He needs to be told that his mother’s input is no longer priority one. It’s never going to change, she will always want to put her two cents into everything and that is just normal. BUT, you are his wife and you two should talk thing over before any decision is made. Maybe you can incorporate what you both like into your decor.
Post # 16
For your anniversary, buy him a pair of surgical scissors. You’re his wife. He needs to cut the cord to his mother, and start making decisions with his wife first and foremost. Also, tell him he is solely responsible for dusting every and any little knick-knack at least every three days, or out they go. Buahahahaha Sorry. Probably not realistic advice. But I still like the surgical scissors hint. 😉