Post # 1
So my husband and have been talking about having a baby the last couple of years and we decided next year would be the year! I will be getting off the pill first thing 2012. We just had the Finance talk and how we will be able to handle the bills once I leave for Maternity etc..
Anywho Ive made comments about how Im scared but excited, and weve talked about if he’d like to be in Delivery room.
Well today he kinda pissed me off, I’m not sure if he was just being a guy or if he’s actually Cluless.
He said something along the lines of, Stop freaking out, how do you know it will hurt? youve never had a baby.
I was like WHAT??!?! Ive never had a sledgehammer through my skull either but I know it will probably hurt.
I asked him if he’s ever seen the Miracle of Birth or any of those Educational movies?
He’s said no he doesnt want to.
Now he’s said he’s always wanted children, and he’s excited about me getting pregnant next year. But its like he’s clueless about the changes in my body that will happen.
I kinda wanna show him a DVD like From “Conception To Birth” to see if he really grasps what it takes to have a child.
Is he just being a “guy” and not interested in this stuff? or willl he eventually feel the need to soak in the knowledge of Pregnancy once its actually happening to me?
Post # 3
You see this is why we need better sexually education programs in schools, don’t feel to bad about him being completely clueless I know woman in their mide 20s who are clueless.
Post # 4
Guys can be so clueless sometimes. I think if he wants you to be the one to get pregnant and go through those physical changes/experiences, then the LEAST he can do is to learn about what it is you’re going through; if for nothing else than so he can be sympathetic/supportive to you.
Post # 5
@Ugoob: Tell him to imagine peeing, oh I don’t know, an apple. I would definitely make him watch one of those videos. He needs to appreciate just what you’ll be going through 😉
Post # 6
He is clueless, my husband was the same way …before we had munchkin
Post # 7
I would tell him I am not having a baby until he does something to learn what will happen. Whether its read a book or watch a video (maybe you pick one of each and he can choose which one)
Having a baby is hard, and stressful and a number of other things. You need to be sure he knows what he is getting into and that he can support you. Tell him that.
Post # 8
@lefeymw: I like this idea! Thanks!
Post # 9
Even if you can’t get him to watch one of those educational videos, there are tons of childbirth scenes in regular movies. The one in Knocked Up is pretty graphic (actually has a real crowning shot), and that might give him an idea without forcing him to sit down and watch a documentary.
Post # 10
@lefeymw: <– agreed!
Pregnancy is HARD… not just the labor & delivery part but all of it.
If he’s already taking a stance of not understanding or grasping the significance of it then I’d be prepared for him not understanding you being exhausted, or feeling too much like poo to cook/clean/keep up with sex either.
Darling Husband had a pretty good idea of pregnancy & birthing already and it’s still been trying at times.
I wouldn’t agree with get preggers until he learned somethings first…. Maybe even him talking with some other guys who are already dads?..
Post # 11
My husband doesn’t understand why women have periods, or that if you don’t ovulate you can’t get pregnant. I am on Nuvaring and he is always telling me that he wants to pull my ring out and have sex so that I’ll get preggers. But he doesn’t get it that it wouldn’t work because I wouldn’t have ovulated.
Post # 12
My boyfriend was awesome the whole time. He knew it was painful and didnt think I would be able to handle it without medications. i had a midwife and had 7 hours of labour, no meds and hes very proud of me.
Post # 13
@lefeymw: I second what lefeymw said. He needs to know before you start trying.
On a sidenote: guys are just idiots sometimes! They don’t think before they speak!
Post # 14
Wow. I hope he was joking when he said “how do you know it will hurt? youve never had a baby.” I think Everybody knows childbirth is very painful, regardless of how clueless some people may be about the details of it. everybody knows theres a baby in your womb that needs to get out and it hurts which ever way it comes out.
Post # 15
My husband doesn’t get it either. When I feel sick or I have an out of control craving, he is just like “Oh, okay…”
BUT yesterday I was in a mood. He called me from work and asked “So what time did you wake up?”
Me: “6am, Dirty Delete woke me up to read a book.”
Him: “Must be nice, I had to leave for work at 3am.”
Me: “It’s not a contest, I’m just tired. Pregnancy takes a lot out of you and I don’t feel great.”
Him: “Oh please. I’ve had kidney stones before it’s the exact same thing.”
Me: “….. You didn’t carry the kidney stone for 9 months while it sucked your energy dry, made you puke nightly and made all food taste and smell disgusting. You did not gain 30 pounds when you had a kidney stone or have to go to monthly appointments being poked with cold instruments to check up on the kidney stone. So kindly stop talking before I really go off!”
Yeah, he definitely came home with flowers and pumpkin cheesecake yesterday 🙂
Post # 16
@KatyElle: That is hilarious. I think most guys learn pretty quick that even if they think things like that you don’t actually say them to your pregnant wife:)
OP: Honestly, I think most guys are like that. My Darling Husband would probably not sit down and watch one of those movies with me. He was clueless about pregnancy and labor with our first child, but as the pregnancy went along he really was a great support, he just kind of went with the flow. Our birthing class was really helpful to prepare him some what for delivery. I wouldn’t worry about it too much now, when the time comes I am sure he will step up.